This summer was extremely hot, and with Tom, we decided to cool off at a local lake. The place is usually very crowded, but we found a calmer, shaded place. While Tom was having a nap, I got bored reading a book and started to look at the people walking by and bathing. It was fascinating to see different people and their body types, and in men, bulges with visibly varying content. It immediately reminded me of one memorable class with Linda that really stuck in my mind—a hilarious lesson on male anatomy and, believe it or not, visual art…
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Linda always managed to surprise us with some bizarre tasks. |
Yet, as we
have learned many times before, Linda's bizarre demands and exercises often
made sense in the end, and protesting would be futile anyway. Tania, obviously without
a boyfriend, was asked to draw a random naked man she could find online. Although
we were initially a bit baffled, we all left the dojo motivated to do our best
to accomplish the task. Walking down the street after saying bye to my
classmates, I realized how fascinating and revealing this psychological
experiment might be.
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A secret snapshot of Tom's morning wood enabled me to get the image of his aroused genitals. |
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Artistic drawing is not easy, but in the end, I was satisfied. |
Exactly as I suspected, just entering the dojo suggested that this class was going to be fun. Some girls couldn't control themselves and, before receiving any instructions, proudly showed their intrigued peers their artwork, peppering it with funny stories about how they managed to capture visuals of their darlings’ jewels and what kind of tricks they had to invent, which caused a lot of frantic giggling and some highly ungirly remarks. I do not blame them; none of us wanted to fail Linda's assignment. We noticed Bob and Peter did not come, so that somehow indicated that the things we were going to learn were not for their innocent ears or eyes, which only added to our excitement to the point that we did not notice Linda had just arrived. Hearing the loud chatter and vim, she did not let us wait long; this time, she even skipped the regular warm-up exercise, which was quite unusual.
“I see you
are quite impatient. So let's check how you managed your assignment,” Linda
asked us to sit down in a semicircle around her on the mat, and we did so
quickly, filled with anticipation. She then gave instructions for the next
activity. “I want each of you to go one by one, show the other girls your
drawing, and then describe your partner's male organs in words. You can, for
example, compare them to various fruits or other everyday objects if that
helps. Comment on shape, size, skin, pubic hair, and other important features.”
It was great
that Ana was the first to present, since she's naturally outgoing and not too
shy. Without hesitation, she confidently held up the sheet for us to see her
boyfriend's genitals, using her finger to point out the parts she was
discussing, just like a teacher addressing her class.We had a lot of fun showing
our creations to our classmates.
“Well, as you see, these are my boyfriend's
testicles and penis. I call his testicles bolas because they are perfectly
round balls that usually hang really low, swinging vigorously like two
pendulums. You obviously can't see it here, but even a small flick causes great
discomfort, which I often shamelessly take advantage of.”
After these
words, we all burst into laughter, but Ana continued, “They like to move up and
down depending on the temperature and the intensity of my petting. His penis is
like... let's say, a cucumber, I mean, when relaxed and unused like a typical
pickle, but it can elongate to become long and thick, like those used in
salads,” she proudly pointed at the drawn erect penis.
“They are actually
called English cucumbers,” interrupted Susanne, eager to show off her culinary
knowledge.
“Does it
also taste sour?!” Laura's unexpected inquiry made us laugh again.
“No, at
all, it is very succulent and delicious,” replied Ana with all seriousness.
It sounded like a pubertal locker room banter
we used to have in high school, but Linda let us have some fun and did not
interrupt the ongoing cheerful chat. At the end of her talk, she praised
Ana for her drawing and vivid description. The details she managed to capture
were excellent; she depicted the deep crevices on the relaxed scrotum, long
prepuce protruding from the penis end, and she made a great effort to illustrate
a lot of long curly pubic hair covering the whole area. Artistic representation of
Tom's erect penis
Now, when the ice was broken, the other girls enthusiastically followed her path, and we all fought to give the best presentation of our better halves' most precious body parts, intermitted with some more or less inappropriate remarks. Some of us are naturally shyer than others, and expressing ourselves in such a tense situation was not always easy. Luckily, Linda managed to create a nonjudgmental, lively atmosphere. When the talking stalled and we groped to find the right words, she encouraged the audience to ask concrete questions, such as the estimated penis's length, girth, or volume of the testes.
There were some memorable moments, such as when Laura was honest about the size of her boyfriend's penis in the flaccid state and called it a fat earthworm. Or when Tania presented a drawing of a male pornstar with a huge penis, which was circumcised—none of our boys are. The unusual curvature of Rebeca’s boyfriend's penis also drew a lot of attention, as well as an unusually tight scrotal sac. Susanne, as always, was very precise and used the correct medical terminology as much as possible; sometimes, we had no clue what she was talking about. Some presented privates were clean-shaven, some bushy, some penises were truly on the shorter side… but we were absolutely not judgmental.
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To be honest, most presented flaccid penises were of the shape and size of a small pickle |
After we
finished the round, Linda expressed her satisfaction with the well-played-out first
exercise stage. “Now tell me. What have you noticed?” she asked us.
“Oh, we are
actually very talented artists!” exclaimed Emma naively.
“No doubt
about it”, Linda nodded, with a bit of an ironic tone and a smile on her face. “And
what else?“
“Our
boyfriends are all well-equipped real men!” Laura rushed to a somewhat dubious conclusion, possibly knowing this was not what Linda expected, but trying anyway.
Clearly not getting the right answer, Linda grinned
and repeated, “Do not want to argue on that, I leave the judgment to you, but what
else?”
“There is
a high variability among the male genitals, in type, size, volume, how low
they naturally hang, and how they react to arousal…even though the sample size was
just six.” Finally, rational Susanne understood Linda's direction and answered
correctly.
“Exactly!” Linda agreed. The natural diversity
of male reproductive organs in many aspects, not only shape and size, is remarkable,
which has very important implications for self defense, more than you ever
thought. You might choose a boyfriend and his genitals, but not your attacker. The knowledge of male anatomy and its variables
and utilizing it to your advantage is one of the essential elements of my system,
but it also involves a significant change in a woman's mindset.” Linda said in an almost preaching
voice.
Our guru
then announced the continuation of the exercise. “Now, put all the drawings in
this box, and each of you draws one piece. Then imagine it as an attacker's
genitals in front of you. Explain to your peers which technique you would
choose and why it would be the most effective for the given type of organs.”
An awkward
moment of silence followed. We knew it was
going to be a weird class, but like this? OK, one thing is to show some naughty
drawings, and the other one is to listen to how your friends would batter our loving
partner's precious sex organs. These were not just some anonymous imaginative drawings
of some bad guys' junk, but our lovelings.
“Ana, again,
you go first,” ordered Linda. Ana, this time, more hesitatingly drew a first paper
and tried her best to explain the details of how she would injure Emma's
boyfriend's testicles as well as his penis.
Now on, we all
had to listen to gut-wrenching explanations of snapping penises to induce
penile fracture, testicle twisting to induce torsions, and flattening the
glands to mushy nothing. We got the opportunity to show all the knowledge of
the most destructive techniques we learned from Linda, including the vivid
descriptions of exposed penis heads being pepper-sprayed or bitten off completely The saggy
testicles were pulled till the cords inside snapped; tight testicles were
punched in an upward motion to crush them against the hard pelvic floor. Ironically, a long penis and sizable,
low-hanging testicles were no longer a sign of male pride but rather a fatal
weakness and a disadvantage for the owner. Linda often exhausted us not only
physically but emotionally as well
This was an
emotional rollercoaster. Instead of shooting some funny remarks, we naturally became
defensive and even shouted things like “Do it to your boyfriend's junk!” I also
almost went nuts when I heard Rebeca saying that Tom's testicles would be ideal
for a ‘handmade’ fig jam and that his cute little soft, strawberry-like penis
head she would ruthlessly pinch with her long nails till separated
from the stem. I looked at her with
depreciation and hoped to get a chance to ‘return the favor’, which I luckily
got.
I think we
all felt relieved when it was over. Linda, while showing an expression of mixed
irony and satisfaction, let us digest the exercise and cool off a bit. Suddenly,
Bob and Peter appeared, staring in disbelief, or rather shock, at the pile of
bizarre, often rather amateurish anatomical studies scattered on the floor, and
at us, sitting emotionally exhausted. They had no idea the game we played, but
feared they soon were going to get involved in some unorthodox ones, and
their poor genitals were going to play an important part inevitably…