Jawbreakers 👄🍭 part 1

Popping a grape with teeth

There is possibly no topic more controversial than biting as a last resort of self defense technique, and several impatient commenters have been asking me to cover this issue for a long time. Maybe I delayed writing about it because it requires my earnest engagement. Not surprisingly, getting the concept of biting right was an essential part of Linda’s course curriculum. She always mentored us that it is important to keep our teeth set in good condition not only for health and beauty but also because one day can serve as a reliable secret weapon for some of the most effective (and surely brutal) self defense counteractions when in close quarters. Linda once said: “Don’t be discouraged that many consider biting some kind of pathetic girly fighting. You got to do what you got to do, which includes inflicting some serious injury by all means possible.” Linda always stressed she does not teach martial arts or sports but no-rules survival tactics and biting is undoubtedly one of such effective strategies highly applicable for certain situations.

Biting as an intimate activity can be also a good training 

Firstly, you have to understand what Linda meant by ‘biting’. It is not some kind of playful nibbling at erogenous zones that you do with your boyfriend as part of cute aggression during foreplay (no secret here, have a lot of experience with Tom) but once you decide to go this way, it has to be violent: sinking the teeth deeply in, munching, gnawing,  popping, or tearing to remove chunks of weak parts of male body parts: ears, lips, nose, tongue and not surprisingly also glans penis and testicles. Linda called these techniques jawbreakers—large American-style layered hard candies in the shape of large balls, you lick or put into your mouth and suck on it. Attempting to crush it, without softening puts your jaws and teeth at risk of damage, but when defending, this should be your least concern. As always, she also gave appropriate names for separate wounding techniques, usually referring to kitchen gadgets. I guess you can imagine what the cucumber slicer or cherry pitter means. Sorry for making you cringe, but it always helped with visualization and understanding the principle.

One of the downsides is it can be repulsive and when executed as required, it results in drawing the attacker’s blood and a serious risk of infection. Hence biting should be resorted for situations when no other options are available, for instance, your limb movement is restricted, your hands are tied, or when needed to be employed for additional strikes. Logically using teeth is possibly the most applicable during forced oral sex when those delicate male appendages are almost offered to you to take a good bite and send him into shock.  

American candy called jawbreaker gave the name to techniques
involving the mouth. They even come in egg shape 

Most of you are often extremely triggered by the fact that we were lucky to be granted the extraordinary opportunity to test our skills on our ‘toothsome’ darling attackers Bob and Peter.  Their involvement in our training and practice, was not a walk in the park for them, sure, and as for other techniques they had to offer even their most precious, bare reproductive organs for our ‘exploration and exploitation’. There is no learning without doing, no exceptions, sorry boys!😉  Of course, we did not bite Bob and Peter’s penis heads off or make chewing gums from their testes. Linda responsibly oversaw us and enforced a safe concept of exercises, but also carefully accommodated our different needs: some of us were shyer than others, some took (maybe too seriously) the issue of safety and sanitation, and some were concerned about ethics and Bob and Peter's well-being. But her arrangements and adjustment to the curriculum never came at the expense of our proper training. Understandably no excessively hard, skin-breaking pressure was allowed (this was reserved for genital substitutes only), but still, those two poor heroes left the dojo with some visible bitemarks on their willies and beans having something to explain to their girlfriends😊.

It sounds unfair and overboard but it brought a lot of fun, and creativity as well as blushes on faces, especially of those coursemates not accustomed to bringing out their fangs in bed.  Who would think there is a whole science behind the method of sucking a whole scrotum in the mouth,  firmly securing an ill-fated testis in the right place between molars before crushing it into oblivion like a grape, or how to completely severe the male head, I mean the one down there? It was as it sounds: dramatic, drastic, and deadly, and those who pity Bob and Peter I can't blame you. Just listening to Linda's detailed instructions, safety warnings and expected results made them a bundle of nerves.  Having a willing male partner and peppering your sex life with soft biting is of advantage, but in this post, I would like to touch upon the possible equipment, helpful for everyday routine and fostering your skills. Most of them you can buy in a local grocery store or even bake for yourself.  

Veggies and fruits: These are not only a healthy and tasty part of the diet but also affordable and easily accessible. Luckily we got tons of free supplies from Linda's garden. Their downside is that many do not represent either the right consistency, texture, or shape and size. Cucumbers and carrots are some of those obvious ones and can represent an erect penis, but biting through them is simply too easy. Testicular substitutes can be small fruits but be careful not to use those having a stone. Good examples are smaller unripe kiwis or cherry tomatoes. Just an advice, always wash the fruit/vegetable beforehand to remove the harmful pesticides and dirt.

Licorice penis batons 

Candies: Do you know those Chupa Chups lollipops with a spherical hard shell with a juicy chewy surprise insight? I was crazy about them when I was younger, I always could not resist, after softening it a bit by sucking and licking, then gnawing at it hard to crush it to get to the sour fruity but refreshing chewing gum. These threats are obviously quite unhealthy, they put in a lot of additives and colorants and tons of sugar, but as an occasional joy, I think it is acceptable. Good news, from now on, you can always justify buying them with the additional benefit of testicle-crushing training. 😊 On the other hand, I am not a big fan of licorice, but some licorice sweets often come in the shape of batons and even penises and have favorable firmness and chewy consistency. Unfortunately, their size is often too small for proper penis analogs. However, I found numerous recipes online, so you can actually bake them at home in the right size and shape. Sounds like a fun weekend activity, doesn’t it?

Realistic vibrators can be also
a multipurpose equipment  

Meat: Meat and meat products are possibly the closest substitutes for human anatomical parts when it comes to consistency. Taking large bites like a hungry lioness from a rare steak or ‘decapitating’ a hard paprika sausage to practice flesh-tearing and chopping skills can be another excuse not to always eat according to modern healthy nutrition recommendations.  

Sex toys: These can be quite expensive and nobody wants them destroyed in no time, even for the sake of self defense training, trust me.😊  However, their advantage over above mentioned substitutes is they come in a quite realistic shape, size, and texture. These true-to-nature substitutes can be used for acting out scenarios and a play-along approach with a dramatic ending. Some types of vibrators have a nice realistic set of silicone balls which can be highly applicable for practicing quick and secure sucking in testicles even those not so low hanging.

These are my tips but if you know any other good male genital substitutes let me know in the comments. To be continued…..

 

Balls of steel, balls of fear 🫣

Knowing physical self defense techniques is essential, but sometimes fighting is not even necessary to successfully thwart an unwanted advance or even a serious sex attack. Looking back I greatly appreciate that Linda took a very holistic approach to our training and comprehensively covered some crucial psychological aspects as well. As already mentioned the greatest irony of Nature is that the core of a man's masculinity is also the source of his greatest bodily and psychological vulnerability. Male external gonads produce the male hormone testosterone which drives aggression, and sperm which is critical for the continuation of the genetic lineage.

Grow some balls! It takes balls to do it!

Balls of steel? Not really. Rather balls of fear.

We all heard these sayings, didn’t we? Even in my language, we have similar expressions. Despite being just two little squishy pain generators in a fragile pouch of skin hanging between the legs, testicles across cultures symbolize manliness, courage, and boldness. Paradoxically, at the same time, their proud possession generates man's greatest anxiety. It is overwhelming angst of the possibility of failing in their protection which results in incredible pain, embarrassing situations, or worse, completely losing them and ending up permanently emasculated. They are called balls but just because of their spheric shape, not because they are sturdy as steel ball bearings😊; they are also called family jewels, precious two pendants to be protected at all costs, eggs, and nuts to signify their fragility and crackability.

Linda used to say: “Once you control his testicles, you control him completely, his body as his mind.” But it is not as easy as sounds. Boys learn from an early age that even slight accidental hits there hurt like hell, so they immediately try to protect them even if the threat is relatively negligible. So as already covered in one of my previous posts, distraction and deception are the keys to fully taking advantage of the vulnerability of testicles.

I remember, in high school boys tried to hit on us girls and to touch our tits and buttocks, and of course we protected our dignity and retaliated with quick knees into their boy bags. We hadn’t been provided with any training at that time, it was very instinctual and we just somehow picked it up. Even if we did not manage to properly connect with the right spot, the boys immediately crossed their legs, buckled, and rather backed off. Of course in instances when the knee connected well, the reaction was even more telling and the lesson was learned. Despite being horny, and apparently in the urge to explore and probe our female parts, they soon realized the vital danger and that it was not worth putting their sensitive organs in jeopardy. Although it was hilarious to observe the pitiful loss of machismo, I did not think much about it at that time.

Regardless of the level of muscularity,
men protect their testicles anxiously.  

Later when I attended Linda’s course I realized that having Bob and Peter on site was not only beneficial to effectively train the techniques on living “darling attackers” and real male organs but also to watch their natural reactions. It was telling when Linda just playfully flicked at their testicles with her hand, they timidly budged for safety. These were relatively lighthearted situations but when Linda started to explain some of her brutal techniques, they suspected their genitals were going to be used for some detailed realistic demonstrations. Even though they knew she was not going to do any harm or damage to their delicate organs they could not hide their anxiety behind the façade of invincible brave young men. 

It was all part of Linda's plan. It was not abstract or made up, it was genuine, and we could see it with our eyes, hear it with our ears, and learn from it. As young ladies appeared in the dangerous world, we soon became equipped with extraordinary knowledge and skills of how to put men to their knees and came to the realization men should fear us not the other way around.

 Our empowerment was born!

One of the unresolved issues of female self defense, even Linda was not definite about is whether we should let a potential attacker know what are we capable of to deter him from even trying something on. Or the other way around, should we rather keep our little brutal tricks in secret so we can unleash them unexpectedly when he is the most vulnerable and even exposed? Both approaches are valid, it all depends on the situation and encounter and type of attacker. In the first case, if you decide to go that way, it calls for some vivid descriptions of what can happen to his testicles when he disrespects your no.  Another tip is, when already fighting, loud shouts with each execution of a technique can be quite frightening, but not exactly the classical kiah! like in karate, but rather pop! crush! or rip!

I would like to finish this interesting topic with a related inspirational story. An anonymous blog reader sent me a very interesting story from his sister which greatly demonstrates the power of inducing male panic in preventing sex attacks and harassment.

Just holding a knife can induce fear and
 quickly solve a sticky situation. 

My sister had just finished a night of partying out on the town in a big city. She keeps a hunting knife with a 6-7 inch blade under the driver's seat. An unknown guy pulled down his pants exposing himself to my sister and her girlfriend close to the passenger side window.

Her friend in the passenger seat was freaking out. My sister told her friend to roll down the window. The girlfriend initially said no but my sister said don't worry we're okay and showed her friend the knife. "Just play along with me and we'll teach him a lesson," she said. My sister pulled the knife out of the sheath and handed it to her friend as she rolled down the window. She acted like she was sharpening the knife blade on a barber's leather razor strap (her palm). They both started talking to the pervert. Come here little man we'd like to see it closer while still acting like she was sharpening the knife on her wrist.

The guy saw the large knife and started walking away. My sister followed him with her 4-wheel drive jeep driving up onto the sidewalk while they were still asking him to come closer to the passenger side window. Saying "Come here little man we want to see it closer. Don't be afraid". They said over and over again. The man turned into a dark alley and my sister stopped following him and drove home.

Quick thinking on the girls' side enabled them to solve the situation without any physical contact. The guy will think twice to try it on again, next time the knife could be rather hidden… 

To hull strawberries (part 2) - death pinch 🤏

The tables turned for the guys. While Bob showed signs of relief, Peter became increasingly anxious. Death pinch sounded horrific, yet it sparked our curiosity. We all instinctively surrounded him so he could not ‘escape’ but at the same time, we felt for him. By showing affection and being kind to him we tried to mitigate his worries. Before getting to the real demonstration, Linda fetched a small chair and a thick textbook with the title Human Anatomy from the shelf in the corner of our dojo.

Peter was understandably worried but
we tried to make him comfortable.

When she returned, she waived with the book in front of Susanne. “I guess you know it well, don’t you?” Susanne nodded “Oh yes, I spent long nights with this book. I am so glad I already passed the anatomy exam!”

Linda had a pink sticky note on the page with the male reproductive system. She asked us to come closer to make a circle around her and to have a look at the detailed diagram. She started to explain things that you would normally hear during sex ed classes, not a university self defense course. Nevertheless, it was all extremely interesting and as we found out later quite relevant as well.

“Women consider testicles as some kind of two round marbles in a wrinkly skin pouch, but these organs are actually highly complicated structures. Like strawberries connected with the plant at the back allowing the flow of nutrients and water, testicles have some plumbing attached, ensuring their vital functions and all-way transport of fluids. Sperm is produced within seminiferous tubules packed inside the testes, two oval glands covered with tunica albuginea, a tough fibrous cover that acts like a shell and is not easy to rupture.” She was slowly moving her finger on the diagram to specify all the structures she was referring to.

The testicle is a complicated structure,
the most sensitive part is the epididymis
which can be easily pinched off.

“Immature sperm accumulates in the organ called the epididymis where it matures before it is released during the climax. This organ is a soft bundle of highly innervated tissue attached at one point to the back of each testis. Importantly, it is not covered by tunica albuginea and is possibly a man's most sensitive anatomical part. However, it is relatively small and hidden in the rear so not easy to target…but it is a great pressure point for hand techniques when you gained access to the naked scrotum, for instance during a successful play-along strategy. The severity of the technique used on this part can be adjusted; just light squeezing will stop any unwanted advance of a date or overzealous boyfriend and will teach him a lesson.  A full death pinch will help you to get rid of the most dangerous attackers. Maybe even forever.”

“Why is it called death pinch?” Louise broke the silence and asked innocently.  

Linda replied “Well, it was called like that by my sensei, she learned it during her service in the secret service.  It causes the death of the testicle as it cannot be repaired. It is amazing that even a pinch by a woman can cause such a drastic effect. Besides that, it is so extremely painful it can cause neurogenic shock and death of the attacker.”

You should have seen Peter's face listening to all of this and expecting to have his testicles in Linda’s hand in no time.

“For the execution of a death pinch, you need to learn to locate the structure quickly and efficiently. Let me demonstrate….”

She put the book aside and squatted in front of Peter. “Let’s see what we got.” She pulled Peter's shorts down to his knees to expose the young man's genitals.  It was hot at that time of the year, so Peter’s scrotum was hanging low, his left testicle visibly lower. The quick pull movement caused the whole hairy bag with two eggs and one meaty Frankfurter sausage to swing like a small pendulum. It somehow called for a witty comment, and Ana did not wait any longer. “Peter has got a full package!” Peter got blushing and we all giggled but it was all light-hearted. We all greatly appreciated his bravery.

Linda ordered the poor guy to remove his shorts and briefs completely and put his right leg on the chair, so she could get unobstructed access and we can get a better view of the probed object.

For training, the back of the testicles
should be probed gently like an expensive fabric. 

“Let me show you something first.” Linda gently put her hand on his inner thigh and moved it slowly up toward his genitals. Suddenly, the skin of the scrotum shrunk so the testicles bounced up, and after a short time, they went slowly down gain. Like a small yoyo! It was so funny, it looked like the testicles got scared of Linda's hand and tried to get away from her! This caused another wave of laughter.

Susanne, even without asking, explained that what we just witnessed was a cremasteric reflex. “It is the autonomous response of the nervous system, triggered by potential danger, in this case, Linda’s hand, by retracting testicles close to the body to protect them. Usually of no avail!” She sounded very sarcastic with the last comment. 

Linda smiled and nodded in agreement. She turned to Peter and looked into his eyes, “Don’t worry Peter there is no danger to your testicles, there will be just a small discomfort.” She then immediately put the fingers of her right hand behind his sac and flipped them quickly a few times like she was writing on a keyboard, so the fingertips tapped the back of the testicles resulting in Peter’s scrotum rippling. It was a gentle movement but still triggered a significant reaction. Peter bent over and released a loud uff. He pulled his leg from the chair, covered his crotch, and reproachfully looked at Linda.

She did not care. “You see, just a mild tap on that area can shoot a significant pain signal in his brain.” Then, without giving him much recovery time, she pointed with her finger at the chair as a sign he had to put his leg back and get ready for the demonstration. Although hesitatingly, he did, and she continue with her demonstration.

“Ok, let's find that magic pain button. Watch closely.” She gently took his left testicle in one hand and clutched her thumb and pointer finger of the other hand at the backside.

Locate the cord first and then move down
to find the head of the epididymis.

“To locate the epididymis, you start gently feeling the spermatic cord at the root of the testicle.” She gently rubbed the area where the testicle attaches to the body. Like this, she raised her hand and showed a mild gesture, like you would probe an expensive fabric.  

“The spermatic cord consists of nerves, blood vessels, and the vas deferens and is quite easily palpable. Once you are sure you have it, move your fingers down and it will lead you to the head of the epididymis. You will notice some kind of bump of a different texture on the top of the testis. This is the head of the epididymis.  Probe it with your fingers along its whole length so you get an idea of how it feels.” 

I noticed Peter’s body was shivering a bit and there were goosebumps on the skin of his thighs.

She suddenly changed the tone from deadly serious to playful. “Of the note girls, I read that based on the firmness of the structure you can tell if the guy ejaculated recently.” She then looked again deep into Peter's eyes. “Well, based on what I feel, I suspect your girlfriend neglects her duty.”

“We can take care of it later, right?” Rebeca nudge me with her elbow and winked at me.

Linda did not notice her comment and went on with the demonstration.

“Once you located it, you can test the sensitivity of this pain generator by squeezing it lightly. I emphasize just lightly!” The moment she said that Peter’s body suddenly spasmed and released another uff. 

Linda commented, “It is very sensitive as you can see.”

“Now to the real technique. It starts with fixating a testicle with one hand, like this.”  She encircled the testicle with her fingers, so it got completely entrapped and bulging at the back. “Once you have it securely trapped, use the thumb and pointer fingernails of your other hand to claw the structure, like a crab. It must be violent, and the nails have to be hooked and sunk deep into the tissue in the grove between the epididymis and the testis. Then add the squeezing, twisting, and ripping motion like you would remove the stem from the strawberry. Basically, you dehulled his testis and disconnect it from the main body. There is no way it can be recovered and will have to be removed. The pain completely immobilizes him and it lingers for a long time.”

The whole metaphoric expression sounded weird but at the same time spot on. Suddenly we understood why Linda brought the strawberries and let us remove stems with our fingernails at the beginning of the class. Just that we get the idea.

Emma broke the long silence. “Fuuu! That sounds horrific!” She put her head affectionately on Peter’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Peter for good guys like you it shall never happen.”

Linda surprisingly opposed that statement “Well, some attackers might look like nice and attractive guys first. Don’t get fooled easily, always be vigilant, and do not hold back when fighting.”   

 The tension on Peter's face eased only when Linda let his testicles hang freely again and she got on her feet.  

Linda clapped her hands. “Time for practice girls! Let’s go one by one, but again it is a delicate thing,  I warn you. The purpose of this exercise is to familiarize yourself with the structure and be able to find it quickly.  You are allowed to squeeze it just lightly to confirm you found the right spot. So please no dehulling.”  We all got the idea that we must be extremely careful with this one. I could not wait for m turns. Rebeca was quite impatient “Can we also get Bob for this training? You know just to try on different testicles.” She wrapped her arm around Bob's shoulder as some kind of friendly gesture. Her request was made in such a demanding tone that was hard to reject.

“Sure,” Linda nodded, “just get another chair.” I could hear a joyful yes!

To crack two eggs 🥚🥚

As I already wrote elsewhere Linda always managed to surprise us with some unexpected approximations and metaphors. She initiated one of her classes by showing us a strange metal device I have never seen before. She asked us “Do you know what this is?” Ana raised her hand “I think it is an egg cracker, my grandma has a similar one.”

Egg cracker

Linda nodded “That’s correct. I bought one when I was cooking cakes for my cousin’s wedding. At first, I thought it is just one of those useless gadgets to fill up kitchen drawers, but surprisingly, in the end, I use it a lot. Surely you can crack eggs just with your hand, it does not require a lot of skills, but this tool prevents spoiling the dough with pieces of eggshells and I do not have to cope with all the mess after some occasional failures. I am showing you this thing to explain to you today’s highly effective last resort self defense technique named after this kitchen tool.”

Linda started her explanation “So how do you normally crack an egg with your hand? You hold it firmly in the palm of your hand first and then smash it on some sharp edge, usually a bowl to generate a crack while you separate the two halves with your fingers, letting the content of the egg drop into a bowl or on a pan. In the egg cracker device, this is done by these separate mechanical parts.” By pressing the handle, she showed us what she means and continued. “The egg cracker technique is based on similar mechanics:  blunt support on one side and a sharp blow with a pointy hard object on the other side. A man’s testis is like a chicken egg by its shape and quite often also by size. Well, in some men the size is closer to a quail egg.” Linda smiled.

“Similarly, the testis has also an outer shell, a fibrous tough layer called tunica albuginea which can be ruptured, and the inner content, seminiferous tubules leak out as it was egg yolk and white causing the man unbearable pain.” We all cringed at the thought of such a horrific injury even if caused to a would-be rapist.

At that moment I briefly looked at Bob and Peter sitting on a bench, playing with their smartphones waiting to be called to ‘serve’ as our ‘darling attackers’. As always, I was relieved to find out that they did not hear these brutal explanations from Linda.

Linda continued her lesson “You often get into the stage of an attack when you need to incapacitate your attacker quickly and securely. A young female hand is rarely sufficiently strong to cause real testicular damage, yet to rupture the testes by squeezing. Here comes the egg cracker technique. The prerequisite is that both of your hands are free, and you have access to his genitals, but such a window of opportunity likely occurs during a sex attack for example during forced oral sex.”  

Linda moved from theory to practice. “OK girls, let me demonstrate the technique on these silicone testicles. Look closely. I am grabbing the testicles with my left hand, securing them in the palm but not enclosing them completely so that half of it remain exposed. This will be the area to strike. Now with my right hand, I make a fist with the index and middle fingers forming the letter V, knuckles pointing out.” She explained further that knuckles are made of hard bone and therefore provide a pointy and sturdy striking surface. Like a spear she mentioned.

“You can now charge your hand and hit the testicles hard, in a way so one knuckle hits one testicle and the other the second one. Do not hesitate to do it several times, with full force for the best effect.” She was then violently smashing the poor piece of silicone repeatedly producing a horrible thug sound with each hit. “And that’s it, your attacker is lying on the floor incapacitated or unconscious with completely battered gonads.” Linda looked at us with a grin on her face and added “There are a lot of variations of this technique possible, you can apply it on one testicle only or as a final move during GTP to maximize its effect. The beauty of the technique is that the grab does not need to be perfect, it just provides the back support so you can effectively perform it on all types of scrota tight or loose, big or small even if the man is still clothed. You will see the versatility once we practice with Bob and Peter. For now, try it out by yourself with these silicone ones.”

Egg cracker technique: (A) grab the testicles with one hand and
(B) smash them with the fist of the other hand knuckles first. Repeat if necessary.

She distributed all the testicle simulants from her equipment basket. We loved practicing with the rubbery substitutes as we could go crazy.  At some point we got tired of repeating the move, we started to fool around, waging the balls, and hitting each other. We all giggled when Emma fastened the faked balls on her shorts, so they were swinging between her legs and let Tania perform the egg cracker. Linda let us for some time but once she saw we are fooling around too much and not focusing on the training anymore she clapped her hands. “OK, enough, it is about time to show you the applicability and the nuances of this technique on real ball sets.” She then waved her hand and signaled the two boys they should join us. 

When they approached us, Ana grabbed Linda’s egg cracker, raised it up for display, so they see it, pressed the handle a few times letting out a squeaking sound, and exclaimed “Guys we are going to crack your eggs!”  We all immediately burst into laughter. They had no idea what the metal device was, but let’s be honest its appearance is creepy, so their faces expressed horror and confusion at the same time. Linda saw they became scared and calmed them down. “Don’t worry no man’s eggs are going to be cracked today, I promise”

Despite truthfully treating their genitals (relatively) gently, it was still unnerving to see Linda using the young men’s testicles (both clothed and naked) to demonstrate the versatility of this deadly technique. Gladly she always managed to stop her strong fist right before hitting the delicate target. Has she ever failed once…

One ring 💍 to rule them all!

Maybe I disappoint all Tolkien fans among readers of this blog, but this post is not going to be about the Lord of the Rings masterpiece. It will be about an important and often overlooked aspect when a woman is using her hand for testicle-targeting anti-rape techniques, some of which I already mentioned here and here.

Lock your fingers as you would put
 a padlock on his testicles 

The initial step of these techniques is always to put the attacker’s testicles in a tight lock and secure the grip with her hand so they cannot slip away. This can be effectively done by encircling your thumb and forefinger like you would be making an OK sign as close to the body as possible creating a really tight ring. If you imagine, testicles are formed by a skin sack—scrotum which contains two egg-shaped glans testes. Enclosing the root of the scrotum and the spermatic cords basically separate the testes from the body and they snugly come in the palm of your hand. It’s like putting a padlock on the testicles.

As always, in reality, it is not as easy as it sounds. One of the limiting factors is the size of the woman’s hand, but it also strongly depends on whether the attacker’s testicles hang low or are tightly packed (naturally, because of low temperature or man’s arousal). When the testicles are small, the lock can be applied to the whole scrotum. Quite often because of the circumstances such as a small woman’s hand and/or sizeable testicles, targeting a single testicle should be preferred. In this case, you should use your thumb or the forefinger (depending on the angle of the attack, and whether using your left or right hand) to push it between the testicles to separate them first, and then use the other finger to finalize the deadly ring around the top of the testicle. Choose the testicle hanging lower (usually the left one). In the case, that the attacker has a tight ball sack you have to push both fingers forcefully inside the pubic floor to effectively fish out the testes. Keep in mind that on how successful this first step is, depends the accomplishment of the following actions such as twisting, squeezing, and pulling. So it is important not to rely on just light grabbing.  

Depiction of the locking mechanism
in Susan Smith's book

The initial instinct of a man is to budge and/or to try to pry your hand out of him but once you apply the lock properly his effort is to no avail, any movement on his or your part just increases the pressure and causes a painful tug on his sensitive organ(s). It is imperative not to lose the clutch and with all your might keep the fingers as rigidly fastened as possible. In Susan Smith’s book Fear or Freedom, you can see a very good illustration of the proper application of the locking mechanism.

As you can see it is not a trivial move and Linda was very particular that we understand the principle and practice this thoroughly so we can execute it effectively when desperately needed.  

As I mentioned before Linda sought to relate the principle of the techniques to known things and common activities. When explaining to us this step she asked us “Have you seen milking a cow in real?”  We all shook our heads no. “Aaah, I see, city girls!” Linda smiled. She then played us a video on her tablet depicting milking a cow. A young female farmer was grasping a teat and squeezing milk out into a bucket in quick successive movements.

Grabbing testicles is like milking a cow

Linda commented “Now imagine this teat is the attackers’ testicle. Look how the girl forms the ring up as close to the udder as possible and then pushes down. It is like you want to desperately push the rest of the paste out from a tube. In this case, she squeezes out the milk. Pinching or grabbing just the tip of the teat would not work.”

Obviously, we did not have a cow at disposal in our dojo, but as always fake silicone testicles came in very handy.  Linda held the toy with her left hand on one end and with her right hand, she slowly put the thinner area above the testicles into a lock by forming the OK sign and enclosing her fingers.  “You see these bits now cannot escape regardless of how hard I pull or try to wiggle them out.”  She rotated her hands so we can see it from all angles. She continued “Now, I have them secured in my hand and I can easily crush them to a pulp with the combination of the strength of my palm and the fingers as we did with the two walnuts exercise.”

As always, she wouldn’t let us go without trying out the ‘technique of the day’ on a real set of testicles. And we all were in great anticipation as we knew this is going to be hilarious.  “Are we going to milk our guys?” asked Laura sarcastically. Emma added immediately “If so, we need a basket and an apron.”  

We all burst into laughter including Bob and Peter standing close by, who started to blush cutely.  Linda did not like this kind of pubertal banter in her course. She rolled her eyes like she is over this, but I could see a little smirk on her face “Stop it, this is a serious business.” Obviously, our darling attackers were a little bit hesitant to step in.  So, she stood behind them gently pushed them forward, patted both on their shoulders, and asked them “Gentlemen, will you be so kind as to show us your testicles?...”  

Interview with Linda (part 3)

For the last couple of days, I have been working on the translation of Linda’s interview. In this part, we will learn more about Linda’s principles and philosophy in teaching self defense to young women. It is a very enlightening reading. 

Linda, what do you think makes your course different than the others?

I think you are going to be surprised by the answer. My course is free of charge and is led by a woman, and this makes a whole lot of difference. There are many different courses out there, the dojo owners all brag about how great a job they do, they do not teach any bullshit like the others, they are realistic, simple, etc. However, keep in mind that these are commercial projects with money-making as their prime focus. Women’s actual needs are not on the top of the list of priorities. How a course can be called ‘reality based’ if you use a heavily padded model attacker with restricted movement hardly reacting to any hits.

Karate is a nice martial art but impractical
for female self defense 

The course responsible are often practitioners of martial arts, they always think that just adapting the martial art they are familiar with is enough and can be taught to women.  Although few ‘experts’ would still argue that learning Judo or Karate is sufficient self defense training, this type of thinking unfortunately remains. My system is not based on any martial art, just the research I and my peers have done with a strong focus on simplicity and effectiveness.

In other systems, there is also too much emphasis on basic or first response techniques and very little, if anything, on last resort self defense. This is maybe appropriate when teaching men but is poor when teaching tactical strategies to young women. Female self defense is not a contest but rather a fight for survival in which one of the opponents is limited by a smaller size and weaker strength and this must be taken into account and balanced out. In my opinion, many courses provide just a false sense of security rather than true empowerment which is absolutely needed.

Can you tell us more about why teaching last resort self defense is important?

There is this flawed idea that the scope of a self defense course should not go beyond wrist lock releases, punches to the nose, or elbow to the stomach. It somehow implies telling: “So, the wrist lock release did not work, now expect to be raped, we did not teach you what to do next.” An attacker with his pants down and his genitals exposed is much more vulnerable and defeatable than the moment he just jumped out of bushes doped with adrenaline. A state-of-the-art course should cover all the situations and stages of a sex attack and should focus on techniques and strategies, even a petite girl can do before the worst happens.

Many trainers feel uncomfortable going into more sensitive and touchy subjects. For a male teacher, it might be awkward to talk about his own male parts and how vulnerable they are. For this reason, the best is when a female teaches other females, this way one can also avoid any unwanted sexual backdrops.

Lastly, I often read a very stupid argument that learning self defense is worthless because women are in majority attacked by someone they know. The self defense techniques I teach can be used in different situations and against anybody, including an abusive husband or boyfriend. All men have Adam’s apple and testicles.

Can you explain to the readers what are the main principles of your system?

Deception is an important element 
of last resort self defense

My system is based on simple principles in both learning and execution. If in a sticky situation a woman should follow the ‘4D’ principle which comes in sequence: decision, deterrence, deception, and determination.  The ‘decision’ means to learn to make the right decision at a given moment. For instance, running away can be the best option in some instances. Freezing can be a problem, but I also teach how to overcome this through some mental training.

If immediate escape or alerting the crowd is not possible a woman might decide on deterrence at different levels. Depending on the seriousness of the situation she can use some psychological tools or less serious techniques such as ‘fire quenchers’. A deception should follow if everything failed so far, the aim is to make the attacker off guard and his targets exposed. Using trickery is key in manipulating the attacker to a position he becomes vulnerable and creating a window of opportunity for the execution of a debilitating counterstrike. Momentary cooperating, making him remove his pants, and gently touching his genitals can be a prelude to the most serious no-fail techniques. This should be done with a determination which is an important component when resorting to physical resistance; it has to be done with full force, violently, and without hesitation. 

The aim is to subdue the attacker till he is no threat to you. The attack should be targeted at the three most sensitive targets: his eyes, Adam’s apple, and testicles, the best in a sequence BCD: ‘Blind him, choke him, desex him!’ Sometimes it is necessary to make him pass out. This can be done for instance by stomping sharply between the attacker’s splayed legs so there is no doubt he will stay down, and you can make your way out to safety. This is rarely taught in any other courses.

However, there has been a controversy about how you teach these techniques…

How would one expect women to learn something when they cannot try it out during training? Nobody ever learned a new language just by listening.  So why should we, for instance, teach a lifesaving technique such as GTP just by saying You know, BTW you can also grab his groin? And the only time a would-be victim would execute or at least try it is in the most stressful life-threatening situation. It is then too late to figure out how it is actually done properly. I understand that the readers have some concerns about our male assistants. Pain and occasional embarrassment are a small price they have to pay. There are higher stakes than that for women not provided with the ability to defend themselves.

Once you told us that the female self defense training should involve both psychological and physical aspects. What are the psychological aspects?

The road to mastering the art of self defense starts in the head. Women are naturally non-violent lenient creatures; they do not want to hurt anybody. The psychological component of my training is to change their mindset to find inner aggression and unleash it when needed. I aim to accomplish true female empowerment and to build self-confidence. That’s why I insist any woman should try out the techniques as close to reality as possible, including those that are normally taught just orally such as attacks on testicles. Not only does a woman memorize it well, but she can more easily repeat it when really needed. It leaves a deep imprint in her mind: “I managed to take down a training assistant, I can do it again in real life and it works.” 

But still, I often have difficulties convincing some girls to go full force. I often hear “Linda, but this might permanently maim the attacker! I don’t want to castrate him!” I explain to them, that in this horrible situation they should not worry if they injure him, even if they castrate him. Their goal is to get away from the situation using whatever it takes, even if it means castration.  I tell them “Think for a moment, you are not only saving yourself but potentially any other girl in the future.” I wish the girls leave my course not just as course graduates but as true female warriors.

And what about the physical aspect of self defense?

Some exercises can be done
during other daily activities 

The self defense training is not only about mastering the techniques and getting the appropriate knowledge and skills. It should not end after a lesson or after a course. I always tell my students that staying fit and physically active is not only healthy and for good looks but increases your chances of a successful encounter with a violent dangerous man. I suggest building a dummy out of pillows with attached testicles made from a sock with rubber balls and keep practicing daily at home things that you have learned in the course. 

Doing punches, kicks, knees, gouging eyes, and grabbing testicles regularly increase movement memory and are a good workout improving physical capabilities. Too lazy or tired for a day? Use the time to keep your grip strong by squeezing stress balls or fake testicles while watching Netflix or reading the news. You can also involve your partner in these activities. But be careful with his eyes and testicles, thou.  

I really liked the lectures and theory classes, how important are these?

We had a lot of fun during the classes

I am glad you liked it. Success stories, examples, and videos are another important part of my training; it makes self defense training less abstract and more relatable. Although I aim to rather keep a serious tone, it makes a lot of fun, girls love it. It is not uncommon that girls starting applauding when I read a story from a newspaper about a young girl who sent her attacker to a hospital with a ruptured testicle. A home video or an MMA match of some accidents involving men’s most sensitive parts is sometimes more convincing than 1000 words and helps with overcoming the psychological barriers I talked about before.

I have to say I learned a lot about male anatomy in the course. Can you explain why is it important?

Knowledge of the male anatomy is
 another important element of learning 
self defense

Yes, girls are really surprised by how much emphasis I put on the knowledge of the anatomy of the male body and particularly its most vulnerable spots. “Know your enemy from head to toe!” is another essential principle of my system. Physically but also psychologically. It means not only weak points on his body but also in his mind!  Girls say they learned more on this topic than in their sex-ed and biology classes. They are university freshwomen, not that sexually experienced yet, so it really counts. Most are amazed at how fragile and also variable male genitals are, and they learn what is the significance for self defense. Again, this topic should not be taught only theoretically but practically as well. That is why Bob and Peter and other male assistants come in so handy…

 to be continued….

Zap those balls! ⚡

During the last lockdown we watched with Tom a lot of movies. The selection was quite diverse, Tom likes thrillers and action movies, I rather prefer movies to be romantic or artsy, so we had to alternate styles to satisfy both of us. It somehow happened we stumbled across a movie called ‘Eight legged freaks’ about inhabitants of a small Arizona town terrorized by giant mutated spiders. Rather a B-movie sure, but I admit it was actually a quite entertaining slack, not to mention seeing young Scarlett Johansson before she became famous. In one scene Ashley (played by Johansson) and her boyfriend Bret (played by Matt Czuchry) ended up in a pickup truck in the middle of the Arizona desert. For the horny guy it was apparently a right moment to try to push their relationship to a more intimate sphere. However, Ashley wanted to keep her virginity for a little bit longer and maybe did not see that dirty truck in the dusty desert as a very romantic setting. When the overzealous boy disrespected Ashley’s NO, she took a stun gun from her handbag and zapped his balls. This made a full stop to his unwanted advances. If you haven’t seen the movie, don’t worry I won’t make any more spoilers here.

There is always a risk in disrespecting a girl's NO

Tom and I had completely different reactions to this scene; Tom commented “A hysterical bitch.” I opposed his opinion “No Tom, the boy just got what he deserved. Next time he will be more attentive to the wishes of his girlfriend.”  Tom just shook his head in disagreement but then rather focused on the following action.

These movie scenes are not always a non-realistic fiction and sometimes do provide quite good ideas on different scenarios in female self defense, often not covered by conventional courses. Self defense tools for women’s protection is a broad and interesting topic, and as other aspects of female self defense, are shrouded in many controversies and dangerous misconceptions. You can hear or read a wide range of opinions from “The best thing you can do is to buy a pepper spray, you’ll be safe” to “These stupid gadgets are just to make money and do not work.” We already talked about the pepper spray and the penis as a neglected but highly sensitive target for capsaicin. Today I will discuss the stun gun also called the electroshock weapon.

As I mentioned before, Linda has never been a huge proponent of self defense tools but at the same time she has never disregarded them. She worried they might create a false sense of security and rather emphasized the idea that a girl should always learn the hand-to-hand techniques first and then to complement these skills with a protective tool. We had a couple of sessions where she described the proper usage of some of the common ones: pepper sprays, stun guns, keychains but also protective jewelry. Attacks usually come as a surprise and the tool might be just lying in your handbag or purse when needed. For this reason, when you appear in a risky situation, for instance being in a secluded area, you should firmly hold it in your hand to have it ready for the right moment. Often overlooked and rarely discussed is the applicability of these tools for last resort self defense. Even if a tool got forgotten and left unused initially, it might come in handy at the later stage of the attack. Linda covered this aspect in great depth during one of our training sessions. She brought three different types of stun guns. One was really big and scary looking; the second one was just a right size for a small woman’s hand. But our attention really grabbed the third one which looked like a pink lipstick.

Would you guess the pink lipstick
is actually a small stun gun?

“I would definitely buy this one as it looks super inconspicuous” exclaimed Laura and immediately told us a story. Once one of her friends was talking to a bunch of guys, one of them was her secret crush. She accidentally dropped her handbag, and besides all that common girly stuff – makeups and brushes etc., a pack of condoms, a huge pepper spray and a stun gun fell out. The boy she liked joked “It seems you have prepared a whole arsenal against us.” She told me it was quite an embarrassing moment; she was blushing like hell, but saved the situation by saying “Sometimes I simply have to stimulate guys with these.”

We were all laughing. Linda commented “Yes, professional models, like this black one, are used by police and are much powerful generating several millions of volts. But the lipstick-looking one, when used properly, can be effective as well, especially if used on the most sensitive areas of the attacker’s body. Their discreet appearance and small size are a plus. I do understand a woman feels much more comfortable carrying such a cute gadget rather than a huge weaponry”. She then explained us “The principle of the stun gun is to generate a high voltage which creates an electric arc between two electrodes. The discharge causes the muscles to spasm and a lot of pain. It is a non-lethal weapon, but it leaves two burn marks which also tag the attacker. You should always aim at the most vulnerable areas such as the neck, the armpit or the genitals. The highest effect can be achieved if these points are exposed, but it works through clothing as well.” 

She then surprised us and took out a piezoelectric gas lighter from her backpack “Who wants to try out how does it feel to get zapped?” Linda asked the audience. Ana, as always, boldly volunteered. As instructed by Linda, she put her finger in the nozzle of the lighter. Linda then pressed the trigger and Ana immediately shook her hand and screamed in pain “It f.cking hurts!”

“You see, and this is not even 1000 volts. Now imagine what several million volts can do. Any other volunteers?” No surprise, there were none.

Linda then announced the next activity “OK girls, now let me demonstrate the usage of this stun gun in some common attack scenarios.” She put the middle-sized stun gun in her rocker style black handbag, hung it over the shoulder, and called out Bob and Peter to play out bad guys. For the first scenario, she asked Peter to grab her in a front bear hug. I think both boys loved, but at the same were dead afraid of these very close contacts with Linda. Some hesitation was always apparent.

Linda, in Peter's tight hold, then explained step by step what she was doing “As you can see my movement is restricted by his hands, but I am still able to sneakily put my hand in the handbag to grab my weapon. The most available area in this case is his genitals. It is the target closest to your hand and out of his sight. As soon as she was holding the gun in her hand, she quickly pressed the electrodes into Peter’s prominent bulge. Suddenly a harrowing cracking sound came out! We all got shocked, but you should have seen Peter’s face as he almost jumped out of his skin.

The silence was broken by Laura whispering in awe “Did she just zap his balls?”.  

Linda was just smiling and hugged her ‘attacker’. “Sorry Peter, that was just a sound effect, I defuncted the arc generator.” Despite that affectionate hug, Peter looked at her in anger, but as usual this was his only protest.

Proper use of a stun on exposed testicles.

After a couple of demonstrations of other types of attacks, she moved on to discuss the instances when a stun gun can be used as a last resort self defense tool. As an example, she used the case of forced oral sex. “As always, the key is to deceive him. You can for instance tell him you want to use a condom you have in your purse. This creates a window of opportunity to secretly get hold of your weapon. It is important to never telegraph your intentions, try to keep it out of his sight as much as possible. His naked testicles are an excellent target for the electrocution. The best effect can be accomplished if the electrodes are positioned one at each testicle, so the discharge arc goes all across his genitals. Additionally, if the contact is made at the back of the scrotum, it makes it more difficult for him to budge or to pry it off him. You can even push him to your weapon with the other hand. Once he is stunned, use the opportunity to deliver additional debilitating blows. Do not hesitate to make his balls ache even more. Alternatively, if he has an erection, you might consider directing the electrodes to the exposed head of his penis. Greatly effective in eliminating any dirty sexual desires as well.”

She then turned to the cringing boys, raised her mighty device and triggered that horrible sound effect again “Bob, now it is your turn to help me with the practical demonstration…”