The art of kneeing (part 5)

“Come over here!” Linda ordered Bob to stand beside the small punching bag. She then used her straightened hand to get the position of his testicles and by pulling the rope she leveled the small punching bag at the right height.

“Finally! The height is correct… but the size and softness are of course not!” she smiled and gently grabbed Bob’s bulge between his legs. His body frantically flinched—not from the discomfort or pain but rather from fear. Understandably, having testicles in Linda’s hand can be frightening, but this time she was just friendly teasing him. She briefly patted him on his head to thank him for his assistance and told him to step aside so she can explain to us the following activity.

“As I told you already, for perfect kneeing both precision and force work must work together to achieve the desired goal. Precision is needed to get the right spot and the maximum force ensures that a testicle or both are forcefully compressed between the striking area on your upper knee and the attacker’s pubic bone causing sufficient damage, preferably testicular rupture.”  I could see Bob and Peter winced after Linda’s comment.

Punching or speed bags are essential
equipment for mastering kneeing

“This exercise is in a way similar to football juggling, just this time with an emphasis on strength. You probably have heard of the expressions such as ‘Knee his balls up to his throat!’ or ‘Shoot them to the universe!’ These are actually very fitting metaphors highlighting the necessity of mustering great force as well as using the upward direction. Let me demonstrate.”

Linda stood in front of the bag “Imagine for a moment this speed bag is man’s testicles. The aim of this exercise is to knee the bag with all your might, so you shoot it up as high as possible.”

She explained further “You are all righthanded so use your dominant right leg; charge your body by stepping a bit back; the trajectory of your knee should follow a 45-degree angle; engage your hips to get better momentum. Also, correct breathing is crucial. You inhale deeply while you put your right leg back and exhale with a loud kiai! while bringing your thigh up explosively.  Imagine the impact zone is actually not the bottom of the bag but is positioned much higher, somewhere here, on the level of your belly button,” Linda marked the virtual impact point with her finger. “This way you fully utilize the power and momentum of your thigh,” she added.

Our teacher continued the demonstration “Simultaneously, with your hands, you are going to grab an imaginative opponent at the shoulders and pull down to increase your lift…like this.” She then performed the whole movement including horrifically sounding loud kiai!. Her knee contacted the bottom of the speed bag at high speed, released a thug sound, and sent it to a straight upward ride at least a meter in the air. Linda winked at us satisfied “You can also shout ‘crush!’ or ‘pop!’ instead if you want.”  

She then clapped her hands “OK girls, let’s make a competition, you will go in rounds, and the one who can bring it the highest is the winner.” She turned to Peter with a request “Peter, the girls will need your assistance to put the bag back and make it still after each shot so they can keep going swiftly.”

The exercise, although as weird as it sounded was again a lot of fun. And of course, ‘pop!’ was the most popular shout 😊. But OMG, the speed bag was not light at all, it had at least a few kilograms; when trying to strike it with full force, it actually hurt! So in the end, we were caressing our aching knees and thighs. Peter always quickly moved out from the spot of action in case an over-eager girl misfired, unintentionally or maybe intentionally 😉. Linda continuously commented on our tries to correct our failures, which often include insufficient breathing, not using the hips, and not fully utilizing the momentum of the thigh. We all cheered at particularly successful tries.   

Peter's sarcastic grin did not last long

It was difficult to precisely assess the height the bag reached but we agreed that Tania and Ana were the most capable and shot the bag almost as high as Linda. On the other hand, petite Laura struggled with the assignment which clearly caused some frustration, exacerbated by Peter’s ironic grin on his face. She acted up by grabbing him by the shoulders and raising her knee which stopped literally just millimeters from his manhood and mischievously shouted ‘pop!’. “Linda, I think it is the time we move on to some softer ‘poppable’ targets.” She put emphasis on the word poppable.

 We were all laughing, and Linda smiled as well  “Don’t be impatient Laura, you will get the chance to test your gained skills soon.”  I think we all knew that at some point we will train kneeing with ‘real testicles’ and were curious how it will all come about.  Nevertheless, this conversation effectively removed that sarcastic grin from Peter’s face. When Laura turned around, she purposely swung her hand back, so it made inconspicuous contact with his sensitive bits. He flinched and cried out weak auuu!. Laura turned back “What!? we haven’t started yet.”

High knee is an excellent work out exercise for
mastering kneeing 

Linda saved the day “OK girls, that is it for today, come I have some homework for you,” she waved to summon us for a talk. I see there is definitely some deficit in your physique. When I was your age, I did aerobics. It is an excellent workout system and has some excellent moves to practice self defense strikes. You do not need any equipment and you can do it basically everywhere. For the coming days, I want you to practice the so-called high knee. It is a great cardio exercise and strengthens all muscles in the legs so it should help you to improve your kneeing capability. It is like running in place, lifting your knees high, up to your chest quickly. Do it for a few minutes in the morning and in the evening.” She then stood up in front of us and showed us the exercise. “Start doing it first at a low pace; you can then gradually add more time and speed.”  Seemed easy, and I agreed with Linda we should exercise more, I was just wondering how I should explain to Tom what I am practicing this time…

to be continued...