Mail from Claire – inspirational story #6

Since I started this blog, I received quite some emails, most are very supportive, some critical (as often are the comments). Today I would like to share (with her permission) an email I received from a girl named Claire about her very interesting experience. I consider her account as a very valuable addition to the ongoing debate about ball myths and the philosophy of teaching self defense to young women particularly the differences in attitudes between male and female instructors.

Dear Wendy,

My name is Claire, and I just discovered your amazing blog. I study journalism and social science and I am about to graduate next year. I find the discussions on your blog quite fascinating uncovering some overlooked gender issues. I even considering doing my master thesis on the subject. I understand that from a male perspective, it is a very unpleasant and touchy subject, that’s why the responses are not always positive. Let me share a story from a couple of weeks ago which was for me quite eye-opening and completely changed my opinion how self-defense should be taught.  

At the beginning of this semester my good friend convinced me to attend a female self-defense course organized by our university. I heard some horrible stories about sex offences which happened recently, so I decided to give it a try.

The whole course consisted of two parts, one was theoretical about crime and rape prevention and the second one, which lasted for three weeks was about physical deterrence. We were divided into two groups of approximately 10; one group was led by a male and one by a female instructor. I was in the first group with Gerry, approximately 35 years old assistant professor from the sports department. He claimed he does several martial arts including karate and aikido, holding I don’t know which dan…even went to London Olympics…. He often wore a black kimono probably to highlight his seniority. Not exactly my type, but he was fit and good-looking, and I suspect that some of my classmates had a crush on him 😊

All the time he acted like he is the best expert in self-defense in the whole world. I did not like how cocky and opinionated he was.

Regarding the content of the course, I must say, his classes were dead boring and to me appeared totally useless, I often regretted I had to skip my favorite callanetics classes. The training looked basically all the time the same; he showed us a particular technique, usually to get out from a hold or grab and then we were supposed to repeat it and practice, either with him or in pairs. There was hardly anything on last-resort techniques. It was far from the fascinating and novel course you had with Linda.

For instance, he never mentioned testicles as a possible target…or actually, he mentioned that we should never attempt to kick or knee the groin, because it is dangerous, an attacker expects it and that we can lose balance…basically all the myths you debunk in your posts. Girls should, according to him, aim their kicks only at shins or knees cos a regular woman is not able to aim and kick higher. I am not an expert in self-defense by any means, never done any martial arts but come on, the things he thought were so unrealistic, consisted mainly of throws, pushes and elbow hits.

One evening Helen, the instructor of the second group got sick and we had to have the class together. This time we learned how to get away when an attacker stands close by and grab our hands. The idea was to twist the wrist to release our hand from the grasp, hit his nose with the palm and at the same time put one leg behind the attacker and try to trip him and push him down. Practicing this technique obviously caused us a lot of frustration. I don’t know how he got an idea that tripping a well-built man is a good self-defense move for an average college girl. Gerry became quite arrogant, criticizing us, having some stupid demeaning comments, and just adding to our frustration.

A man is as strong as his weakest point

There was a moment one girl, her name was Nadia was supposed to perform this move with Gerry playing an attacker. Nadia joined us from the other group and was a bit older than most of us, I think she was already a graduate student. So he grasped her hand to simulate an attack. But unexpectedly, Nadia instead of that awkward maneuver she was supposed to do, completely out of the blue, she stepped forward, quickly and sharply raised her knee and hit him right there …. you know the testicles! Because no groin techniques were ever trained, I suspect he never wore a cup. The bulge of his sweatpants got deformed, screamed horribly and immediately dropped to the ground. We all looked at him in awe. He was rolling on the floor cursing in apparently great pain.

Nadia was terrified, she squatted next to him and started to apologize profusely. But he just angrily rebuffed her focusing on his anguished male organs. Maybe to save the awkward situation one girl broke the silence and humorously commented “Well, that worked!” We started to chuckle, and another girl added “Seems, Nadia should be our new instructor!” another girl added “Heard something got cracked! Icepack?”

Nadia should be the one
wearing a black kimono 

I was a bit appalled by those sarcastic comments. You know we were just students, and he was a young professor, who just got in an embarrassing situation and is possibly injured. Of course, he did not share any humor with us, he just looked at us with an angry red face and called off the session and asked us to leave.

In the locker room, we gathered around Nadia to get an explanation.

Nadia told us that the last session with Helen they learned to get away from a similar situation, and a knee strike was involved and somehow the whole thing came automatically. She said I got really scared I ruptured his testicles I could feel the soft tissue being crushed with my knee. I am so sorry; I had no idea how effective it can be.

We were quite supportive, absolutely not blaming her. One girl said “Don’t feel sorry, you only broke his ego. He should have worn the cup, come on, this is a self-defense class one should expect their balls to be kicked!”

Nevertheless, Gerry did not come for the next class. We finished the remaining two classes with Helen. What a change it was! She was much much better teacher, and Wendy, imagine she used the word testicles instead of groin! We had some concerns about Gerry, but she assured us he is fine, he sustained a mild bruising in one testicle and in her words “The functionality of the organs got retained.” She said he took a break, teaching self-defense to young women can be quite grueling sometimes. 😊

She told us that what Nadia did, is a simple and effective defense move, and any instructor should not be ashamed to teach it and have the trainees to practice it. She also blamed Gerry for not wearing a cup, such carelessness was just calling for disaster. If Nadia kneed with a bit more force it indeed could lead to a rupture or torsion, possible permanent injuries. But if facing a rapist this should be our goal. She even gave us some tips how this can be easily accomplished.

We also discussed the grab-twist-pull method in detail. One girl even suggested having Gerry as a ‘training dummy’ so we can learn this important method in real! Helen was laughing with us, but she rejected the proposal “A good idea, but I don’t want to lose my tenure.” You were lucky you got Bob and Peter for Linda’s course. I think Helen should also look into such possibility. I see a lot of my male cheeky classmates for whom the serving in such a course as your ‘darling attackers’ would be only for their good 😊

The course was not long but I was amazed on the differences in attitude and approach between those two instructors, and I regret we hadn’t done the whole physical part with her. We had just two classes with her, but we left the course more confident and empowered and prepared for this dangerous word.

I don’t want to generalize but it indeed seems that female self-defense instructors perform better, and I can only recommend to specifically look for such courses.  

My best wishes and I hope to read more about this topic on your blog,

Claire

Thank you Claire for this very interesting and empowering story, I wish you very best luck in writing your thesis, do not hesitate in consulting me with anything. And be safe. Wendy 

Distraction and deception! 😲 (part 1)

Bird guarding its two eggs

Once I saw a very interesting nature documentary. It was about animals working in teams. They showed unique footage of two ravens stealing eggs from a grouse nest. While one raven distracted the protective female grouse the second one stole the eggs. It reminded me how Linda strongly highlighted the importance of the surprise element for female self defense, especially when applying techniques targeting testicles.

Understandably, men are naturally protective of their eggs as was the poor grouse. They learn from a young age that what is hanging between their legs is not only essential for their sexuality and propagation of their genes but is also very fragile and sensitive. In a physical hand-to-hand confrontation, you can see them instinctively assuming a groin protective stance crossing their legs, they cover their crotch with their hands, or/and moving their pelvis back. 

Typical male protective posture 

Many instructors and self-proclaimed experts insist that this conscious protectiveness and the expectation you would go for his sensitive bits make testicles an ineffective target and any failed attempts just make him angrier. Admittedly, this is indeed a limitation, however, it can be to a great extent overcome by using some dirty tricks to get to those guarded jewels. With this post, I would like to discuss one of the ‘Ds’ in Linda’s 4D principle of female self defense – deception, which also includes distraction and all types of trickery.

Linda often used her unconventional approach to make a point and when it came to this important aspect it was no different. That evening Linda was a few minutes late for a class, so we spent time chatting with Bob and Peter. They enjoyed the ladies’ attention and used it to brag about their recent successes in sports competitions. When she finally came in, she greeted us briefly and headed toward the guys. While she passed by Bob, she asked him “Is it your bag over there?” and pointed towards the bench. When he turned his head in that direction, she unexpectedly slapped his testicles with the other hand! It was a gentle slap but because he was wearing just thin gym shorts, we could hear a funny splat sound. Bob yelled out a loud auuu…  

Even a simple 'Wow, look up!'
distraction can be effective

Peter, who was standing next by giggled at this monkey trick and his pal’s stupidity. Linda now turned to him “Instead of acting goat, fetch my equipment basket from the cabinet” and tossed her bunch of keys toward him. The moment he showed his good reflexes and caught the keys in the air, she swiftly kicked him with a snap kick between his legs. She was again able to gauge the kick, so her instep just grazed the bottom of his scrotum, not causing serious pain but rather some discomfort. Now both guys were bending over with some reproachful looks, anxiously covering their manhood with their hands with determination they are not going to receive any more hits.

Linda smiled, stepped behind them, and affectionately patted their heads “Sorry guys I just wanted to show the girls…” before she finished the sentence, she suddenly dropped her hands down and slapped both already disturbed young men’s ball sacks from behind with something called a rear T-tap targeting the testicles’ back side which remained completely unprotected. Although again a rather gentle hit they both sprang forward like a bow. I could see Peter wanted to yell bitch at her but maybe in fear of the possible consequences, he just very quietly mumbled it to himself while trying to desperately drift out of her reach. Although mild, these blows clearly caused the guys some discomfort. Linda kept smiling and finished the sentence “...how to use distraction and deception!”

It was quite mischievous what Linda did to those unsuspecting boys, but their confused faces and the silliness of the situation were so funny we could not stop laughing. Luckily for them, she stopped these acts and let the guys have some rest and time to recover, and ordered us to sit down around her on the mats, so she can give us the introductory lecture. Once we all assumed comfortable positions, she explained to us.

Getting fooled can come
 as an unpleasant surprise 

“For female self defense, psychological tools can be more powerful than physical capabilities. As you saw, I effectively used the element of surprise. I easily managed to put Bob and Peter off guard by fooling them; poor boys did not expect what I am about to do and failed completely to counteract. If they even slightly suspected my intentions, they would be prepared and react differently and could block me in my action. They already knew my hands and legs can be dangerous for their testicles.

To remove the male’s natural consciousness around their testicles, the best is to create the moment their mind is occupied either by distraction or deception. You possibly heard that men are worse at multitasking than we are. They are also not very good at changing their momentary mindsets from for instance sexual expectations and excitement to fight readiness. So you have to diverge his focus, give him one task protecting one of his vulnerabilities just to immediately explore his other one. The best is to aim for the target far away from the testicles first, those located on the face, and particularly the eyes are the best. There should be no telegraphing, the move must come out of the blue.

Besides distraction, you can also use deception. There are many possible scenarios for how to do it, it depends on the given situation. For instance, you can make him believe you cannot or are not going to fight just to create a window of opportunity for an unexpected well-placed debilitating blow. Or you can fake your interest or submit momentarily just to excite him, change his focus, and make him undress. The moment you get good access to his exposed genitals, do a number on his testicles. OK, that’s just a short introduction to what you should know about the concept. You are now going to learn it in practice with Bob and Peter. I prepared a little game for you…” (to be continued)

Busting the ball myths (part three) - leave the groin on the beach!

One day in June I watched a morning TV show, and they talked about female self defense. It was rather a brief segment. A female Krav Maga instructor asked the show’s male host to play an attacker to demonstrate some basic moves. Normally a very cocky personality, he suddenly became quite shy and made a face when she said “…now knee the attacker in his groin” and her knee stopped just a few centimeters from his (quite prominent) bulge. I think these popularizations in public broadcastings are relevant, but unfortunately, often perpetuate some misconceptions. 

Using male hosts for demonstration of female self defense and
mentioning his testicles as a target can be a bit awkward. 

This time I will discuss an important aspect, and although maybe it cannot be classified as a typical myth, it significantly affects female self defense training. In one of my earlier posts, I already mentioned that one of the continuing maladies within the self defense and martial arts community is the inappropriate usage of the word groin. Why is it so important? Because it is incorrect and misleading terminology, and the wrong terminology means half-hearted and ineffectual training. If you looked up the word groin in Wikipedia you would learn that:

In human anatomy, the groin is the junctional area between the abdomen and the thigh on either side of the pubic bone. This is also known as the medial compartment of the thigh which consists of the adductor muscles of the hip or the groin muscles.

As you see, anatomically, the groin is a relatively large area of the human body and relates rather to the muscles forming this region. However, the real and intended target located there are obviously the testicles (although there are some exceptions I have not mentioned yet) and not any muscles or connective tissue. Techniques such as the kick or knee to the groin should therefore be referred to as the kick/knee to the testicles. The same for the hand-executed techniques, an instruction ‘grab his groin’ does not explain that you have to get his scrotum in a tight lock first, neither his penis nor the inner thigh or the perineum. So why do we more often hear groin instead of testicles?

There are many possible reasons. The main one is that self defense is not a pretty topic and many instructors in order to avoid any awkwardness, use more neutral wording to soften the subject a little bit, not to scare away the female course attendees. Yes, the testicles are male reproductive organs and understandably having a casual talk about crushing them between the sturdy striking area of the knee and the man’s pelvic floor on a morning TV show might be too much. A more 'tactful' language conveniently does not cause embarrassment (although it apparently still did to the show’s host 😊), it might not scare away the more sensitive and lenient of us, but it also does not help us in learning self defense in the most proper way and can be critically misleading with some deadly consequences. All women and girls, similarly to me and my classmates in Linda’s course, should be given precise information regardless of the sensitivity and controversiality of the subject. Only then we will be able to bring down our attackers on their knees, securely and in a blink of an eye. To properly kick, knee, or grab testicles, women should understand this prime target well; they should learn not to aim for the inner thigh, penis, or pubic region, they should know the location of testicles depending on the clothing, state of arousal, and immediate temperature and fully understand the desired trajectory and mechanics behind each move and the physiological and psychological effect on an attacker. With a very vague word groin, all of this is hardly possible.

Ring the two bells! 

Linda was very professional, neither she tried to sugar-coat anything, nor she made any compromises in teaching us all the dirty tricks. She did her best to be very exact and spot on, and she mainly used the medical terms testicles and scrotum. On the other hand, I admit her classes were also fun, and she did not refrain from using other metaphorical expressions, especially if it helped with understanding and visualization of a particular technique. 

Although a serious subject, female self defense does not need to be a sterile uptight activity, there is always room for using more colloquial language. There has been already a very interesting discussion going on in the blog comments and just to mention again that testicles can be called: eggs, to signify their fragility, size, and shape; nuts because of the crackability of testes or jewels being precious to the man and anxiously protected; balls as a sports equipment when explaining kicking or hitting or even bells when you need to 'ring the bell' he is about to do something wrong. In addition, sack/ball sack, bean bag, or pouch can be used for the scrotum when referring to this pendant wrinkly skin appendage.

So yes, there are plenty of synonyms and metaphors to choose from. I found out that the English word groin is also used for coastal structures built to prevent erosion of a beach. So maybe we should leave the groin on the beach 😊.

To crack two eggs 🥚🥚

As I already wrote elsewhere Linda always managed to surprise us with some unexpected approximations and metaphors. She initiated one of her classes by showing us a strange metal device I have never seen before. She asked us “Do you know what this is?” Ana raised her hand “I think it is an egg cracker, my grandma has a similar one.”

Egg cracker

Linda nodded “That’s correct. I bought one when I was cooking cakes for my cousin’s wedding. At first, I thought it is just one of those useless gadgets to fill up kitchen drawers, but surprisingly, in the end, I use it a lot. Surely you can crack eggs just with your hand, it does not require a lot of skills, but this tool prevents spoiling the dough with pieces of eggshells and I do not have to cope with all the mess after some occasional failures. I am showing you this thing to explain to you today’s highly effective last resort self defense technique named after this kitchen tool.”

Linda started her explanation “So how do you normally crack an egg with your hand? You hold it firmly in the palm of your hand first and then smash it on some sharp edge, usually a bowl to generate a crack while you separate the two halves with your fingers, letting the content of the egg drop into a bowl or on a pan. In the egg cracker device, this is done by these separate mechanical parts.” By pressing the handle, she showed us what she means and continued. “The egg cracker technique is based on similar mechanics:  blunt support on one side and a sharp blow with a pointy hard object on the other side. A man’s testis is like a chicken egg by its shape and quite often also by size. Well, in some men the size is closer to a quail egg.” Linda smiled.

“Similarly, the testis has also an outer shell, a fibrous tough layer called tunica albuginea which can be ruptured, and the inner content, seminiferous tubules leak out as it was egg yolk and white causing the man unbearable pain.” We all cringed at the thought of such a horrific injury even if caused to a would-be rapist.

At that moment I briefly looked at Bob and Peter sitting on a bench, playing with their smartphones waiting to be called to ‘serve’ as our ‘darling attackers’. As always, I was relieved to find out that they did not hear these brutal explanations from Linda.

Linda continued her lesson “You often get into the stage of an attack when you need to incapacitate your attacker quickly and securely. A young female hand is rarely sufficiently strong to cause real testicular damage, yet to rupture the testes by squeezing. Here comes the egg cracker technique. The prerequisite is that both of your hands are free, and you have access to his genitals, but such a window of opportunity likely occurs during a sex attack for example during forced oral sex.”  

Linda moved from theory to practice. “OK girls, let me demonstrate the technique on these silicone testicles. Look closely. I am grabbing the testicles with my left hand, securing them in the palm but not enclosing them completely so that half of it remain exposed. This will be the area to strike. Now with my right hand, I make a fist with the index and middle fingers forming the letter V, knuckles pointing out.” She explained further that knuckles are made of hard bone and therefore provide a pointy and sturdy striking surface. Like a spear she mentioned.

“You can now charge your hand and hit the testicles hard, in a way so one knuckle hits one testicle and the other the second one. Do not hesitate to do it several times, with full force for the best effect.” She was then violently smashing the poor piece of silicone repeatedly producing a horrible thug sound with each hit. “And that’s it, your attacker is lying on the floor incapacitated or unconscious with completely battered gonads.” Linda looked at us with a grin on her face and added “There are a lot of variations of this technique possible, you can apply it on one testicle only or as a final move during GTP to maximize its effect. The beauty of the technique is that the grab does not need to be perfect, it just provides the back support so you can effectively perform it on all types of scrota tight or loose, big or small even if the man is still clothed. You will see the versatility once we practice with Bob and Peter. For now, try it out by yourself with these silicone ones.”

Egg cracker technique: (A) grab the testicles with one hand and
(B) smash them with the fist of the other hand knuckles first. Repeat if necessary.

She distributed all the testicle simulants from her equipment basket. We loved practicing with the rubbery substitutes as we could go crazy.  At some point we got tired of repeating the move, we started to fool around, waging the balls, and hitting each other. We all giggled when Emma fastened the faked balls on her shorts, so they were swinging between her legs and let Tania perform the egg cracker. Linda let us for some time but once she saw we are fooling around too much and not focusing on the training anymore she clapped her hands. “OK, enough, it is about time to show you the applicability and the nuances of this technique on real ball sets.” She then waved her hand and signaled the two boys they should join us. 

When they approached us, Ana grabbed Linda’s egg cracker, raised it up for display, so they see it, pressed the handle a few times letting out a squeaking sound, and exclaimed “Guys we are going to crack your eggs!”  We all immediately burst into laughter. They had no idea what the metal device was, but let’s be honest its appearance is creepy, so their faces expressed horror and confusion at the same time. Linda saw they became scared and calmed them down. “Don’t worry no man’s eggs are going to be cracked today, I promise”

Despite truthfully treating their genitals (relatively) gently, it was still unnerving to see Linda using the young men’s testicles (both clothed and naked) to demonstrate the versatility of this deadly technique. Gladly she always managed to stop her strong fist right before hitting the delicate target. Has she ever failed once…

The art of kneeing (part 4)

Some of you asked me lately why I do not post more often. Well, it is always a busy time for me before the summer holiday, plus English is not my native language so writing and replying to comments consumes a decent piece of my free time. Nevertheless, it has been a long time since the last installment of the series about kneeing so I thought I should continue with this highly interesting topic.

We  had to go through some
awkward situations

Quite hesitant, despite the tall tents pitched on the boy’s shorts, we continued with the exercise according to Linda’s instructions. When it was my turn with Bob and I slowly raised my knee and felt the area, I immediately noticed the difference. What was before soft and wobbly, now became firm, fixed, and clearly much more sensitive as evidenced by frequent sudden jolts of Bob’s body even after relatively mild pushes with my kneecap. Suddenly my concentration got interrupted by a loud whine from Tania, who covered her face with her hand and turned around in disgust. The moment I looked down I noticed a small wet spot of precum that appeared on Bob’s shorts on the place his penis was projecting towards us. Soon Peter’s group was evidently dealing with the same ‘problem’ as their loud chuckles got intermitted by some sarcastic comments.

Both boys tried to inconspicuously cover the result of the male natural physiological reaction with their hands. They were blushing during the whole exercise but now they become red as two boiled lobsters. Emma tried to mitigate Bob’s embarrassment and gently caressed him on his shoulder to assure him that’s perfectly normal, it is nothing to be ashamed of and he has our sympathy, and we appreciate his dedicated involvement.

Despite the awkwardness of the situation, Linda, as always, kept her poker face, acted like the whole thing was expected (well it was), and clapped her hands “OK, that’s enough for now. I see you all have become exhausted so let’s have a short break.”

Boys tried to cover their natural
physiological reaction

We got relieved she is not going to insist on the continuation of the exercise after this delicate development. She then reached into her basket and tossed a new pair of shorts toward Bob and Peter with an order they should clean themselves in the bathroom and prepare for the next session.

After the break, we surrounded Linda on mats for a short reflection on the previous activity and instructions on the next exercise.

Linda started her talk “Girls, keep in mind there are two key elements of kneeing you must master: precision and force. With this first exercise, you just started to work on precision. Automated proper aiming is important and is not easy to achieve without an understanding of the male anatomy and continuous long-term practice. In the beginning, you all most likely went off the first time, and your knee rather got to their upper thighs, pubes, or perineum, but by utilizing visualization you improved with each new take until you could find the right spot by heart. Shorter girls probably realized it is not easy to lift the knee all the way up.

“You also learned something important about the dynamics of the testicle target and how it is affected by a given situation in this case a man’s arousal. I guess you all noticed, at the beginning when the guys came from the shower their testicles hung low. Probably you felt their flaccid penises on your knees as well. Following arousal their scrotum sacks became tight, the testicles got lifted up and their erect penises were no longer any obstacle to your knee. For these reasons kneeing a man in the state of arousal is much easier. But this was just the first of the series of exercises to master full proficiency in correct aiming. Later I will tell you about some exercises you can practice at home, so your targeting becomes automatic.”

“The reason I gave the boys time for a little rest is that they might experience something called ‘blue balls’. Have you heard about this effect before?” Linda asked the girl audience. Susanne as a young medic already knew and raised her hand.

Blue balls can be sensitive

Linda called her on. Always ready to show her medical knowledge Susanne explained to us “Colloquially called blue balls, in medical terms epididymal hypertension, is a condition when testicles get engorged by the blood flow during arousal which stays accumulated if there is no release by orgasm and ejaculation. Apparently, it can be a quite painful experience for men but should dissipate relatively quickly.”

I immediately wanted to ask… but Ana was faster and inquired with a high level of curiosity “Do they really turn blue?”

“Well, indeed, they can get a bluish hue. That’s because of all the blood in the scrotum” explained Susanne to her less educated friend.

“Can we see it on our guys?” Ana now turned to Linda.

But this time Linda resolutely declined the request. “I think it was enough for the boys for today, you can test it with your boyfriends if you want.” We all sighed in disappointment. Most of us, including me, have never heard about this condition and wanted to see it in real. But you know me,  I just could not get the idea out of my head, I was just thinking I should really try it out with Tom this coming evening.  

Speedbag as testicles

Linda then continued with an introduction to the next exercise “Now we will start with the second key aspect, and it is the force. Not enough force, little effect on a man.”  She then added “An accelerated woman’s knee can exert a pressure up to 20 kilonewtons. This is more than enough to rupture a testicle, but not all women have this capability without proper training.  So, now on we should work on your muscles of the upper leg which are the most involved in the upward movement of your knee.” She went with her hand along her thigh so we can notice that area; hers was nicely formed after regular workouts.

Linda got on her feet and started to build a setup by hanging a heavy leather speedbag on the rope from a crane at the height of the testicles of an average man. I noticed Bob and Peter returned from the bathroom and inquisitively watched Linda’s preparation…

To be continued…

Busting the ball myths (part two) - the center of the male body

David and his testicles 

It was springtime and it means time for the annual spring cleaning! Not only cleaning our apartment which was, after all the lockdowns, in a total mess but also cleaning the mind. While I was removing dust from some old things in cupboards I came across a small replica of David from Michelangelo. It was a gift from my aunt when she was traveling to Italy, sadly she passed away a couple of years ago. I used to have it on display, but it always triggered some giggles and female banter on penis sizes causing some awkward situations especially when male visitors were also around, so I decided to take it out of sight. It is pity because I like the little statue so much. I like the curly hair and nicely build body in a fighting stance. 

Holding this little statue in my hands brought back some memories of my aunt. When I was an inexperienced teen, she gave me some pieces of advice on dating and relationships with men. Among many of her wisdom one stuck in my head, she used to say “A man’s heart and his balls break easily, be careful with those.” 😊. While recalling memories from the past, I was cleaning the dust from the statue’s tiny male parts carefully and gently, like they were real testicles.

Genitals as the center of the male body

Renaissance art is so beautiful, the artists resurrected the ancient Greece aesthetics, they were not ashamed to show the male body in its purest form. Although David’s penis is cutely small—our art teacher said a small penis represented decency and good manners—his testicles are of normal size, very anatomically correctly shown with the left one being a little bit bigger and hanging slightly lower. They are presented proudly, uncovered as an essential part of his torso. It reminded me of another Renaissance piece, Vitruvian Man by Leonardo da Vinci. It is a famous study of the human body proportion. The genitals clearly represent the center of the male body; it somehow signifies their importance to the man. Why am I telling you all of this?

With this post, I would like to debunk another self defense myth that seeks to discourage women to target testicles by saying that testicles are not easily accessible and a target difficult to aim for. If we look at David or Vitruvian Man, their reproductive glands are positioned in the center of their body, hanging outside not protected by any muscles, bones, or cartilage, but by their penises and the thin scrotum skin. Is it a very small target?  Surely not a huge one, but testicles’ surface area is similar to any other prime target; are eyes or Adam’s apple any bigger? Its position in the center of the body makes the testicles a very convenient target for attacks either with hands or legs from most positions: standing, sitting, or on the ground. In some situations, a woman can even use her head, elbows, or butt. 

Testicles are approximately on the same level as hands, so regardless of the type of attack: a GTP, punch, or a chop with the ridge of the hand, or the position of the attacker: standing in front or behind you, it is extremely easy to get to them, without needing to generate much of a movement and it happens in the periphery of his eyesight. Hence, such an attack can be quick and non-telegraphed. This contrasts with the techniques using the hand for instance to attack points on the face when the woman’s hand often needs to go all the way up giving the attacker a chance to react and block it.

When attacking testicles with the knee, this does not need to go on a very long trajectory; just quickly and sharply lifting the knee enables it to gain enough acceleration and power for a deadly strike. When front kicking with your foot, the testicle is the target closest to you when he is in the most distant position. Moreover, his thighs will ‘guide’ your foot to the right spot. The same is true for a back kick with your heel. 

If choosing to kick the shin or kneecap you might not get enough room for sufficient acceleration and force and kicks ‘above the belt’ or even high kicks to the head are not suitable for female self defense; let’s leave those for action movies. I am not saying a woman should forget other vital points of the male body, there are some other valuable besides testicles, and Linda’s course covered those in detail as well. In conclusion, attacking testicles is by no means bulletproof but saying it is a hard target has nothing to do with reality; just looking at classic statues or your naked male partner should clearly tell you otherwise.

One ring 💍 to rule them all!

Maybe I disappoint all Tolkien fans among readers of this blog, but this post is not going to be about the Lord of the Rings masterpiece. It will be about an important and often overlooked aspect when a woman is using her hand for testicle-targeting anti-rape techniques, some of which I already mentioned here and here.

Lock your fingers as you would put
 a padlock on his testicles 

The initial step of these techniques is always to put the attacker’s testicles in a tight lock and secure the grip with her hand so they cannot slip away. This can be effectively done by encircling your thumb and forefinger like you would be making an OK sign as close to the body as possible creating a really tight ring. If you imagine, testicles are formed by a skin sack—scrotum which contains two egg-shaped glans testes. Enclosing the root of the scrotum and the spermatic cords basically separate the testes from the body and they snugly come in the palm of your hand. It’s like putting a padlock on the testicles.

As always, in reality, it is not as easy as it sounds. One of the limiting factors is the size of the woman’s hand, but it also strongly depends on whether the attacker’s testicles hang low or are tightly packed (naturally, because of low temperature or man’s arousal). When the testicles are small, the lock can be applied to the whole scrotum. Quite often because of the circumstances such as a small woman’s hand and/or sizeable testicles, targeting a single testicle should be preferred. In this case, you should use your thumb or the forefinger (depending on the angle of the attack, and whether using your left or right hand) to push it between the testicles to separate them first, and then use the other finger to finalize the deadly ring around the top of the testicle. Choose the testicle hanging lower (usually the left one). In the case, that the attacker has a tight ball sack you have to push both fingers forcefully inside the pubic floor to effectively fish out the testes. Keep in mind that on how successful this first step is, depends the accomplishment of the following actions such as twisting, squeezing, and pulling. So it is important not to rely on just light grabbing.  

Depiction of the locking mechanism
in Susan Smith's book

The initial instinct of a man is to budge and/or to try to pry your hand out of him but once you apply the lock properly his effort is to no avail, any movement on his or your part just increases the pressure and causes a painful tug on his sensitive organ(s). It is imperative not to lose the clutch and with all your might keep the fingers as rigidly fastened as possible. In Susan Smith’s book Fear or Freedom, you can see a very good illustration of the proper application of the locking mechanism.

As you can see it is not a trivial move and Linda was very particular that we understand the principle and practice this thoroughly so we can execute it effectively when desperately needed.  

As I mentioned before Linda sought to relate the principle of the techniques to known things and common activities. When explaining to us this step she asked us “Have you seen milking a cow in real?”  We all shook our heads no. “Aaah, I see, city girls!” Linda smiled. She then played us a video on her tablet depicting milking a cow. A young female farmer was grasping a teat and squeezing milk out into a bucket in quick successive movements.

Grabbing testicles is like milking a cow

Linda commented “Now imagine this teat is the attackers’ testicle. Look how the girl forms the ring up as close to the udder as possible and then pushes down. It is like you want to desperately push the rest of the paste out from a tube. In this case, she squeezes out the milk. Pinching or grabbing just the tip of the teat would not work.”

Obviously, we did not have a cow at disposal in our dojo, but as always fake silicone testicles came in very handy.  Linda held the toy with her left hand on one end and with her right hand, she slowly put the thinner area above the testicles into a lock by forming the OK sign and enclosing her fingers.  “You see these bits now cannot escape regardless of how hard I pull or try to wiggle them out.”  She rotated her hands so we can see it from all angles. She continued “Now, I have them secured in my hand and I can easily crush them to a pulp with the combination of the strength of my palm and the fingers as we did with the two walnuts exercise.”

As always, she wouldn’t let us go without trying out the ‘technique of the day’ on a real set of testicles. And we all were in great anticipation as we knew this is going to be hilarious.  “Are we going to milk our guys?” asked Laura sarcastically. Emma added immediately “If so, we need a basket and an apron.”  

We all burst into laughter including Bob and Peter standing close by, who started to blush cutely.  Linda did not like this kind of pubertal banter in her course. She rolled her eyes like she is over this, but I could see a little smirk on her face “Stop it, this is a serious business.” Obviously, our darling attackers were a little bit hesitant to step in.  So, she stood behind them gently pushed them forward, patted both on their shoulders, and asked them “Gentlemen, will you be so kind as to show us your testicles?...”  

Interview with Linda (part 3)

For the last couple of days, I have been working on the translation of Linda’s interview. In this part, we will learn more about Linda’s principles and philosophy in teaching self defense to young women. It is a very enlightening reading. 

Linda, what do you think makes your course different than the others?

I think you are going to be surprised by the answer. My course is free of charge and is led by a woman, and this makes a whole lot of difference. There are many different courses out there, the dojo owners all brag about how great a job they do, they do not teach any bullshit like the others, they are realistic, simple, etc. However, keep in mind that these are commercial projects with money-making as their prime focus. Women’s actual needs are not on the top of the list of priorities. How a course can be called ‘reality based’ if you use a heavily padded model attacker with restricted movement hardly reacting to any hits.

Karate is a nice martial art but impractical
for female self defense 

The course responsible are often practitioners of martial arts, they always think that just adapting the martial art they are familiar with is enough and can be taught to women.  Although few ‘experts’ would still argue that learning Judo or Karate is sufficient self defense training, this type of thinking unfortunately remains. My system is not based on any martial art, just the research I and my peers have done with a strong focus on simplicity and effectiveness.

In other systems, there is also too much emphasis on basic or first response techniques and very little, if anything, on last resort self defense. This is maybe appropriate when teaching men but is poor when teaching tactical strategies to young women. Female self defense is not a contest but rather a fight for survival in which one of the opponents is limited by a smaller size and weaker strength and this must be taken into account and balanced out. In my opinion, many courses provide just a false sense of security rather than true empowerment which is absolutely needed.

Can you tell us more about why teaching last resort self defense is important?

There is this flawed idea that the scope of a self defense course should not go beyond wrist lock releases, punches to the nose, or elbow to the stomach. It somehow implies telling: “So, the wrist lock release did not work, now expect to be raped, we did not teach you what to do next.” An attacker with his pants down and his genitals exposed is much more vulnerable and defeatable than the moment he just jumped out of bushes doped with adrenaline. A state-of-the-art course should cover all the situations and stages of a sex attack and should focus on techniques and strategies, even a petite girl can do before the worst happens.

Many trainers feel uncomfortable going into more sensitive and touchy subjects. For a male teacher, it might be awkward to talk about his own male parts and how vulnerable they are. For this reason, the best is when a female teaches other females, this way one can also avoid any unwanted sexual backdrops.

Lastly, I often read a very stupid argument that learning self defense is worthless because women are in majority attacked by someone they know. The self defense techniques I teach can be used in different situations and against anybody, including an abusive husband or boyfriend. All men have Adam’s apple and testicles.

Can you explain to the readers what are the main principles of your system?

Deception is an important element 
of last resort self defense

My system is based on simple principles in both learning and execution. If in a sticky situation a woman should follow the ‘4D’ principle which comes in sequence: decision, deterrence, deception, and determination.  The ‘decision’ means to learn to make the right decision at a given moment. For instance, running away can be the best option in some instances. Freezing can be a problem, but I also teach how to overcome this through some mental training.

If immediate escape or alerting the crowd is not possible a woman might decide on deterrence at different levels. Depending on the seriousness of the situation she can use some psychological tools or less serious techniques such as ‘fire quenchers’. A deception should follow if everything failed so far, the aim is to make the attacker off guard and his targets exposed. Using trickery is key in manipulating the attacker to a position he becomes vulnerable and creating a window of opportunity for the execution of a debilitating counterstrike. Momentary cooperating, making him remove his pants, and gently touching his genitals can be a prelude to the most serious no-fail techniques. This should be done with a determination which is an important component when resorting to physical resistance; it has to be done with full force, violently, and without hesitation. 

The aim is to subdue the attacker till he is no threat to you. The attack should be targeted at the three most sensitive targets: his eyes, Adam’s apple, and testicles, the best in a sequence BCD: ‘Blind him, choke him, desex him!’ Sometimes it is necessary to make him pass out. This can be done for instance by stomping sharply between the attacker’s splayed legs so there is no doubt he will stay down, and you can make your way out to safety. This is rarely taught in any other courses.

However, there has been a controversy about how you teach these techniques…

How would one expect women to learn something when they cannot try it out during training? Nobody ever learned a new language just by listening.  So why should we, for instance, teach a lifesaving technique such as GTP just by saying You know, BTW you can also grab his groin? And the only time a would-be victim would execute or at least try it is in the most stressful life-threatening situation. It is then too late to figure out how it is actually done properly. I understand that the readers have some concerns about our male assistants. Pain and occasional embarrassment are a small price they have to pay. There are higher stakes than that for women not provided with the ability to defend themselves.

Once you told us that the female self defense training should involve both psychological and physical aspects. What are the psychological aspects?

The road to mastering the art of self defense starts in the head. Women are naturally non-violent lenient creatures; they do not want to hurt anybody. The psychological component of my training is to change their mindset to find inner aggression and unleash it when needed. I aim to accomplish true female empowerment and to build self-confidence. That’s why I insist any woman should try out the techniques as close to reality as possible, including those that are normally taught just orally such as attacks on testicles. Not only does a woman memorize it well, but she can more easily repeat it when really needed. It leaves a deep imprint in her mind: “I managed to take down a training assistant, I can do it again in real life and it works.” 

But still, I often have difficulties convincing some girls to go full force. I often hear “Linda, but this might permanently maim the attacker! I don’t want to castrate him!” I explain to them, that in this horrible situation they should not worry if they injure him, even if they castrate him. Their goal is to get away from the situation using whatever it takes, even if it means castration.  I tell them “Think for a moment, you are not only saving yourself but potentially any other girl in the future.” I wish the girls leave my course not just as course graduates but as true female warriors.

And what about the physical aspect of self defense?

Some exercises can be done
during other daily activities 

The self defense training is not only about mastering the techniques and getting the appropriate knowledge and skills. It should not end after a lesson or after a course. I always tell my students that staying fit and physically active is not only healthy and for good looks but increases your chances of a successful encounter with a violent dangerous man. I suggest building a dummy out of pillows with attached testicles made from a sock with rubber balls and keep practicing daily at home things that you have learned in the course. 

Doing punches, kicks, knees, gouging eyes, and grabbing testicles regularly increase movement memory and are a good workout improving physical capabilities. Too lazy or tired for a day? Use the time to keep your grip strong by squeezing stress balls or fake testicles while watching Netflix or reading the news. You can also involve your partner in these activities. But be careful with his eyes and testicles, thou.  

I really liked the lectures and theory classes, how important are these?

We had a lot of fun during the classes

I am glad you liked it. Success stories, examples, and videos are another important part of my training; it makes self defense training less abstract and more relatable. Although I aim to rather keep a serious tone, it makes a lot of fun, girls love it. It is not uncommon that girls starting applauding when I read a story from a newspaper about a young girl who sent her attacker to a hospital with a ruptured testicle. A home video or an MMA match of some accidents involving men’s most sensitive parts is sometimes more convincing than 1000 words and helps with overcoming the psychological barriers I talked about before.

I have to say I learned a lot about male anatomy in the course. Can you explain why is it important?

Knowledge of the male anatomy is
 another important element of learning 
self defense

Yes, girls are really surprised by how much emphasis I put on the knowledge of the anatomy of the male body and particularly its most vulnerable spots. “Know your enemy from head to toe!” is another essential principle of my system. Physically but also psychologically. It means not only weak points on his body but also in his mind!  Girls say they learned more on this topic than in their sex-ed and biology classes. They are university freshwomen, not that sexually experienced yet, so it really counts. Most are amazed at how fragile and also variable male genitals are, and they learn what is the significance for self defense. Again, this topic should not be taught only theoretically but practically as well. That is why Bob and Peter and other male assistants come in so handy…

 to be continued….

Busting the ball myths (part one) - a bag of pain

I have been quite busy lately and had no time to write new posts. However, I found some time this week and today I continue with a series of posts in which I would like to look more closely at some of the myths and misconceptions often perpetrated in the self defense and martial arts community, and particularly those related to the testicles as a target. In one of my earlier entries, I already touched upon some of those controversial issues, but recently I realized some topics require more attention and a deeper discussion.

First, I would like to note that this ‘debunking’ will be backed by some extensive and thorough research in this area done by Linda and partially also by me. So, most of the information I will present in these posts is well supported by scientific data, not just anecdotal evidence, or someone’s opinion.

The first myth I would like to discuss in this series is that any hits to the testicles are not that painful, the effect is always exaggerated in the movies, it can be shrugged off easily and, in the end, it will just make him angry, and therefore is better to aim for…

The roots of these claims are often deeply embedded in denialism of the existence of any male weak spot stemming from the male gender self-indulged assertion of dominance and physical superiority. When I became more interested in female self defense I soon realized men are much more comfortable in exposing and presenting pressure points shared between female and male bodies (e.g. eyes, knees) but subconsciously avoid highlighting any male-specific target area. This could be because of their qualms to expose their own vulnerability or simply this topic, in general, creates some kind of natural embarrassment or awkwardness for a man. For this reason, it is always better to have a lead female self-defense instructor and male assistants as model attackers. Although extremely interesting, I don’t want to discuss the roots of this myth in this post further and leave it for later, so back to the main point of this post.

Many of you would maybe ask why this topic is so important. Well, the purpose of physical self-defense is to eliminate the ability of an attacker to continue his attack either by causing him intensive pain and/or shutting down his vital functions (breathing, seeing) and/or his ability to move (e.g. by breaking his knee) or via a psychological effect resulting in defusing the escalated situation or preventing further aggression. Well executed attacks on testicles generate not only sharp pain and physical ‘shut down’ but also affect the mental state of an attacker. So any defensive technique that with a little effort, skills or strength would result in these effects is a preferred defense maneuver of any woman, regardless of her physical capabilities. So are testicles indeed so sensitive, do they hurt so much if hit or is it just an exaggeration of the moviemakers or wishful thinking of female self defense instructors?

To understand the best would be to start with the anatomy and physiology of the testicles. Testes are glands of inner secretion that during the human evolution appeared outside the male body pouched in the scrotum (not all males in the animal kingdom have testicles in the same awkward position). So if for instance ovaries were positioned in some funny floppy skin sacks on the body, one can be pretty sure they would be a super-sensitive target as well, but luckily for us women it did not happen😊. 

Testes are covered by thousands of pain receptors and nerve endings. Their purpose is to signal the owner the danger of damage to these two vital organs. And they can be damaged easily because they hang outside and are not covered by any bones or a strong layer of muscles. Men often report so-called referred pain, especially in the stomach area. This is because during development testicles descend from the abdominal cavity to the scrotum but remain connected via the spermatic plexus with the whole sympathetic nervous system. I am a woman so I cannot describe the testicular pain. Some compare the intensity to childbirth, but I have not delivered a baby yet so again I cannot tell. The best is to listen/read about it from guys themselves.

This website collected accounts of 15 young men who describe what they feel when being hit in the testicles. Some descriptions are quite metaphoric but quite telling 😊 they all report gut-wrenching pain they do not want to experience again.

This excellent blog from Allison Gibbons and this educational video from a urologist Dr. Rena Malik describes in detail the medical details of the testicular pain response, and why there is such a plethora of physiological effects and trauma on the male.

Even the toughest MMA fighters are not 

immune to the testicular pain 

However, the best evidence is to see the man’s reaction for real, and such a unique opportunity is provided by MMA matches. Neither I nor Tom is a big fan of this type of entertainment but researching groin shots always refer you to numerous videos of mishaps in MMA fights. Linda also recommended watching these videos to get an idea. I guess the very wild nature of the fighting style inevitably results in occasional accidental (or nonaccidental?) hits to the testicles usually by a foot or knee. Here is one of the compilations on Youtube. Many of those strikes do not even seem to be that powerful, yet they act as an instant fight stopper, and I guess those fighters are tough men, high on adrenaline and used to pain. Sometimes it seems a good kick or knee to the testicles just accelerates the gravitational force around the man and he drops down immediately like a sack of potatoes.

From these examples, one can see that the immediate reaction of a man is to bend over, fall on the floor, and assign a fetal position. Medical records report systemic effects on the body such as all-consuming pain in different body parts, nausea, convulsing, drowsiness, sweating, and increased heart rate. Vomiting and passing out is not uncommon after more serious impacts or techniques. In some cases, the attack on testicles can trigger a neurogenic shock and even death. But this rather happens in men with serious heart issues. Notably, men with hurt testicles are usually unable to continue with any sexual activities which is a side effect especially important during a rape attempt.  

Try an experiment with flicking a ball.

Logically pain intensity correlates with the intensity of the technique used. I already mentioned fire quenchers such as groin slap, which serve as a milder reminder of his wrongdoing till determined counterattacks during rape/murder attempts such as GTP which can lead to serious permanent damage - testicular rupture or torsion.

I know that many of the male readers will be upset, but if you still have doubts try an experiment for yourself.  If you have a boyfriend or husband and you are dealing with his naked lovemaking tools (e.g. during oral sex) try to flick his testicles very gently with your fingers (note I say gently!) and watch his reaction. I guarantee he will feel it and react to it. But don’t worry, the pain should dissipate completely in a couple of minutes and you can continue with lovemaking. I know what I am talking about as I tried that on Tom. He still thinks it was an accident though😊. Now imagine what a serious defensive technique would do to a man.

Admittedly, some men are naturally less prone to these effects, and it is possible that some of such instances might actually add to the myth, but this is a minority. Interestingly, Shaolin monks often condition themselves and ‘harden’ their testicles. Think, they would not do it if testicles were not their vulnerable spot! But it is highly unlikely you are going to encounter a Shaolin monk outside Asia 😊.  

As with other techniques, nothing is bulletproof, and as I said numerous times the techniques have to be taught properly and executed properly, without hesitation and telegraphing. However, it is extremely empowering and revealing to get knowledge about the sensitivity of testicles and the option we have when defending ourselves. It constitutes one of the pillars of effective female self defense training, but unfortunately, it is still often ignored or shrouded in myths. I am glad it was not the case having Linda as our self defense guru.