Sunday 6 August 2023

To hull strawberries (part 2) - death pinch 🤏

The tables turned for the guys. While Bob showed signs of relief, Peter became increasingly anxious. Death pinch sounded horrific, yet it sparked our curiosity. We all instinctively surrounded him so he could not ‘escape’ but at the same time, we felt for him. By showing affection and being kind to him we tried to mitigate his worries. Before getting to the real demonstration, Linda fetched a small chair and a thick textbook with the title Human Anatomy from the shelf in the corner of our dojo.

Peter was understandably worried but
we tried to make him comfortable.
When she returned, she waived with the book in front of Susanne. “I guess you know it well, don’t you?” Susanne nodded “Oh yes, I spent long nights with this book. I am so glad I already passed the anatomy exam!”

Linda had a pink sticky note on the page with the male reproductive system. She asked us to come closer to make a circle around her and to have a look at the detailed diagram. She started to explain things that you would normally hear during sex ed classes, not a university self defense course. Nevertheless, it was all extremely interesting and as we found out later quite relevant as well.

“Women consider testicles as some kind of two round marbles in a wrinkly skin pouch, but these organs are actually highly complicated structures. Like strawberries connected with the plant at the back allowing the flow of nutrients and water, testicles have some plumbing attached, ensuring their vital functions and all-way transport of fluids. Sperm is produced within seminiferous tubules packed inside the testes, two oval glands covered with tunica albuginea, a tough fibrous cover that acts like a shell and is not easy to rupture.” She was slowly moving her finger on the diagram to specify all the structures she was referring to.

The testicle is a complicated structure,
the most sensitive part is the epididymis
which can be easily pinched off.
“Immature sperm accumulates in the organ called the epididymis where it matures before it is released during the climax. This organ is a soft bundle of highly innervated tissue attached at one point to the back of each testis. Importantly, it is not covered by tunica albuginea and is possibly a man's most sensitive anatomical part. However, it is relatively small and hidden in the rear so not easy to target…but it is a great pressure point for hand techniques when you gained access to the naked scrotum, for instance during a successful play-along strategy. The severity of the technique used on this part can be adjusted; just light squeezing will stop any unwanted advance of a date or overzealous boyfriend and will teach him a lesson.  A full death pinch will help you to get rid of the most dangerous attackers. Maybe even forever.”

“Why is it called death pinch?” Louise broke the silence and asked innocently.  

Linda replied “Well, it was called like that by my sensei, she learned it during her service in the secret service.  It causes the death of the testicle as it cannot be repaired. It is amazing that even a pinch by a woman can cause such a drastic effect. Besides that, it is so extremely painful it can cause neurogenic shock and death of the attacker.”

You should have seen Peter's face listening to all of this and expecting to have his testicles in Linda’s hand in no time.

“For the execution of a death pinch, you need to learn to locate the structure quickly and efficiently. Let me demonstrate….”

She put the book aside and squatted in front of Peter. “Let’s see what we got.” She pulled Peter's shorts down to his knees to expose the young man's genitals.  It was hot at that time of the year, so Peter’s scrotum was hanging low, his left testicle visibly lower. The quick pull movement caused the whole hairy bag with two eggs and one meaty Frankfurter sausage to swing like a small pendulum. It somehow called for a witty comment, and Ana did not wait any longer. “Peter has got a full package!” Peter got blushing and we all giggled but it was all light-hearted. We all greatly appreciated his bravery.

Linda ordered the poor guy to remove his shorts and briefs completely and put his right leg on the chair, so she could get unobstructed access and we can get a better view of the probed object.

For training, the back of the testicles
should be probed gently like an expensive fabric. 
“Let me show you something first.” Linda gently put her hand on his inner thigh and moved it slowly up toward his genitals. Suddenly, the skin of the scrotum shrunk so the testicles bounced up, and after a short time, they went slowly down gain. Like a small yoyo! It was so funny, it looked like the testicles got scared of Linda's hand and tried to get away from her! This caused another wave of laughter.

Susanne, even without asking, explained that what we just witnessed was a cremasteric reflex. “It is the autonomous response of the nervous system, triggered by potential danger, in this case, Linda’s hand, by retracting testicles close to the body to protect them. Usually of no avail!” She sounded very sarcastic with the last comment. 

Linda smiled and nodded in agreement. She turned to Peter and looked into his eyes, “Don’t worry Peter there is no danger to your testicles, there will be just a small discomfort.” She then immediately put the fingers of her right hand behind his sac and flipped them quickly a few times like she was writing on a keyboard, so the fingertips tapped the back of the testicles resulting in Peter’s scrotum rippling. It was a gentle movement but still triggered a significant reaction. Peter bent over and released a loud uff. He pulled his leg from the chair, covered his crotch, and reproachfully looked at Linda.

She did not care. “You see, just a mild tap on that area can shoot a significant pain signal in his brain.” Then, without giving him much recovery time, she pointed with her finger at the chair as a sign he had to put his leg back and get ready for the demonstration. Although hesitatingly, he did, and she continue with her demonstration.

“Ok, let's find that magic pain button. Watch closely.” She gently took his left testicle in one hand and clutched her thumb and pointer finger of the other hand at the backside.

Locate the cord first and then move down
to find the head of the epididymis.
“To locate the epididymis, you start gently feeling the spermatic cord at the root of the testicle.” She gently rubbed the area where the testicle attaches to the body. Like this, she raised her hand and showed a mild gesture, like you would probe an expensive fabric.  

“The spermatic cord consists of nerves, blood vessels, and the vas deferens and is quite easily palpable. Once you are sure you have it, move your fingers down and it will lead you to the head of the epididymis. You will notice some kind of bump of a different texture on the top of the testis. This is the head of the epididymis.  Probe it with your fingers along its whole length so you get an idea of how it feels.” 

I noticed Peter’s body was shivering a bit and there were goosebumps on the skin of his thighs.

She suddenly changed the tone from deadly serious to playful. “Of the note girls, I read that based on the firmness of the structure you can tell if the guy ejaculated recently.” She then looked again deep into Peter's eyes. “Well, based on what I feel, I suspect your girlfriend neglects her duty.”

“We can take care of it later, right?” Rebeca nudge me with her elbow and winked at me.

Linda did not notice her comment and went on with the demonstration.

“Once you located it, you can test the sensitivity of this pain generator by squeezing it lightly. I emphasize just lightly!” The moment she said that Peter’s body suddenly spasmed and released another uff. 

Linda commented, “It is very sensitive as you can see.”

“Now to the real technique. It starts with fixating a testicle with one hand, like this.”  She encircled the testicle with her fingers, so it got completely entrapped and bulging at the back. “Once you have it securely trapped, use the thumb and pointer fingernails of your other hand to claw the structure, like a crab. It must be violent, and the nails have to be hooked and sunk deep into the tissue in the grove between the epididymis and the testis. Then add the squeezing, twisting, and ripping motion like you would remove the stem from the strawberry. Basically, you dehulled his testis and disconnect it from the main body. There is no way it can be recovered and will have to be removed. The pain completely immobilizes him and it lingers for a long time.”

The whole metaphoric expression sounded weird but at the same time spot on. Suddenly we understood why Linda brought the strawberries and let us remove stems with our fingernails at the beginning of the class. Just that we get the idea.

Emma broke the long silence. “Fuuu! That sounds horrific!” She put her head affectionately on Peter’s shoulder. “Don’t worry Peter for good guys like you it shall never happen.”

Linda surprisingly opposed that statement “Well, some attackers might look like nice and attractive guys first. Don’t get fooled easily, always be vigilant, and do not hold back when fighting.”   

 The tension on Peter's face eased only when Linda let his testicles hang freely again and she got on her feet.  

Linda clapped her hands. “Time for practice girls! Let’s go one by one, but again it is a delicate thing,  I warn you. The purpose of this exercise is to familiarize yourself with the structure and be able to find it quickly.  You are allowed to squeeze it just lightly to confirm you found the right spot. So please no dehulling.”  We all got the idea that we must be extremely careful with this one. I could not wait for m turns. Rebeca was quite impatient “Can we also get Bob for this training? You know just to try on different testicles.” She wrapped her arm around Bob's shoulder as some kind of friendly gesture. Her request was made in such a demanding tone that was hard to reject.

“Sure,” Linda nodded, “just get another chair.” I could hear a joyful yes!