To hull strawberries (part 1) 🍓 🍓

The last time I went to a grocery store and saw the price tag of imported strawberries I wished the season is coming soon and I can get some fresh from the local farms for a much better price…and cook my favorite strawberry cake… yummy. Thinking about strawberries brought back memories of a particularly exciting class when we learned the power of pinching and clawing for self defense. As I told you already, Linda owns a small summerhouse in the countryside with a garden and an orchard and grows all kinds of fruits, in an organic and sustainable way. She often shared the harvest with us so we could snack on it before classes and gain some energy and use those fruits as educational tools and substitutes for male anatomical parts.

Strawberry huller

I remember one time she brought a whole basket full of huge, red, and sweet strawberries. Believe me, these were the best strawberries I have ever had. While we were indulging in the delicious fruits and feeding some to (begging) Bob and Peter, Linda again surprised us with a strange object she took from her bag. She explained to us “I saw you struggling to pinch off the stem, we all know how cumbersome and messy it is, don’t we?  If you need to process a rich harvest for preservation or for making a jam this gadget really helps to save time, nerves, and precious fruits. Have a look at how it works.” She took a strawberry, pressed the button to open the pincers, dug them deep into the top of the strawberry, turned it a bit, released the button on the back of the handle, and then pulled the whole stem chunk away.  “Quite nifty, isn’t it?” Indeed, but we all knew she did not show us this rare kitchen utensil just to give us some fruit-processing advice.

While we were standing around her, she asked us. “Ladies, show me your fingernails!” We were all surprised by her request, but we all raised our hands up for her to inspect them. Well, I was a bit ashamed because, honestly, I do not put much effort into manicures and wear no nail extensions. To me, they look oddly long and often fall off. I rather trim and clean my fingernails regularly and I occasionally put transparent nail polish, that’s it. Admittingly some of us really have beautifully groomed fingernails and Laura wore nail extensions with a cute colorful dotty pattern.

Having a nice manicure is not only for looks 

Linda explained to us why she was interested. “You can use your fingers and fingernails the same way as this huller’s prongs to inflict a serious injury on a male body.  Fingernails are some of the best self defense tools a woman carries with her all the time. They can be used for poking, clawing, scratching, and pinching. I can see you all take good care of your fingernails, but not all have the right length; long nails can break, and short nails do not penetrate deep enough. The best is to keep them around 0.4-0.5 cm long. Also, the almond shape is better than the squared. Like mine or Susanne’s,” she raised her hand so we all could see and smiled, “we are well prepared for a dangerous encounter.”

She continued with the lecture. “Basically, you can pinch on any place of the male body which is momentarily available to you and cause some discomfort but there is a couple of vital points that are the most vulnerable on which you can cause serious damage,” she quickly added, “obviously many of those points are located on male genitals.” 

Natural fingernails in the almond shape of the
 right length can be a dangerous weapon

“You can skin his penis and dehull his testicles and seriously mess up the internal plumbing beyond repair with a little effort. This would stop even the toughest man in his track.”  She emphasized the word ‘dehull’ used in a metaphoric way but sounded horrific. “Well, enough theory, let’s see how it is applied to some real genitals.” She turned to Bob and Peter standing by. “Who of you two wants to volunteer for this demonstration?”

It was obvious that both guys already felt quite uncomfortable after her speech even though it was just about fingernails and pinching. They already knew that even a girly style of fighting can turn out to be brutal in Linda’s hands, literally. Their poor faces looked like the chunks of those strawberries stuck in their throats. They were of course very hesitant to step in as test models for this precarious activity.  

“The volunteer will get this nice strawberry from me” Laura tried to get her preferred volunteer by waving with nice juicy fruit in her hand and looking at Peter with a luring look, but he remained hesitant and tried to drift away from us. At some point, Linda became impatient, and grabbed the closest standing chap—Bob, and pulled him into the center of the arena.

Linda used to pat the boys on the butt as a sign of
appreciation and to calm them down

“Man up, you little squirrel, it’s just a demonstration!”  Without losing any further moment, she squatted next to him, pulled down his gym shorts and boxers, and exposed his swinging genitals. Maybe totally bizarre and surreal for most people but we have already accustomed to these situations and because we were in some kind of ‘fruity’ mood, we felt compelled to juice it up.  

“What nice two kiwis, we have got!” exclaimed Ana. “And a little banana as well,” I added, “Let’s chop it into a tasty fruit salad.” Linda rolled her eyes and looked at us strictly. “Easy, easy girls, act like adults, please. Be thankful to Bob,” she patted him caringly on his naked butt as a sign of appreciation and to calm him down.

She then proceeded with her detailed anatomical examination of the sensitive spots and apparently, there were many! 😊  “Let’s start with the penis for a change. This part is obviously accessible when he demands a blow or hand job, attacking the penis with your hands and making it unfunctional essentially prevents him from using his tool for an attack and making an opening for following moves. But it must be done correctly for the maximum effect.” After she said that, she held Bob’s flaccid organ with her left hand, bent it upward, and then with the other hand she pulled back his foreskin so the whole glans popped up.  

Despite Linda’s request to get serious and respectful, I think it was Ana who again commented. “Hmmm, and now we have got a nice red strawberry”, referring to the shape and reddish color of the organ which was now sticking out from Linda’s grasp. Because the approximation was so spot on it put a smile on Linda’s face and she let it be.  

“Instead of this immature banter come closer so you can see. The object is not very big, and I won’t repeat it.” We all chuckled and packed around Bob’s waist for a better look at the ‘far from sizeable’ subject. Linda was really pulling Bob’s foreskin till it was tight, which, based on the grimace on his face, was clearly discomforting for him. “You see this triangle of skin, what is it called?” asked Linda.  Susanne as always was very eager to show off her medical knowledge and immediately replied “It is called the frenulum.”

The nail of the pointer finger can be used to hook behind the frenulum (A)
or sink it deep in the meatus (B). Use the thumb to close the pinch, twist, and pull sharply. 

Linda nodded “Correct, this flap of skin attaches the foreskin to the glans penis. It is a very sensitive and highly innervated area, also very fragile, and susceptible to tearing.  Now see, you can relatively easily hook your fingernails around and pull with a sharp twist to tear it” She did exactly what she was saying but the pull and twist were rather demonstrating and gentle. Important, just be sure you hook your fingernails well behind. Damaging this structure will be very painful and prevent an attacker from continuing the attack. I knew that spot is sensitive, and Tom likes it a lot that I pay attention to it when I do him a blow job, but never thought of it as a target for self defense.

Linda moved on to the next target. “Let’s continue with the meatus, it is the opening of the urethra from which all the stuff goes out. It is actually wider than you think, and you can sink the fingernail of your pointer finger deeply in and then use your thumb as a counter for a sharp tweak. This is well working if you have pointy and long fingernails.” Her demonstration was again mild but still caused some discomfort and cringed face of Bob. On the other hand, Peter seemed to be relieved he was not chosen for this ‘activity’, but probably he suspected not for long. At some point Bob’s penis got stiffer, it was not fully erect just sticking out at a 90° angle and the foreskin stayed retracted so Linda could let go of the hold and use both her hands for demonstration and gesturing.  

“Now I am going to explain the method called ‘clawing the head’, very effective on the erect penis. She then pointed at the groove behind the penis head. This grove in anatomy called the coronal sulcus is conveniently shaped for hooking in the fingernails. She then gently lifted the fold of tissue with the nail of her pointer finger. You should start by forming a claw with your thumb, pointer, and middle finger, then sink the nails deep in the groove and pull. You obviously can’t remove the whole penis head, but you can cause serious laceration and bleeding and of course unbearable sharp pain.” Bob got frightened and started to breathe heavily when Linda formed the claw and softly nudged the fingernails in the seam of sensitive flesh.

The penis can be attacked by pinching e.g. the frenulum (A) or clawing the head (B). 

“Always remember to dig your fingernails deep in and pull violently while the nails are buried in the flesh. He will be a great pain and shock and you can use the startling moment to continue with other techniques, for instance, on readily available target—testicles.”

Linda suddenly surprised us “Who wanna try it out?” We all immediately raised our hands, just Tania stepped back. She always refrained from these exercises involving touching bare guys and Linda accepted that. “Bob will be for sure nice and let you try, don’t you?” Bob received another pat from Linda on his butt. He nodded in agreement, but I don’t think he had any other option 😊. Let’s go one by one and try out these three techniques I just explained to you but be careful, we don’t want to take away this little strawberry from Bob’s girlfriend. She gently rubbed the part she was referring to with her fingertips.

Some of us were really excited to try. Laura was impatiently flopping her long nail extension in anticipation and made a pledge “I’ll be very careful, I promise!” Promises, promises, but Bob shook and jolted uncontrollably from time to time as the girl’s sharp horny protrusions clawed in the specified places and enacted the move. Poor Bob, but well, no way around it. Sure we could use rubber dildos, but for these techniques, it wouldn’t be realistic enough. We needed to feel and inspect the real anatomical features, so Linda as always took the direct approach. It was indeed very educational how the fingernail shape and length are important; my short fingernails could not pierce deep or form good pincers. At that moment I decided to grow them longer. Practicality or aesthetics aside, safety first! 😊  

It was funny how some of us got deeply absorbed in the exercise. Probably because we have never thought about such extraordinary use of our fingernails. Although some of us clearly wanted to continue the drill, at some point keeping the time schedule prevailed and Linda closed this session, “OK enough, thank you, Bob, I think you had enough,” and pulled back his shorts over his now fully erect penis so it formed a funny mound. Then she used the hand, which just a moment before was demonstrating the mangling of his manhood, to caress him on his (upper) head. “That was for the penis, I think for the death pinch demonstration we need a relaxed scrotum,” and turned to Peter…

 To be continued…