The greatest women’s weapons 👠 (part 1)

 Carrying guns or any self-defense tools is impractical and, in some countries, even illegal. There is an old saying in my community that the greatest woman’s weapon is her charm😊. Who would disagree but not very useful in a self-defense situation, is it? However, there are some other weapons that we often wear or carry without even realizing.

One day Linda surprised us at the end of the class with an unusual announcement. “Next class we are going to have a party, so come adequately dressed. It applies to you two as well, she pointed at surprised Bob and Peter.” We all were already accustomed to her strange ideas and unconventional pedagogic approaches but why not?

“Party with Linda, that’s gone be fun! With all those exams and stress, I am ready for some fiesta!” joyfully exclaimed Ana when we headed for the showers…

Burgundy midi dress was
my choice for Linda's party 

In the afternoon before the class, standing in front of my wardrobe I got into total panic mode. I was a university student living on a budget, so my closets were not overfilled with the latest fashion pieces. I did not go often clubbing or to parties and by no means I am a show-off person. I spent my spare money on casual clothes I could wear on different occasions, classes, exams, and visits to my family.

“Damn it, it is what it is!” I grabbed my wine high school prom midi dress, beige high heels sandals, and a small purse I got from my mom. What a relief it was that the dress still fitted almost perfectly. I put my hair in a low bun and put on make-up, rather modest. “Should do just fine!” I assessed my look in the mirror. It is going to be a self-defense lesson after all not a fashion show.

When I entered the dojo, I was greeted by loud chatter, careless laughs, and the smell of perfume and some oldies music, all indicating a real party was already going on. Linda, most of my classmates and Bob and Peter were already in. It was amazing how other girls dealt with Linda’s unusual request. One could see all types of dresses, some more casual outfits such as a white shirt and jeans worn by Rebecca to some creative high-end pieces such as Louise's chic sequin bodycon dress. Bob and Peter just wore some fancy slim-fit T-shirts and jeans and sneakers. But still, they looked cool, their fit bodies were always their prime peacock plumage.

Linda waved at me and offered me a drink. Non-alcoholic of course. She looked completely different in a one-piece pantsuit with a floral pattern. That strict athletic trainer we used to know, now became a glamorous party enchantress.

The mood was great but unfortunately, the fun did not last long.  Linda suddenly interrupted our excited banter, turned off the music, and announced that it was time to start the class. She finally revealed why all of this.  

There are different types of high heel shoes,
all can be an excellent weapon

“Well, it was no mistake I asked you to come dressed like this. I want you to be prepared for all possible situations and most likely you won't be attacked when in sneakers and gym sweatpants. Statistics show that many sex attacks occur during parties, celebrations, team building, and other social gatherings when inappropriate sex behavior and sex attacks are driven by alcohol, flamboyant atmosphere, and revealing dresses. Importantly, always remember you can turn parts of your outfit into very useful self-defense assets. No need to carry any cumbersome and conspicuous self-dense tools, that are hard to fit in a small purse. This is the reason we are having such an unusual class today. I want you to teach me how to utilize the things you have readily at your disposal in these situations”  

She glanced at our legs. “I see most of you put on different footwear types with high heels on. Good choice! Self-proclaimed experts often say that you should prefer wearing something sportier that allows you to run away fast when needed. Hmm…Those people probably did not see Claire running from the old Tyrannosaurus in Jurassic World 😊.”

“Joking aside,” Linda continued, “If you need to run fast from any danger, obviously you should take them off, but you can also turn such footwear into an excellent weapon. Let me demonstrate.”

Take the high heel shoe off and use it as a weapon.

She removed one of her red stiletto shoes and held it in front of us. “Because of its form such a shoe is a versatile defense tool, you can use it when you still have it on your foot as a hard spikey extension of your leg or by firmly holding it in your hand. The heel part is a great poking, hooking, raking, or trampling device. The thinner and harder the heel part, the better.”  

She pointed at the black top piece. “The surface area of the top piece is app 1 to 2 square cm and when standing you exert pressure over 200 atmospheres!”

She took a walnut from her pocket, put it on the floor, and trod it. It immediately shattered into small pieces and splatted all over the place. I just recalled how difficult it was when we learned the nutcracker technique and tried to crack the walnuts in our hands.

“Not only heels but also a hard-toe box is an excellent kicking surface against any soft area on the male body.”  We all knew what kind of prime target point she had on her mind.

She asked Peter to come closer so she could show us all the possibilities for the male body's anatomical destruction. “I see an attacker approaching me, or he is close to me and already touching me without my permission and making some unwanted sexual advances. So, I take off one of my shoes. It is important to hold it like this, very firmly. I can now poke him in the eyes or hit him in the temple, and once he is now covering the injured parts on his face and being distracted, I can go downwards, and with a sharp circular motion I hook the scrotum sack, well behind like this and pull sharply outwards, like you wanted to completely remove that pendent part of his body.” We sighed as she, totally insensibly to the scared expression on Peter’s face, demonstrated the move, not forcefully but informatively. We all cringed as Peter's bulge protruded because of being hooked by Linda’s new fashion weapon of mass destruction.

Linda explained further. “This move is effective even if has his pants on, of course, the best effect can be achieved when he is in underwear or exposed.” After those words, Peter looked absolutely agitated, clearly because realizing he was not going to get away from such a type of detailed and realistic demonstration. “With the shoe still on my foot, I can kick, stomp on his instep, or rake his shin.”

She turned around so Peter appeared behind her. “Especially deadly are rear scoop or mule kicks with high heels.” To show us what she means, she swung up swiftly her leg and the stiletto gently lifted one side of Peter’s package. “When done with force and precisely, testicle destruction is inevitable,” Linda added. I don’t think none of my classmates would have any doubts the moves Linda was showing are to be devastating. Peter's expressions showed he would not either. 

“Now let’s see how it works when the target is fully exposed,” she made a commanding gesture toward Peter. Peter, obviously not that willingly, unfastened his belt and pulled down his pants and boxers. Not the first time we got a full sight of his willy and hairy young man’s low hangers, but some blushing was unavoidable.

Hook the testicles well in the groove
in the back of his scrotum and pull sharply outwards. 

“So now we have a situation where the attacker is close and exposed, he wants to proceed with a forced sexual act. No obstruction ahead, time to do the hooking unexpectedly but resolutely. But be sure you latch the top piece well in the groove of the rear skin pouch and pull as much as possible, using the momentum of your arm.” She again did that, and the scrotum was tugged upwards and away from his body. Poor Peter got lifted on his feet and moved forward to ease the pull. The two hairy oval organs jutted out and the penis got pushed to the side.  

We wanted to be sympathetic and professional but some of us could not resist chuckling a bit. The sight was simply too funny. But we understood the necessity of these demonstrations for learning the techniques and that if performed in full force Peter or any other guy would lose his two orbs forever. Linda finally eased the tug, let the male organs again hang in their place, patted relieved Peter on the shoulder, and let him take care of his little bit disturbed testicles. And we were looking forward to the following practice….