The art of kneeing (part 6)

Female self defense is not only about getting the right knowledge and skills but also about keeping ourselves in good shape. Linda wasn’t some kind of rigorous, uptight academic; she liked to combine focused intensive training with fun, often in unexpected ways. We took her criticism seriously and somehow agreed that as city college girls, our physicality is compromised, and we need to exercise more. As Linda stressed, improved well-being and fitness come in handy right at the moment when we need to fight back.

Aerobics is an excellent cardio that can help boost
fitness but also train knee lifts   

Luckily, the stressful exam period was over, and I was ready to switch from brain to body workout. Linda recommended aerobics as excellent cardio to be done at least twice a day, starting slowly, a few minutes in the morning and the evening and gradually extending the duration, speed, and intensity. Aerobics consists of simple dance-like movements performed in quick repetition, improving strength, endurance, flexibility, and muscle mnemonics. All of this is beneficial not only for our well-being and health but also for training in the effective automatic execution of given self-defense techniques. A prime example is a knee lift, a basic aerobics move that closely simulates thrusting the knee up to the attacker's testicles with power, speed, and precision.

The knee lift can be done by placing the hand in front of you and bringing the bent leg upward repeatedly, hitting the palm of your hand with the kneecap. With your hand as an imaginary testicle target, you can easily adjust the position and height. Other relevant moves can be, for instance, back kicks, elbows, hammer-fist strikes, or forward punches.

As Linda suggested, I made my personal workout plan for the coming weeks and did the exercises twice a day. Initially, I was short of breath fast, but I noticed advances every day.  The sessions might get boring over time, but I came up with some great ideas for enhancements.  First, do it with some nice, rhythmic music, and there is nothing better than oldies classics such as iconic Olivia Newton-John's Physical and Michael Sembello's Maniac! To get fully into the eighties vibes,  I even bought purple leggings, a neon leotard, ankle warmers, and a headband!  There still has to be a training program on VHS from my grandmom somewhere in the closet, but even if I found it, I could not get a hold of a VHS player anyway, so I resorted to watching some YouTube videos to add some dynamic choreography and complexity to the moves.

Pink socks can nicely simulate the scrotum,
squash balls testes

Keeping in mind what I am actually training for, I devised a nifty training gadget to spice things up. I went to a local sports shop and bought two squash balls and a badminton shuttlecock. The squash balls were of an appropriate size and almost perfect weight, 24 grams each, close to an average man's testicle. The shuttlecock was a bit small and light to my liking, but I could not find anything better. I used the rubber band to bundle up the shuttlecock feather end to get the right penis-elongated shape. I grabbed a pair of pink socks and I placed the squash balls in one and the shuttlecock in the other. With a few more rubber bands, I assembled it all to get an almost-true-to-reality male genital replica, and admittedly,  I was proud of my little homemade creation! 😊 I pushed aside the coffee table and sofa in the living room to make room and by using a long thin rope, I hung it from the chandelier to the right height, a bit above my waist. And now I was just about to unleash my intensive tool-enhanced workout. I started repeatedly kneeing the fake scrotum with a little floppy willy so it jiggled frantically in all directions like an untameable plush monkey on a rubber band I used to have ages ago. I visualized the odd pink object as the genitals of a bad guy, which I intended to obliterate and send to outer space with each knee strike. I incorporated various strong shoutouts with each strike: Crush! or Pop! I always recall Linda's motto: “Precision and power have to work together, and do not hold back!” Also, I did not forget correct breathing is extremely important; I inhaled before striking deeply and exhaled rapidly with each shoutout.

The constant bouncing made it an unpredicted target, so obviously, I missed occasionally, but when I readjusted my aim and succeeded in landing a perfect hit, I exclaimed Gotcha! Maybe sounds silly but this arrangement was very helpful in my training endeavors and always made me long for the next session despite all the tiredness and sweat. Before closing the session, I gave my squishy toy a good squeeze “Now, we are both finished!” I told myself, exhausted, gasping for air, but at the same time ecstatic.   

I made sure I had demounted the prop well before Tom came home and hid it in the drawer under the towels. He was obviously very supportive of seeing me exercise, but I kept the double purpose of the aerobics workout a secret.  My boyfriend isn’t a wimp but a bit of a sensitive soul,  I wanted him to be spared from some awkward explanations on the purpose of the peculiar genital-like object being busted with my knees. I just want to keep it that way.

 We were happy to have our darling attackers back
with a real living set of testicles.  

There was a university midterm break, and two of Linda’s classes were called off, but I could not wait any longer to see my classmates again and to know whether other girls had as much fun and a great time as I did with the new fitness activities. Especially I was eager to share my tips and tricks on my ingenious training equipment. We all cheered as we found out that actually more girls had a similar idea about making a genital prop. Bob and Peter were listening to our chatter with disbelief and awe. To make a vow that their function as darling attackers and their testicles are not replaceable by any means, Laura wrapped her hands around Peter's lean body ruffled his hair with affection, and ensured him of his importance by whispering to his ears “Luckily, we have you and don’t need any fake genitalia for the training anymore, hope you are ready for today's assistance?”

We all giggled but stopped the moment  Linda entered the dojo.  She greeted us with a smile as she definitely heard what we were talking about, but was not bothered at all and immediately commented “Seems you used your free time wisely, looking forward to seeing your improved physique. We are going to have a very demanding class today!”

I noticed she was holding a basket with some garments, which she placed in the center of the dojo put her hands on her waist, and announced the coming program  “In this session, we enter the next stage of mastering full-power kneeing in realistic scenarios.”

“Yes! Finally!” Ana suddenly exclaimed in excitement and clapped her hands. She was not alone we all shared her zealousness.

Linda never turned down our enthusiasm but she stressed the importance of doing things right “I know you are looking forward but this is a highly risky activity so before we start let's gear up our boys first.” She took out an oval object from the basket. “This is a hard metal protective cup with a strap, it has an ergonomic shape and cushion. Our dean was so generous and spared no expense for the boy's safety, so I could buy the best product on the market. Let me tell you, the cheap plastic cups do not work, I have seen injuries from shattered craps before… it was a mess and not a nice sight.  The extremely important thing is to get the correct size so both the penis and testicles can fit in snugly and the assistant does not feel any discomfort. Too loose oversized cups are also not good as the genitals can get violently shaken inside and such a cup is more easily dislodged. That’s why I rather make the purchase, young men tend to largely overestimate the size of their package.”  

For full force, real scenario training high-quality
metal cups are required equipment. 

She showed us the product and rotated it so we all see its features “I  bought an M-sized for Peter and an L-sized one for Bob. OK, Let's see if I got the sizes right.” Linda's uncompromised genital volume assessment made Peter blush and look a bit embarrassed; Bob on the other hand smirked and showed signs of satisfaction. However, Laura a bit mischievously added to the touchy subject “Pity no XXL size cup for any of them!”

To save the day, Susanne put the genital size issue into more medical terms “That’s OK; we all know they both have genitals of normal size to their male post-pubertal stage, and anyway, somebody is always a shower, and somebody a grower.”  

“Oh, you want to tell us they teach this in your medical courses?” Rebeca could not resist to add to the discussion.

Linda disliked this deviation from the seriousness of the topic of male anatomical protection to such frivolous banter, she made a face and continued getting the boys ready. Peter was lucky to be the first receiver.  

“The most appropriate way to wear this thing is on bare skin,” Linda said and looked into Peter’s eyes demandingly. He understood the signal correctly and quite unenthusiastically removed his gym shorts and briefs exposing his male pride. With an almost motherly care, she helped him to get in the protective garment. She gently placed the cup over his genitals with satisfaction and fixed its position gently. “My estimation was correct, ladies look, how the sensitive organs got nicely accommodated in the pocket and are now shielded by a metal shell.”

She also handed him compression shorts so the cup would be secured firmly in place with no room to wiggle. To evidence that thing is working she knocked on it hard with no visible reaction from Peter, which clearly wouldn’t happen without a cup. He now looked like a superhero owning an oversized bulge 😊

We all watched our darling attackers getting ready with great interest and zest to test the testicle protective function of Linda’s costly purchase.  Suddenly Emma surprised us with a question out of the blue. “What if they got an erection in the cup? Wouldn't it cause discomfort or hurt them?” Even Linda smirked and I noticed she was not that confident in her answer “Possibly, but you are not supposed to arouse them.”

Emma added. “Well, we will see if our knees possess such a stimulating power!” We all laughed and our excitement went through the roof…