This post is neither about the famous American movie, nor about the current supper hot weather, but about an unknown way to use a common women’s self defense tool. I think it will be quite informative but at the same time a little bit funny.
Last week I and my boyfriend Tom had a little accident. We
decided to make together a romantic evening to celebrate our 4th anniversary. You know to have a fancy dinner with some following lovemaking…We are still
not keen to go out for a dinner with the current third wave, so we stayed at
home. I prepared his favored chicken tacos.
The dinner was great, he loved the food, but I totally ruined what was supposed
to come afterwards. After some kissing and cuddling I went downstairs on him,
you know what I mean. But shockingly instead of moaning from pleasure he suddenly yelled “It burns! It f.cking burns!” and jumped like a banshee. First I had
no idea what happened.
“I think it’s
that thing!” he pointed towards the green
pieces of jalapeños in the leftovers. Then I got it, when I was chopping the jalapeños,
some juices must have left on my fingers and then I transferred it on his dick head.
Instead of a romantic ending that evening we were trying all sorts of remedies
we found on internet, even using the ice cream we had for desert to rub it off.
Grose! We could not continue with our ‘stuff’ that night. He is OK now, just that thingy stayed a
little bit reddish and swollen for some time.
capsaicin, a devilish compound |
When used correctly, a pepper spray can be a woman's best friend |
https://www.facebook.com/watch/?v=1970613749835377
You can expect the same dramatic effect on your attacker. While he is
focused on his ‘helmet on fire’, he forgets his other sensitive organs become
fully unprotected and available for follow up techniques. A nice well placed testicle kick or a knee would for sure double
remind him he should have kept his filthy genitals in his pants.
Peter peppers |
As always, our self defense class would not be complete without a practical demonstration. This time Linda brought a pair of red chili peppers she grows in her garden. “These are quite rare, called Peter peppers as they come in a shape of penis,” she said as she showed them to us. We all gawked at the little ‘penises’ in amazement. Linda immediately warned us “Well, do not even think to use them for what you are maybe thinking about. The vagina is of course highly sensitive to capsaicin as well.”
“This one really looks like the penis of our Peter,” humorously commented Ana, referring to the shape of a partially exposed penis head. We all chuckled as she was spot on, Peter’s foreskin, although he is not circumcised does not fully cover his glans penis.
Penis with partially exposed head similar to Peter's, highly susceptible to 'peppering' |
Linda immediately proposed “Let’s put this to the test!” Boys were working out on the other side of the training room,
while we had this interesting theoretical lecture. Sometimes it was better they
did not hear what we were talking about.
Linda squashed one of the peppers in her hand.
“Peter come
over here! We just want to test something.”
When he unsuspectedly came close to her. She just quickly
slipped her hand in his shorts and took it out. The reaction of Peter does not need
to be described, based what you already read in this post you can imagine.... The
theory was readily confirmed…
I conclusion I highly recommend buying a pepper spray and do
not forget to use it on both of his heads. When cutting chilies use gloves and
wash your hands thoroughly afterwards especially when you want to make some
lovemaking 😊.