The low-hanging fruits of female self defense

Low-hanging fruits have various
metaphorical meanings 

Sometime in the middle of our course, Peter and Bob had an important training session for a competition and could not come to our class, so Linda arranged for us a midterm round discussion. It was supposed to be a more informal meeting so we could, in a cozy and relaxed atmosphere, wrap up the past sessions, discuss the challenges of our training and to clarify issues for which there was no room during the regular classes. 

 We already knew Linda owns a small summerhouse in the countryside on the outskirts of our city. The house is small but with a large orchard full of fruit trees. She grows quite some varieties; plum, apple, pear, walnut, cherry trees, but she even managed to successfully cultivate some that are normally not that well suitable for the climate of our country like peaches, apricots and even kiwis! So now you know, where all the fruits used at the course come from. We did not mind, sometimes we left the classes with delicious healthy snacks in our pockets. 

We sat down on mats around Linda, got into the most comfortable positions and she initiated the round discussion with a story. “When the time of harvest comes, I go to my orchard with a basket and start picking the ripe fruits, first those being on the lower branches. These I can conveniently reach from the ground, but to get to those hanging higher up in the tree I must fetch a ladder. The higher the fruits hang the more difficult is to get them. However, those upper fruits receive more sunshine and are bigger and sweeter. There is even a saying in English ‘Do not go for the low hanging fruits.’ “Do you know what the expression ‘low-hanging fruits’ mean?” Linda asked the girl audience. “The most easily and quickly achievable task?” replied Susanne. “Exactly,” nodded Linda. “It is mainly used as business jargon, but for female self defense theory it has an important metaphorical meaning as well. Low-hanging fruits is of course a metaphor for testicles. As you already learned, going for testicles when defending from a man is the easiest and the most straightforward way to go. Furthermore, the lowest the testicles hang the more easily the task is achievable. You already learned some of the testicle-targeting techniques and that most of them are much easier to perform on a man with loose than with a tight scrotum.”

 

Jockstrap was invented in 19th century
to avoid injuries of low-hanging testicles 

Linda then highlighted this issue with a historical inside, “To circumvent this male vulnerability there was even a protective undergarment invented for athletes already in 19th century. A jockstrap is based on a simple principle to lift the male organs closer to his body and keep it all tight and packed to at least partially avoid the possibility of injury. It is effective even if no other hard cup or box is included. But keep in mind, rapists do not wear any protective garments. They are confident they can get away with their intentions. They would anyway have to remove it and expose their genitals at some point of the attack”. 

Linda then switched to biology, “Interestingly, the cremaster muscle does the same thing for a man as a jockstrap during fear, cold, or a sexual intercourse.” “Indeed, a wild sex can be a dangerous activity for testicles,” Linda added humorously. “Our professor of biology at the university used the paradox of testicles hanging outside as an example of an evolutionary trait for which evolutionary biologists are having hard time to find an explanation. She said that the theory about the low temperature sperm production is now disputed by many scientists. It is rather the sperm production being adapted on lower temperatures than other way around. For instance, some mammals do have internal testes. Imagine a dolphin with a flapping scrotum as he jumps out of the water or an elephant with two giant wrecking balls between his legs!” That wild imagination gave us some laughs. Linda then continued, “One theory says it might balance the differences between men and women in terms of physical fighting abilities. It is simply an anatomical weakness of which men must be extremely cautious and careful about. Nevertheless, we do not know yet everything about male sexual physiology and many things remain quite mysterious for science.” 

It was clear that the topic grabbed the girls’ attention and sparked a very intensive debate. Ana said that her boyfriend has low hanging testicles, and she loves it. Before she thought that only older guys have such saggy balls, but her boyfriend is only 22 and according to her, he hangs lower than her granddad! She finds it funny and cute when his ‘bolas’ swing erratically when he walks around the apartment naked. Once he was stealing from her portion of the sweets they received from her grandma, so she flicked him there. “Well, his mistake,” she said. “I got then all the sweets just for me!” Rebeca said that all the guys she dated so far have had rather a tight scrotum. “But I have never cared or thought much about it; I have been more interested in their penises anyway.” Emma reacted immediately to this, “I envy you Rebeca, I have not been that lucky. Too saggy, hairy and wrinkled balls simply gross me out; they also tend to be sweatier and smellier.” Susanne was the medical student at the time and the oldest of us, so she was more interested in the fertility aspect than aesthetics. She said that her boyfriend always gets from her a pack of nice loose shorts for the Valentine’s day so his testicles have enough room and the right temperature for the sperm production. She said she does not like the current trend of tight boxers and briefs; she has to always order her present online because airy shorts are normally difficult to get. She finished with a statement “Those sperm factories simply need a good ventilation!” 

I continued the discussion with my observation that my boyfriend’s testicles react a lot to temperature. I also noticed when they hang low, they are really in danger of various accidents. I told the girls a story when he squished his left testicle between his thigh and a chair during our romantic dinner. “The first moment I thought he screamed because the food was too hot!” Laura added, that once she read a story in a tabloid magazine about a humorous but at the same time serious accident. A man trapped one of his testicles between a toilet seat and bowl. He had to have a surgery done and he had to stay in a hospital for a couple of days, luckily, they saved his ball eventually. The man told the interviewer it was the worst pain imaginable. Tania was the only lesbian in our group and she just nailed this debate with an ironic comment, “Thanks God, I do not have to deal with such oddities!” 

The smile on Linda’s face revealed she is happy that the discussion got nicely initiated, girls lost their shyness and could talk openly about some touchy topics of male physiology so we can get into more serious aspects of female self defense…

P.S.

Now I allowed the anonymous comments again but so far still  moderated. I ask you do not misuse it as it happened week ago. I want to allow open discussion on sensitive subjects. We do not have to agree on everything and you can be critical, but I will not tolerate spamming with just offensive comments and hatred.