Never leave a job unfinished 🏁(part 1)

As I mentioned, using Bob and Peter as our ‘darling attackers’ gave us a valuable opportunity to evaluate acquired skills and observe how the male body naturally responds to various self-defense moves. This experience not only boosted our confidence but also offered insights into how to swiftly adapt to and control the situation amid strikes, which are often delivered in rapid, hard-to-counter sequences.

It was funny to see how anxious those two young men were about their susceptible source of masculinity, flinching at the slightest threat. Most revealing was that, even after a mild contact on their wrinkly little bag of pain, they always reacted quite tellingly: freezing briefly, crying out loudly, that it hurt terribly, or singing at a high pitch while frantically hopping around, as if trying to shake off the pain.  These scenes were already quite amusing, but when our hits landed with good precision and enough power, their reaction became even more dramatic: dropping to the floor like a sack of potatoes, then instantly writhing like a worm just pulled from the ground with very intense vocal expressiveness.  We obviously felt sympathy for them, but even though it might sound cruel, their testicular discomfort served an important purpose. Linda directed us to observe closely and take notes because it was an essential part of our training.

Common pose of a man after a successful testicle strike  

It wasn't difficult to notice that they frequently adopted a peculiar position—on all four, hunched over with knees on the ground, legs slightly apart, and hands covering the crotch, to guard or perhaps to check if their precious jewels between the legs were still there. Linda explained to us that the double-up effect is a natural reflex caused by sudden, strong stimulation of the vagus nerve. The referred abdominal pain and nausea make it impossible to stand upright, prompting them to adopt a more comfortable position to ease the initial shock and radiating pain. She even had a fitting term for it: ‘playing a startled bullfrog.' It indeed resembles a famous yoga pose, but something else is important. Usually, knocking a guy to the ground after a successful testicle shot means a decisive victory, allowing the victim to just fix her hair, walk away, and call for help (or an ambulance for him); however, Linda emphasized that it is always better to finish the job. Even if the attacker is in severe pain and temporarily incapacitated, the threat might still remain, as the attacker could recover and go after you due to anger and pumped-up adrenaline. Additionally, the primary goal is not only to ensure your safe escape but also to effectively stop the rapist from continuing his sex crime career. That's why one of Linda's mottos was exactly the title of this post: ‘Never leave a job unfinished’. She demonstrated a variety of finishing techniques applicable to different positions and situations. I have already mentioned the power of stomping or ‘mashing the potatoes’ of a lying attacker. So, what should be done about the guy in the mentioned bullfrog pose?

Kick won't transform a bullfrog into a prince.

During one class, Laura's perfect knee strike turned Bob into a little blond Frog Prince, giving Linda a chance to demonstrate one of her most lethal finishing moves in real. “Come closer and take a look...” she called out as she squatted beside him, leaning over and pressing her left hand against his back to keep him steady. With her other hand, she gently moved around his buttocks and between his thighs to pinpoint the area. “As you can see, Bob’s partly defensive position also unintentionally exposes part of the back of his scrotum. The most sensitive spot is actually quite exposed, almost inviting exploitation.” She pulled the fabric of his shorts, revealing that the bulge consisted of two orbs peeking out just below his bubble butt, completely unprotected. She gently tapped the bulge to demonstrate how sensitive the soft tissue is. Bob sighed quietly, not from pain but rather from surprise.

Linda stood up to continue her demonstration. “One of the deadliest approaches here is the free kick, like in football. He is down, you are already standing, and want to flee, but you should still bid farewell to his testicles. With the kick, visualize sending one of his balls all across the room. The striking point is the toe box of your shoe or the tips of your toes. Get quickly into the right distance, not too close, not too far, something like this… Position your leg between his legs, step back, arch your dominant leg for maximum momentum, then kick with full power, pointing the striking area forward. In this case, don't go up but go through instead, visualizing the target much further ahead.” She mimicked the full kick to show the mechanism, but luckily for Bob, at the end, she rapidly decelerated her foot and made only slight contact with the bulge with the tip of her sneaker. It was as if she probed the fragile tissue to test its liveliness. And based on Bob's reaction, clearly it was! “And now you want to kiss the prince again…” She repeated the whole sequence, from arching the leg to close contact. Bob had a poor view of what was happening and knew that if she had not stopped the foot at the right time before impact, his manhood and future reproduction would be over, forever. Linda explained further explained unapologetically, “One resolute kick is normally enough. When possible, it's best to do it as many times as possible, with the intention of completely disabling what's inside the bag. Even if he futilely tries to cover it with his hands or close his thighs, it is of no avail, as the tip of your shoe has very strong penetrating power and is pointy enough to reach the target.”

Cute white sneakers can be a formidable weapon 

“OK, let's have a little practice. Warning! Be super careful, you stop for just a little poke at the end, you don’t want to hurt Bob, don’t you?” Linda looked down with a smile at the little handsome poor Prince Frog, whose angry yet surrendering face looked back at her. She then turned to Peter, who was standing to the side and, until now, had been a lucky observer. Just Linda's commanding look was enough; no words were needed. He knew he couldn't escape being part of our training, so without protest, he joined Bob and got on all fours to serve as a second darling attacker and a test bullfrog specimen…

Girls kicking ball(s) ⚽⚽

With the World Cup almost finished, I couldn't resist making a new post, but it won't be about any results. Firstly, I apologize to all fans, but I find football or soccer (if you're reading from “across the pond") relatively dull. Most of the time, I can barely suppress a giggle when the players spend more time diving and simulating than actually playing. Hard to understand why they earn millions for it. Tom, like all his friends, is a huge football fan, and though I don't share his passion, I agreed to watch some matches with him on the condition that I get to pick the next program.

At one point, a player was rolling on the ground after a rough tackle, obviously hit “where it counts”, and showing his discomfort to the whole world. Somehow, I couldn’t help but comment, “Look at that poor boy. I hope those wimps are wearing a cup.” Obviously, this remark upset Tom. He glared at me and shot back, "You got this bullshit from that bitch Linda, didn’t you?" I just grinned at him but refrained from any further sarcastic remarks. Nevertheless, it reminded me of one of the hilarious stories Linda had told us during the self-defense course. To cheer things up, she often shared humorous (or morale-boosting) stories in her teaching. Once, she recounted an amusing incident that was very enlightening, as we were right in the middle of learning proper kicking techniques.

Kicking ball(s) can be fun 

As I already told you, she was a coach for the sport department's female football team. One day, the male team's coach was absent, so Linda took over his duties. She decided to organize a friendly mixed-gender match. You can imagine the cringe among the male team. The announcement drew wide, ironic smiles and chuckles from the cocky young lads, who likely considered the match an unnecessary farce and confidently looked forward to an easy victory. However, as you might guess, things turned out differently…and their testosterone-pumped egos and…other fragile man thingies were quickly deflated.

Linda not only taught her female players how to properly strike a ball, but also…balls!😋 Why restrict themselves to kicking just the big one when you can kick two little ones, too? And yes, Linda told us that footballers normally don’t wear a cup, which can be a blessing or not, depending for whom. That’s why you can see anxious players covering their crotch during a free kick. To protect what is their most precious, yet very vulnerable.

Their tactic was clear: to weaken their male physical dominance, equalize the natural differences, create disruption, and score as much as possible!  Even a light contact on the right spot can do the job. And the ladies even knew how to make it look like an accident or to keep it extremely inconspicuous. Normally illegal, but these intentional mishaps can easily be mistaken for a foot missing the “right ball”, swinging the hand back to keep balance, or just poor aim when the free-kicked ball flies to the sensitive spot, regardless of the hand-made protection. Amid the game's commotion, it's hard to spot these, yet the results are absolutely formidable. Sometimes, even no actual physical contact is necessary. Just a quick movement around that sensitive area with a hand or a leg is enough to trigger the protective reflex and distraction, giving the needed advantage.

According to Linda, the game soon turned into a hilarious show. Instead of presenting elegant passing, attacking, and scoring many goals, boys have been almost constantly rolling on the ground, whimpering in pain, and getting frustrated and angry. The girls enjoyed the “ball play” they created, having even more fun mocking the poor boys in agony and even acting like “concerned paramedics” rushing to assess the damage to the anguished men's packages. Fake apologies have not eased the pain either.

 It hurts a lot

The guys assertively protested to Linda, who took on the role of referee for the match. However, their complaints had absolutely no effect. Of course, “she hadn't seen a thing” and completely overlooked her trainees' foul play, instead blaming the guys for the simulation and making excuses for their failure to keep the lead.

At the end, the match ended in a draw, 3:3 or something, still a pathetic score for such a promising elite team. The embarrassed stayed with the ego-defeated team, limping into the showers, while the victorious ladies playfully teased their opponents. “If you want, we can come over and make sure everything down there is still functioning." Apparently, the male team's coach later complained to Linda, but she shrugged it off. “Next time, have them wear cups! And teach them not to make a drama out of a little friendly match.” It was a good, humbling lesson for them, don't you think?

"I taught the girls well," Linda finished the story, sounding proud but also a bit mischievous. And what is the moral of the story? A win over, even most fit young men do not need to rely on strength, and girls are fully capable of properly handling any ball(s). When teaching kicking and kneeing, Linda used a football and the principles and mechanics of the game movements, but that will be for another post… 

To the last drop - inspirational story #8

Sorry for not responding to your comments and not posting. I have been quite busy lately, but I hope to get back to blogging soon. Recently, I found a couple of very interesting emails in my inbox. Today, I want to share a truly extraordinary, inspiring story:

Dear Wendy,

My name is Patricia. I found your blog while searching for an explanation of a weird, unexpected effect from one of the self-defense techniques I had to use, unfortunately. It happened two years ago during my senior year of high school when we went on a skiing trip. Imagine a bunch of rebellious teenagers away from school, free from strict teachers and overprotective parents. We took advantage of it and secretly drank late at night and, of course, occasionally engaged in some casual sex. At that time, I had just broken up with my boyfriend and was eager to find a replacement. There was this very attractive guy who clearly had a crush on me—his name was Lucas. One evening, after a small party, he approached me and invited me to his room to watch a movie on his laptop. He was tall, lean, with dark hair, and very confident, which impressed me a lot. 

Always be prepared to react to an unwanted situation

The movie was really bad, so we ended up cuddling. At some point, things got serious, and he got on top of me with obvious intention. I would definitely have had sex with him, but I realized we had run out of condoms. At that time, I was absolutely terrified of an unwanted pregnancy. My pleas were ignored, and he kept forcing himself on me, kissing me and grabbing my breasts. It really hurt. I told him we should delay until we buy more condoms. I struggled to push him away, but he didn’t stop, just grew more aggressive. I tried to shove him off and slapped his face, but his strength overpowered me. This made me really scared... but also decisive.

Squeeze the lemon to the last drop 

Out of the blue, I remembered a safety seminar that girls from our class recently attended (not even close to Linda's, but it turned out to be useful) and the action we should take in such situations. I calmed myself and recalled all the words of our female instructor. First, I  started petting his butt and slowly moved my hand toward his genitals. I slipped my hand into his pants and briefs and continued stimulating him. I tried not to telegraph my real intention, pretending to do him good. My ruse worked! He got excited, breathing ecstatically. My heart was pounding. I took my time finding and gently grasped his left testicle, securely locking it with my thumb and forefinger. It wasn’t difficult as his scrotum sac was still relatively relaxed, and it was not too big, so it fit snugly into my hand. Once the grasp was applied, without hesitation… bam…I started ruthlessly squeezing the soft oval thing like hell. There was not much room for twisting or pulling—only for crushing the organ with all my fingers and the palm of my hand.  Exactly like our instructor said:  Imagine squeezing the last drop of juice from a lemon. A shock jolted his body. He rolled his eyes and immediately shrieked loudly, desperately trying to escape my grasp. It was now mine, and I was not going to give up.

During the course, we practiced the different techniques on two squash balls in a pouch, but the real feeling was a bit different. With increased pressure, I could really feel the gland distortion, but definitely not a rupture. It all took tens of seconds until he was completely overwhelmed and just weakly whining and cursing. I was about to let go, but suddenly I felt my hand covered in something sticky and warm. I cringed when I realized it was actually cum! And a lot of it.  It was strange because he was clearly not hard. I headed immediately to the bathroom to wash it off. When I returned to check on him, he was still there in pain, whimpering, possibly regretting his bad decision. I simply left the room without telling anyone. He did not attend the skiing exercise the next day, and the following days, I avoided him completely. I was glad I defended myself, but there were those mixed feelings of remorse and empowerment. My intention was not to harm him or injure him. I just wanted to get away and avoid pregnancy, and in the end, I gladly managed.

Involuntary ejaculation can be triggered by squeezing.

My point is, I was somehow puzzled by the fact that he released semen in such a situation. Initially, I was scared that I had destroyed something there. The whole organ and its plumbing seemed so fragile and squishy, but I could not find any explanation online for something like this normally happening. I don't think it was pushing the testicle content out, like literally, squeezing the lemon juice. My guess is that it has something to do with a reflex triggered by pressure inside the testicle. Has Linda ever mentioned that to you? Not that it should, by any means, prevent us from using this powerful and effective technique to get out of a sticky situation. Since that incident, I have advised all my besties to take a self-defense class. They were amazed but also grossed out by my story. Some questioned its truth. I jokingly ask them, "So you want to see his ball as evidence?" I really hope, Wendy, you keep doing a great job with your blog, raising awareness of this uncomfortable topic, and that more women will speak out about similar experiences and successes.

Hi Patricia, thank you so much for sharing your inspiring story. Kudos to you for handling this situation appropriately and setting an example for other women. The phenomenon you describe is, indeed, what Linda discussed with us. What you encountered is apparently an involuntary ejaculation reflex that occurs when certain sensitive areas of the male body are forcibly compressed or pulled. It can happen without an erection and orgasm. I know weird, but generally, it is rather rare. But it shows the peculiarity of the man's body 😉.  As you correctly stated, this should not deter any woman from applying the effective techniques. I will cover this topic more in-depth in the future. Thanks again Patricia.  

Distraction and deception! 😲 (part 2)

 While the two boys were given some time out to recover on the bench in the rear of the dojo, Linda now quietly told us about the following activity: 

“With this little game, I want to test your ability to apply the principles of distraction and deception. You split into two teams, each with one boy. The goal is to execute as many shots to the testicles as possible, each being a different technique. The team with the most scored successful hits wins. Look, there is a nice prize waiting for the winning team,” she pointed at the luxury chocolate bar, placed on the table next to the entrance.

It was not difficult to plan our strategy

“Remember, this isn’t about brute force, but about using your wits and acting quickly and decisively. Just be responsible—no full-force strikes or going overboard, as you rascals often do. I don’t want to see anyone get hurt.” Linda looked at us with a stern expression so we would understand she meant it and continued, “So, Susanne, Ana, and Wendy will form one team, and Tania, Emma, and Rebeca will form the other one. Now, move to opposite corners of the dojo. I give you five minutes to plan your strategy, but don't overthink it! In real, often tense situations, you should be able to adapt and improvise. The game begins as soon as your assigned boy joins you. Is it clear?” We all nodded to her explanation of the rules.  

Once the three of us moved to our designated spot, we drafted our tactics quite quickly. We unanimously agreed that the safest approach is to play on the young man's ego, his sexual drives, including visual erotic stimuli, and his inability to multitask, and finally to act out of his sight. We anticipated that not everything would go as intended, so some quick and creative adjustments might be necessary.

After five minutes, she called the two poor, unsuspecting guys. They reluctantly put down their smartphones and got to their feet, still a bit limping from Linda’s harsh treatment. She told them to join one of the teams in the corners of the dojo to help the ladies with some workout exercises, and that the instructions would be given directly by them, as she just needed to fill out some forms right away.

I was glad we got Bob. I got the impression that he was a bit naïve and more gullible than Peter, making him a perfect subject to apply our skills and eventually win this little competition. Once he joined us, he looked at us inquiringly. Susanne explained to him that Linda just wanted him to show us some push-ups and sit-ups because, as always, she is continuously dissatisfied with our fitness. And that we need a good trainer.

Using visual erotic stimuli helped us
to get Bob where we wanted

“You have been working out hard lately, haven’t you?” Ana took the floor and complimented Bob’s physique as her hand slowly slipped under his T-shirt to reach bare skin, gently probing the well-shaped young man's torso. At the same time, we all assumed inconspicuous strategic positions around him.

“It is better to demonstrate the exercises bare-chested, don’t you think? Don’t be shy, young man,  show us your nice pecs and six-pack,” Ana lured him.

“And in return we show you something too...," I added, lifting my sports bra slightly so that only the bottom of my breasts was visible, giving him a brief glimpse but no more.

Playing on his male pride as well as the prospects of some ‘tit sighting’, convinced him in no time. He started taking his T-shirt off.  The moment it cuffed his hands and blocked his vision, we unleashed our deadly sequence!

I stood in front of him, which allowed me to strike him between his strong thighs with a knee immediately. I measured the force just right to make contact with the squishy package and make him feel it, but not crippling him. The betrayed boy cursed badly, immediately pulled his T-shirt back, and covered his crotch, staring at me with a mix of anguish and anger.

Our trickery worked, making Bob vulnerable

Suddenly, a loud cry of pain came from the other corner. It was Peter's testicles being busted this time by the opposing team. Confused, Bob instinctively looked in that direction. Ana took advantage of his momentary distraction and quickly pantsed him! She managed to pull both the shorts and boxers swiftly down to his knees, exposing his genitals. We had already seen him completely naked before, but his natural instinct was to pull his garments back up. This required a bit of bending and squatting, inevitably exposing the back of his scrotum, which Ana used as a convenient target, jabbing it with a sharp finger beak. The move is more of an attention-getter than a dangerous technique, but it still makes a strong statement.

He swung his hands back to protect his sensitive asset from any further attack, which, however, exposed his still naked, freely dangling testicles to a frontal strike from me. I swiftly kick-scooped the little bag containing fragile jewels with my toes, which made a funny slapping sound. He was clearly in pain and discomfort, but as he started to realize what was happening, he regained his composure, leaned against the wall, and cupped his anguished groin with his hands to guard it from any further surprise beating.

Susanne stepped in. “Stop it! Enough…you could have hurt him, fools!”

She then stood next to him, gently caressed his blond curly hair, and looked deeply into his blue eyes with the sympathy of a young medic. Yet, I believe some mischief was also evident in her expression, but luckily, that was the signal he could not decode. 

"May I check?" Susanne whispered into his ear, but actually did not expect any answer. She was very believable, and given her more reasonable and responsible character, Bob did not protest at all. Her hand went expertly under his gym shorts with the intention of checking for any palpable signs of testicular trauma.

A sharp, heart-wrenching yelp of pain broke the idyll.  

“And squeeze!” Susanne exclaimed with satisfaction. The time she spent squeezing the soft, juicy lemon was clearly longer than necessary, clearly enjoying the moment of accomplishment before letting go.

Bob was now on the floor, wriggling uncontrollably like a disturbed worm, nothing like the fit and confident lad he had been just a moment before. What was more hurtful, the hard and skilled squeeze of Susanne, or being so stupidly deceived and tricked? Bob was looking up at us with despair and contempt, like a dog that had lost faith in its owner. And we all looked down on him with malicious thoughts, thinking the game wasn't over yet, and pondering how to use the remaining many other testicle techniques.

Luckily for the boys, they were saved by the bell. Suddenly, we heard a loud order, “Ladies, time's up!”  Linda stood in the center of the dojo and made a cross with her hands, symbolizing the end of the exercise and the boys' ordeal.

An explosion of giggles, cheerful high fives, and joyful celebration erupted. Ana immediately asked the other team. “How many?”

“Three! Punch, knee, and an expert TK-chop!” replied Emma.

“We got four! Knee, beak jab, scoop kick, and squeeze! And all landed well,” she pointed at defeated Bob and raised her hand in a victory pose. “We won!"

We enjoyed the sweet prize for the winning team 

Both teams rejoined, and with great zeal, shared their tricks and successes, forgetting completely about the two young guys left behind on the floor, still in a fetal position, anxiously protecting their sensitive parts, absolutely determined not to fall for any more dirty tricks. I felt a little sorry for them. Not only were their testicles aching, but their ego was also severely bruised from being outsmarted by their female teammates so easily.

Linda, listening to us brag about our smarts, was again visibly pleased that we had understood the concept correctly and performed well on the assignment. Deception and distraction are indeed powerful psychological tools of self-defense for women, especially when combined with the vulnerability of testicles. Not only did I really like that she taught us such important lessons, but we also had some fun along the way.  The chocolate was great BTW… 

Learning through drawing – diversity of male anatomy (part 1)

This summer was extremely hot, and with Tom, we decided to cool off at a local lake. The place is usually very crowded, but we found a calmer, shaded place. While Tom was having a nap, I got bored reading a book and started to look at the people walking by and bathing. It was fascinating to see different people and their body types, and in men, bulges with visibly varying content. It immediately reminded me of one memorable class with Linda that really stuck in my mind—a hilarious lesson on male anatomy and, believe it or not, visual art…

Linda always managed to surprise us
with some bizarre tasks.  

After some intense exercise and practicing kicking, Linda called her sweaty and gasping girl squad "You did well today," then gave us unexpected homework: "I want you to draw your boyfriend's" genitals, both testicles and penis, in a relaxed and erect state on an A4 sheet, aiming for true depiction and detail, and bring your creation to the next class." There was a brief moment of complete silence. We looked at each other with a mix of awe and confusion, finding it extremely odd, having difficulties seeing any connection to self defense training. Then I heard some chuckles and even a weak "What?!" and  "No way!"

Yet, as we have learned many times before, Linda's bizarre demands and exercises often made sense in the end, and protesting would be futile anyway. Tania, obviously without a boyfriend, was asked to draw a random naked man she could find online. Although we were initially a bit baffled, we all left the dojo motivated to do our best to accomplish the task. Walking down the street after saying bye to my classmates, I realized how fascinating and revealing this psychological experiment might be.  

A secret snapshot of Tom's morning wood enabled
me to get the image of his aroused genitals.  

It wasn’t as easy as it first seemed; the problem was not that we were not a bunch of Picassos, sure, we could all do some simple sketch from memory, but getting the exact proportions and appearance was almost impossible without having real genitals in front of us, staying still as a model. We often handle them during intimate activities, but neither measure nor conduct detailed anatomical studies on them. Ideally, we could simply ask our guys to pose for us, letting us take time to do it properly. But who would be willing to reveal the real purpose of this highly unusual activity, with a sole focus on the external reproductive system instead of his Greek statue-type torso?  Then I also realized that the truthfulness of the depictions could be highly questionable. I suspected that some girls would like to show off and consciously or maybe unconsciously exaggerate the real size of their partner's manhood.  Who would not want to have a hung man and take pride in it, even if it means strutting in borrowed plumes? On the other hand, it is understandable that none of us wants to be embarrassed by having a sex partner with a pathetically tiny penis.

I was deeply worried about possible Tom's inquiries, why I was doing this, and whether it had anything to do with that “weird” self defense course. Rumors about Linda's unconventional pedagogical and training methods were spreading throughout the university. I wanted to protect his sensitive, innocent soul from such cringe, but at the same time, I was determined to complete the assignment responsibly, regardless of its peculiarity. Ultimately, I decided on a sneaky approach: to use my phone to secretly take a quick snapshot of him when he was leaving the shower—that would be for the flaccid state. In the morning, before waking up, he almost always gets morning wood. By gently removing his pajamas, it was the perfect time for another unsuspected snapshot to capture the changes in his aroused state. This allowed me to take time when he was not home to study all his anatomical features and reproduce his private parts into a drawing. I admit, my artistic skills are limited, so I inevitably produced a huge pile of crumpled paper rubbish. I tore the unsuccessful attempts into small pieces and threw them into the garbage outside so Tom would not find them.

Artistic drawing is not easy,
but in the end, I was satisfied. 

Once I was done, not to lie, I was quite proud of my work. I couldn’t wait any longer for the next class, not only to see other girls' creations and what kind of man’s equipment they reproduced, but also to understand the purpose of the whole thing. On the day of the class, I found myself rushing to the dojo as if I had never done before, having carefully folded the precious art piece and hidden it well in my handbag. My heart was pounding with great suspense.

Exactly as I suspected, just entering the dojo suggested that this class was going to be fun. Some girls couldn't control themselves and, before receiving any instructions, proudly showed their intrigued peers their artwork, peppering it with funny stories about how they managed to capture visuals of their darlings’ jewels and what kind of tricks they had to invent, which caused a lot of frantic giggling and some highly ungirly remarks. I do not blame them; none of us wanted to fail Linda's assignment. We noticed Bob and Peter did not come, so that somehow indicated that the things we were going to learn were not for their innocent ears or eyes, which only added to our excitement to the point that we did not notice Linda had just arrived. Hearing the loud chatter and vim, she did not let us wait long; this time, she even skipped the regular warm-up exercise, which was quite unusual.

“I see you are quite impatient. So let's check how you managed your assignment,” Linda asked us to sit down in a semicircle around her on the mat, and we did so quickly, filled with anticipation. She then gave instructions for the next activity. “I want each of you to go one by one, show the other girls your drawing, and then describe your partner's male organs in words. You can, for example, compare them to various fruits or other everyday objects if that helps. Comment on shape, size, skin, pubic hair, and other important features.”

We had a lot of fun showing
our creations to our classmates.

It was great that Ana was the first to present, since she's naturally outgoing and not too shy. Without hesitation, she confidently held up the sheet for us to see her boyfriend's genitals, using her finger to point out the parts she was discussing, just like a teacher addressing her class.

 “Well, as you see, these are my boyfriend's testicles and penis. I call his testicles bolas because they are perfectly round balls that usually hang really low, swinging vigorously like two pendulums. You obviously can't see it here, but even a small flick causes great discomfort, which I often shamelessly take advantage of.”

After these words, we all burst into laughter, but Ana continued, “They like to move up and down depending on the temperature and the intensity of my petting. His penis is like... let's say, a cucumber, I mean, when relaxed and unused like a typical pickle, but it can elongate to become long and thick, like those used in salads,” she proudly pointed at the drawn erect penis.

“They are actually called English cucumbers,” interrupted Susanne, eager to show off her culinary knowledge.

“Does it also taste sour?!” Laura's unexpected inquiry made us laugh again.

“No, at all, it is very succulent and delicious,” replied Ana with all seriousness.

Artistic representation of
Tom's erect penis 

 It sounded like a pubertal locker room banter we used to have in high school, but Linda let us have some fun and did not interrupt the ongoing cheerful chat. At the end of her talk, she praised Ana for her drawing and vivid description. The details she managed to capture were excellent; she depicted the deep crevices on the relaxed scrotum, long prepuce protruding from the penis end, and she made a great effort to illustrate a lot of long curly pubic hair covering the whole area.  

Now, when the ice was broken, the other girls enthusiastically followed her path, and we all fought to give the best presentation of our better halves' most precious body parts, intermitted with some more or less inappropriate remarks.  Some of us are naturally shyer than others, and expressing ourselves in such a tense situation was not always easy. Luckily, Linda managed to create a nonjudgmental, lively atmosphere. When the talking stalled and we groped to find the right words, she encouraged the audience to ask concrete questions, such as the estimated penis's length, girth, or volume of the testes. 

There were some memorable moments, such as when Laura was honest about the size of her boyfriend's penis in the flaccid state and called it a fat earthworm. Or when Tania presented a drawing of a male pornstar with a huge penis, which was circumcised—none of our boys are. The unusual curvature of Rebeca’s boyfriend's penis also drew a lot of attention, as well as an unusually tight scrotal sac. Susanne, as always, was very precise and used the correct medical terminology as much as possible; sometimes, we had no clue what she was talking about.  Some presented privates were clean-shaven, some bushy, some penises were truly on the shorter side… but we were absolutely not judgmental.

To be honest, most presented flaccid penises
were of the shape and size of a small pickle

I admit, I was very nervous when it was my turn, but I think it went quite well in the end. I described Tom's testicles as of normal size, resembling two ripe figs just fitting into my hand, and his penis, which does not impress at first sight, but when it gets aroused, it becomes a fat sausage, revealing a cute red strawberry-like glans. Listeners noticed the thick vein running along the penis shaft, which I managed to detail well. Don’t want to sound too self-appreciative, but I was also happy I got appraised for my artistic outcome, maybe not the best, but memorable for sure😉.

After we finished the round, Linda expressed her satisfaction with the well-played-out first exercise stage. “Now tell me. What have you noticed?” she asked us.

“Oh, we are actually very talented artists!” exclaimed Emma naively.

“No doubt about it”, Linda nodded, with a bit of an ironic tone and a smile on her face. “And what else?“

“Our boyfriends are all well-equipped real men!” Laura rushed to a somewhat dubious conclusion, possibly knowing this was not what Linda expected, but trying anyway.  

 Clearly not getting the right answer, Linda grinned and repeated, “Do not want to argue on that, I leave the judgment to you, but what else?”

“There is a high variability among the male genitals, in type, size, volume, how low they naturally hang, and how they react to arousal…even though the sample size was just six.” Finally, rational Susanne understood Linda's direction and answered correctly.

 “Exactly!” Linda agreed. The natural diversity of male reproductive organs in many aspects, not only shape and size, is remarkable, which has very important implications for self defense, more than you ever thought. You might choose a boyfriend and his genitals, but not your attacker. The knowledge of male anatomy and its variables and utilizing it to your advantage is one of the essential elements of my system, but it also involves a significant change in a woman's mindset.” Linda said in an almost preaching voice.

Our guru then announced the continuation of the exercise. “Now, put all the drawings in this box, and each of you draws one piece. Then imagine it as an attacker's genitals in front of you. Explain to your peers which technique you would choose and why it would be the most effective for the given type of organs.”

An awkward moment of silence followed.  We knew it was going to be a weird class, but like this? OK, one thing is to show some naughty drawings, and the other one is to listen to how your friends would batter our loving partner's precious sex organs. These were not just some anonymous imaginative drawings of some bad guys' junk, but our lovelings.

“Ana, again, you go first,” ordered Linda. Ana, this time, more hesitatingly drew a first paper and tried her best to explain the details of how she would injure Emma's boyfriend's testicles as well as his penis.

Linda often exhausted us not only
physically but emotionally as well

Now on, we all had to listen to gut-wrenching explanations of snapping penises to induce penile fracture, testicle twisting to induce torsions, and flattening the glands to mushy nothing. We got the opportunity to show all the knowledge of the most destructive techniques we learned from Linda, including the vivid descriptions of exposed penis heads being pepper-sprayed or bitten off completely  The saggy testicles were pulled till the cords inside snapped; tight testicles were punched in an upward motion to crush them against the hard pelvic floor.  Ironically, a long penis and sizable, low-hanging testicles were no longer a sign of male pride but rather a fatal weakness and a disadvantage for the owner.

This was an emotional rollercoaster. Instead of shooting  some funny remarks, we naturally became defensive and even shouted things like “Do it to your boyfriend's junk!” I also almost went nuts when I heard Rebeca saying that Tom's testicles would be ideal for a ‘handmade’ fig jam and that his cute little soft, strawberry-like penis head she would ruthlessly pinch with her long nails till separated from the stem. I looked at her with depreciation and hoped to get a chance to ‘return the favor’, which I luckily got.

I think we all felt relieved when it was over. Linda, while showing an expression of mixed irony and satisfaction, let us digest the exercise and cool off a bit. Suddenly, Bob and Peter appeared, staring in disbelief, or rather shock, at the pile of bizarre, often rather amateurish anatomical studies scattered on the floor, and at us, sitting emotionally exhausted. They had no idea the game we played, but feared they soon were going to get involved in some unorthodox ones, and their poor genitals were going to play an important part inevitably… 

Blind, choke, desex! 👀(first part)

Over time, I noticed that some readers of my blog might have gotten the wrong idea that Linda focused her training solely on techniques related to the testicles. As a result, both she and I were accused of having an unhealthy obsession with this area and hatred towards men. However, this is far from the truth. She taught us a comprehensive self defense system, in which the vulnerability of the testicles is just one, albeit important, element. I do realize that my bold and sometimes cheeky writing style may make some readers uncomfortable, but my intention isn't to shy away from such important, often life-saving topics. I aim to share what I learned from Linda’s course openly, which was based on her research findings, real-life experience, and extensive reviews of successful cases, suggesting that targeting the testicles provides the best opportunity for effective defensive counteractions.

Man's eyes can be beautiful, but also important
"high balls" target in female self defense

Linda trained us to handle various attack situations, equipping us with a comprehensive set of physical and psychological techniques and strategies. A key part of the course was to develop a thorough understanding of the male body and how to target its vulnerabilities, both physical and mental. Linda consistently emphasized that every man has delicate "crown jewels"—two high balls (eyeballs), two low balls (testicles), and a small protruding apple from the neck. All are very fragile, breakable, and arranged along the center of the body at a comfortable distance.

Every man fears losing them, protects them anxiously, and our task was to learn how to create the perfect unexpected “jewel heist”. Do you remember Linda's ideal deadly sequence for dealing with a dangerous attacker: “Blind him first, then choke him, and before saying bye-bye, desex him! He cannot rape you if he cannot see, cannot breathe, and cannot breed!”. Who wouldn’t love her hilarious mottos, mnemonics, and metaphors!

Following the recommended sequence to shut down all vital functions may not always be possible. Some sensitive spots may be more or less accessible, or not accessible at all, during different stages of an attack or in various situations. To open the window of opportunity, the principles of distraction and deception are therefore crucial. I already wrote about Adam's apple a long time ago, but what about the balls?—hmm, I mean eyeballs 😉.

Many “self-proclaimed experts” often claim that the eyes are the ultimate target in female self defense, and it's a mistake not to communicate this way. I’ve received plenty of such comments on my blog. I avoid ranking anything from best to worst, but saying that “eyes are better-forget testicles” is completely untrue; this is just someone's opinion, possibly an attempt to avoid feeling uncomfortable in situations by avoiding discussing the vulnerability of male genitals.

Consider these hard facts about eyes: It is almost impossible to employ anything other than the hand and fingers, and you need to exert precise movement, which can be quite difficult in a tense situation or in the dark. To do so, you still have to move your hand quite high, which can be a problem in close quarters or if he is holding your hands. Those who say testicles are too small targets might forget that eyeballs are also not very large objects; last time I checked, men are not big-eyed mignons 😶. The attacker also doesn’t just stand there; there is a natural protective reflex—he can pry off the hand performing the eye gouge or blink and move away when something comes close to his eyes. Don't you do the same? Attacking eyes might be repulsive for some women, but that can be true for testicles as well.

Play-along tactics, distraction, and deception are often
necessary for the execution of devastating eye attacks. 

Regarding the pros, eyeballs are extremely delicate, highly sensitive sphere organs protected solely by soft eyelids. A successful blow can result in serious outcomes, including intense pain, shock, excessive tearing, disorientation, and possibly temporary or permanent blindness in severe cases. The psychological effect on the attacker is also significant, inducing a fear comparable to losing testicles. 

Nevertheless, the eye sensitivity represents a crucial element in Linda's concept of distraction and deception, which I have already discussed in one part. If an eye attack succeeds, it temporarily stuns him and creates opportunities for follow-up strikes, including targeting our favorite sensitive dangling bits below. The good thing is that there's a convenient distance between the upper and lower parts. He might block one strike, but simultaneously, he's likely to fail to protect the other vulnerable spot, destined for a defeat and possibly losing something even more valuable…

What is rarely discussed is that male eyes are not only important because they are a physically vulnerable organ, but also because they provide sight, which can be easily used to our advantage; to occupy his mind and lower his guard, even increasing the sensitivity of the testicles due to arousal which is associated with increased blood flow into the genitals. Remember, men are extremely visually driven; a trigger of sexual excitement is often necessary to start the sneaky play strategy. Just a quick glance at a woman’s breasts will make him preoccupied and thus a much easier opponent.

Mirabelle plums are excellent eye simulants
for training serious techniques. 

Eye gouging should be performed as a stealthy attack, often by pretending to initiate a kiss or cuddle. Poking with fingers in a V formation can be done when the situation permits, and it must be non-telegraphed. As for other techniques, precise, unexpected, and quick execution is crucial. Training eye-targeting techniques is a serious matter and can be highly dangerous for both parties. As much as we were all for the most realistic training, we didn't want to harm Bob and Peter's beautiful eyes, so Linda secured a realistic rubber head with detailed eyes and a scary expression. It was quite durable equipment, surviving our wildest attacks when we went nuts. 

Like for testicles, she used fruits of appropriate size and texture to mimic the feel of real ones, including texture and resistance before rupture. Litchi fruits would be ideal, but are hard to get. However, Linda's Mirabelle plum tree in her orchard provided plenty of versatile, crushable, disposable training objects. The bigger served as testicles, the smaller as eyes…

 

To mash two potatoes 🥔🥔- introduction to stomping

Among the most brutal techniques of female self-defense are those in which a woman employs her strongest weapons—her legs—against an attacker on the ground. Many commenters asked me about stomping and whether I could make a post about it. This prompted me to do so, as stomping is an incredibly important so-called finishing technique.  Superficially, it might sound straightforward, but it can still be done incorrectly, missing the mark and in the end, compromising successful defense. Initially, I thought it would be just one post, but then I realized there were so many things to be properly communicated and discussed, so I decided to split it into several parts..

The last thing the attacker's testicles see...

Getting an attacker down is one thing, but ensuring he stays there while you make your way out safely is another. This is where stomping techniques come in handy. The prime target is obviously the attacker's testicles, but useful secondary targets include the knees, ankles, Adam's apple, nose, temples, and spine. One commenter posted a clip from a 2024 horror movie, MaXXXine, in which the heroine crushed the testicles of a potential killer with her stiletto heel. This is not just a work of fiction, but a good representation of a possible real scenario, taking advantage of the attacker's vulnerable position and the devastating capability of a spiked high heel.

You can incorporate a grinding movement
at the end, like you want to put out the cigarette bud. 

As I mentioned earlier, Linda often used vivid analogies to help us understand the mechanics of each move. She compared them to the principles of various types of machinery, as well as her favorite kitchen tools and utensils (sometimes quite unusual, I would say). When it comes to stomping, she referred to two metaphors: the drop hammer and the potato masher, which I think are very fitting, don’t you? Unlike front kicks, which require significant upward momentum and long-distance aiming, here, natural strength and weight are used to drop the leg down sharply on the vulnerable target with great force, making it one of the most powerful moves. It’s not just some kind of light stepping or trotting; the leg needs to be raised high and pushed with full force in the downward thrust. "Invite also the gravity to do the job," Linda said. What makes it so deadly is the key principle of pressing the soft target between two very hard surfaces. Plus, at the end, you can incorporate a merciless grinding movement, like putting out a cigarette, to inflict further serious damage, often a multilateral rupture.   

Two potatoes to be mashed together 

In Linda’s visualization, it was like preparing mashed potatoes with a potato masher, vigorously compressing the boiled potatoes between the masher and the bottom of the bowl and using a swirling grinding motion until they turn into a fine mush... just to add some butter, a splash of milk, and salt... a yummy side dish… 😊 Testicles might be a bit tougher than two boiled potatoes, but they are mashable anyway, especially if you use the technique correctly. 

There are several aspects to consider: the position of the attackers, whether he is facing belly down or up, and, of course, your position, how close you are to the attacker, and the availability of vital targets on his body.   As with other techniques, a good command of male anatomy is crucial; it is important to understand the position of testicles and that a sizable penis can provide some inconvenient shielding

The ideal striking area, whether barefoot or wearing light shoes, should be the heel of your foot, supported by a strong calcaneus bone. In some cases, the ball of the foot can also be utilized. When wearing shoes, the entire sole is robust and suitable for striking, but the most effective option is undoubtedly the stiletto heel, which can easily crush or puncture the soft target due to its pointed shape. The attacker's position also affects the choice of action. If he is facing down and exposed, the testicles may rest on the floor, creating a hard backing surface; if he is facing up, the backing is his pubic bone. In this situation, the correct angle is vital—striking just straight down might only impact his pubic area and/or penis.

The stomping technique depends on the position of your attacker. 
(A)  If the attacker is lying face down, you can squash the testicles between the ball of your foot and the ground. 
(B) If the attacker is in the position face up, use your heel and the backing of the pubic bone to squash the testicles. 

The moment he falls, he instinctively spreads his legs to futilely gain balance and soften the impact of landing on his back. Once he is on the ground, initially startled, usually after a hit to his testicles, he instinctively covers his genital area with his hands and presses his thighs together to prevent further danger to his already injured genitals. Here, quickness, precise targeting, and sufficient downward force are essential.  So once he meets the ground in a splayed position, use the first opportunity to execute the strike as quickly and cleanly as possible, without wasting time, yet ensuring it's resolute. If the situation allows, control his legs to keep them apart and the desired target accessible. It might not always be possible; let’s not forget that the principle of distract and destroy applies here as well. Focus your initial strike on another target, and when he moves his hands to the injured area, target his testicles. To create a safe opening, it’s best to stomp on the knee first to tear ligaments, causing him to bend the leg in pain, which provides a convenient opening for you. The most lethal action Linda showed us is to put him in a wheelbarrow position, a deadly hold he can't escape from, and giving you a freeway to his scrotum.  

Usually, the first stomp is all it takes, often sufficient to cause him to pass out and leave him with seriously damaged testes. However, if necessary, perform the move repeatedly with no remorse or hesitation. Once it is clear he is done and you have made some “mashed potatoes”, you can flee. In this case, using Bob and Peter to learn the principle and to aim for the right spot was extremely helpful…and fun. It was heartbreaking to see them lying helplessly on the floor, looking up in despair and hoping our leg flying down would just stop right before contacting their fragile reproductive organs…otherwise…  Luckily, it always ended well for them…and the following training of grinding was then rather a massage of their testicles.  To be continued…