Sunday, 24 November 2024

Jawbreakers 👄🍭 part 1

Popping a grape with teeth
There is possibly no topic more controversial than biting as a last resort of self defense technique, and several impatient commenters have been asking me to cover this issue for a long time. Maybe I delayed writing about it because it requires my earnest engagement. Not surprisingly, getting the concept of biting right was an essential part of Linda’s course curriculum. She always mentored us that it is important to keep our teeth set in good condition not only for health and beauty but also because one day can serve as a reliable secret weapon for some of the most effective (and surely brutal) self defense counteractions when in close quarters. Linda once said: “Don’t be discouraged that many consider biting some kind of pathetic girly fighting. You got to do what you got to do, which includes inflicting some serious injury by all means possible.” Linda always stressed she does not teach martial arts or sports but no-rules survival tactics and biting is undoubtedly one of such effective strategies highly applicable for certain situations.

Biting as an intimate activity can be also a good training 
Firstly, you have to understand what Linda meant by ‘biting’. It is not some kind of playful nibbling at erogenous zones that you do with your boyfriend as part of cute aggression during foreplay (no secret here, have a lot of experience with Tom) but once you decide to go this way, it has to be violent: sinking the teeth deeply in, munching, gnawing,  popping, or tearing to remove chunks of weak parts of male body parts: ears, lips, nose, tongue and not surprisingly also glans penis and testicles. Linda called these techniques jawbreakers—large American-style layered hard candies in the shape of large balls, you lick or put into your mouth and suck on it. Attempting to crush it, without softening puts your jaws and teeth at risk of damage, but when defending, this should be your least concern. As always, she also gave appropriate names for separate wounding techniques, usually referring to kitchen gadgets. I guess you can imagine what the cucumber slicer or cherry pitter means. Sorry for making you cringe, but it always helped with visualization and understanding the principle.

One of the downsides is it can be repulsive and when executed as required, it results in drawing the attacker’s blood and a serious risk of infection. Hence biting should be resorted for situations when no other options are available, for instance, your limb movement is restricted, your hands are tied, or when needed to be employed for additional strikes. Logically using teeth is possibly the most applicable during forced oral sex when those delicate male appendages are almost offered to you to take a good bite and send him into shock.  

American candy called jawbreaker gave the name to techniques
involving the mouth. They even come in egg shape 
Most of you are often extremely triggered by the fact that we were lucky to be granted the extraordinary opportunity to test our skills on our ‘toothsome’ darling attackers Bob and Peter.  Their involvement in our training and practice, was not a walk in the park for them, sure, and as for other techniques they had to offer even their most precious, bare reproductive organs for our ‘exploration and exploitation’. There is no learning without doing, no exceptions, sorry boys!😉  Of course, we did not bite Bob and Peter’s penis heads off or make chewing gums from their testes. Linda responsibly oversaw us and enforced a safe concept of exercises, but also carefully accommodated our different needs: some of us were shyer than others, some took (maybe too seriously) the issue of safety and sanitation, and some were concerned about ethics and Bob and Peter's well-being. But her arrangements and adjustment to the curriculum never came at the expense of our proper training. Understandably no excessively hard, skin-breaking pressure was allowed (this was reserved for genital substitutes only), but still, those two poor heroes left the dojo with some visible bitemarks on their willies and beans having something to explain to their girlfriends😊.

It sounds unfair and overboard but it brought a lot of fun, and creativity as well as blushes on faces, especially of those coursemates not accustomed to bringing out their fangs in bed.  Who would think there is a whole science behind the method of sucking a whole scrotum in the mouth,  firmly securing an ill-fated testis in the right place between molars before crushing it into oblivion like a grape, or how to completely severe the male head, I mean the one down there? It was as it sounds: dramatic, drastic, and deadly, and those who pity Bob and Peter I can't blame you. Just listening to Linda's detailed instructions, safety warnings and expected results made them a bundle of nerves.  Having a willing male partner and peppering your sex life with soft biting is of advantage, but in this post, I would like to touch upon the possible equipment, helpful for everyday routine and fostering your skills. Most of them you can buy in a local grocery store or even bake for yourself.  

Veggies and fruits: These are not only a healthy and tasty part of the diet but also affordable and easily accessible. Luckily we got tons of free supplies from Linda's garden. Their downside is that many do not represent either the right consistency, texture, or shape and size. Cucumbers and carrots are some of those obvious ones and can represent an erect penis, but biting through them is simply too easy. Testicular substitutes can be small fruits but be careful not to use those having a stone. Good examples are smaller unripe kiwis or cherry tomatoes. Just an advice, always wash the fruit/vegetable beforehand to remove the harmful pesticides and dirt.

Licorice penis batons 
Candies: Do you know those Chupa Chups lollipops with a spherical hard shell with a juicy chewy surprise insight? I was crazy about them when I was younger, I always could not resist, after softening it a bit by sucking and licking, then gnawing at it hard to crush it to get to the sour fruity but refreshing chewing gum. These threats are obviously quite unhealthy, they put in a lot of additives and colorants and tons of sugar, but as an occasional joy, I think it is acceptable. Good news, from now on, you can always justify buying them with the additional benefit of testicle-crushing training. 😊 On the other hand, I am not a big fan of licorice, but some licorice sweets often come in the shape of batons and even penises and have favorable firmness and chewy consistency. Unfortunately, their size is often too small for proper penis analogs. However, I found numerous recipes online, so you can actually bake them at home in the right size and shape. Sounds like a fun weekend activity, doesn’t it?

Realistic vibrators can be also
a multipurpose equipment  
Meat: Meat and meat products are possibly the closest substitutes for human anatomical parts when it comes to consistency. Taking large bites like a hungry lioness from a rare steak or ‘decapitating’ a hard paprika sausage to practice flesh-tearing and chopping skills can be another excuse not to always eat according to modern healthy nutrition recommendations.  

Sex toys: These can be quite expensive and nobody wants them destroyed in no time, even for the sake of self defense training, trust me.😊  However, their advantage over above mentioned substitutes is they come in a quite realistic shape, size, and texture. These true-to-nature substitutes can be used for acting out scenarios and a play-along approach with a dramatic ending. Some types of vibrators have a nice realistic set of silicone balls which can be highly applicable for practicing quick and secure sucking in testicles even those not so low hanging.

These are my tips but if you know any other good male genital substitutes let me know in the comments. To be continued…..

 

Monday, 14 October 2024

Balls of steel, balls of fear 🫣

Knowing physical self defense techniques is essential, but sometimes fighting is not even necessary to successfully thwart an unwanted advance or even a serious sex attack. Looking back I greatly appreciate that Linda took a very holistic approach to our training and comprehensively covered some crucial psychological aspects as well. As already mentioned the greatest irony of Nature is that the core of a man's masculinity is also the source of his greatest bodily and psychological vulnerability. Male external gonads produce the male hormone testosterone which drives aggression, and sperm which is critical for the continuation of the genetic lineage.

Grow some balls! It takes balls to do it!

Balls of steel? Not really. Rather balls of fear.
We all heard these sayings, didn’t we? Even in my language, we have similar expressions. Despite being just two little squishy pain generators in a fragile pouch of skin hanging between the legs, testicles across cultures symbolize manliness, courage, and boldness. Paradoxically, at the same time, their proud possession generates man's greatest anxiety. It is overwhelming angst of the possibility of failing in their protection which results in incredible pain, embarrassing situations, or worse, completely losing them and ending up permanently emasculated. They are called balls but just because of their spheric shape, not because they are sturdy as steel ball bearings😊; they are also called family jewels, precious two pendants to be protected at all costs, eggs, and nuts to signify their fragility and crackability.

Linda used to say: “Once you control his testicles, you control him completely, his body as his mind.” But it is not as easy as sounds. Boys learn from an early age that even slight accidental hits there hurt like hell, so they immediately try to protect them even if the threat is relatively negligible. So as already covered in one of my previous posts, distraction and deception are the keys to fully taking advantage of the vulnerability of testicles.

I remember, in high school boys tried to hit on us girls and to touch our tits and buttocks, and of course we protected our dignity and retaliated with quick knees into their boy bags. We hadn’t been provided with any training at that time, it was very instinctual and we just somehow picked it up. Even if we did not manage to properly connect with the right spot, the boys immediately crossed their legs, buckled, and rather backed off. Of course in instances when the knee connected well, the reaction was even more telling and the lesson was learned. Despite being horny, and apparently in the urge to explore and probe our female parts, they soon realized the vital danger and that it was not worth putting their sensitive organs in jeopardy. Although it was hilarious to observe the pitiful loss of machismo, I did not think much about it at that time.

Regardless of the level of muscularity,
men protect their testicles anxiously.  

Later when I attended Linda’s course I realized that having Bob and Peter on site was not only beneficial to effectively train the techniques on living “darling attackers” and real male organs but also to watch their natural reactions. It was telling when Linda just playfully flicked at their testicles with her hand, they timidly budged for safety. These were relatively lighthearted situations but when Linda started to explain some of her brutal techniques, they suspected their genitals were going to be used for some detailed realistic demonstrations. Even though they knew she was not going to do any harm or damage to their delicate organs they could not hide their anxiety behind the façade of invincible brave young men. 

It was all part of Linda's plan. It was not abstract or made up, it was genuine, and we could see it with our eyes, hear it with our ears, and learn from it. As young ladies appeared in the dangerous world, we soon became equipped with extraordinary knowledge and skills of how to put men to their knees and came to the realization men should fear us not the other way around.

 Our empowerment was born!

One of the unresolved issues of female self defense, even Linda was not definite about is whether we should let a potential attacker know what are we capable of to deter him from even trying something on. Or the other way around, should we rather keep our little brutal tricks in secret so we can unleash them unexpectedly when he is the most vulnerable and even exposed? Both approaches are valid, it all depends on the situation and encounter and type of attacker. In the first case, if you decide to go that way, it calls for some vivid descriptions of what can happen to his testicles when he disrespects your no.  Another tip is, when already fighting, loud shouts with each execution of a technique can be quite frightening, but not exactly the classical kiah! like in karate, but rather pop! crush! or rip!

I would like to finish this interesting topic with a related inspirational story. An anonymous blog reader sent me a very interesting story from his sister which greatly demonstrates the power of inducing male panic in preventing sex attacks and harassment.

Just holding a knife can induce fear and
 quickly solve a sticky situation. 
My sister had just finished a night of partying out on the town in a big city. She keeps a hunting knife with a 6-7 inch blade under the driver's seat. An unknown guy pulled down his pants exposing himself to my sister and her girlfriend close to the passenger side window.

Her friend in the passenger seat was freaking out. My sister told her friend to roll down the window. The girlfriend initially said no but my sister said don't worry we're okay and showed her friend the knife. "Just play along with me and we'll teach him a lesson," she said. My sister pulled the knife out of the sheath and handed it to her friend as she rolled down the window. She acted like she was sharpening the knife blade on a barber's leather razor strap (her palm). They both started talking to the pervert. Come here little man we'd like to see it closer while still acting like she was sharpening the knife on her wrist.

The guy saw the large knife and started walking away. My sister followed him with her 4-wheel drive jeep driving up onto the sidewalk while they were still asking him to come closer to the passenger side window. Saying "Come here little man we want to see it closer. Don't be afraid". They said over and over again. The man turned into a dark alley and my sister stopped following him and drove home.

Quick thinking on the girls' side enabled them to solve the situation without any physical contact. The guy will think twice to try it on again, next time the knife could be rather hidden… 

Tuesday, 27 August 2024

To have plum fun 🟣🟣

The summer slowly comes to an end. The coming weeks are the peak season for autumn fruits; getting ripe and sweetened under the sun and their overabundance beyond our immediate consumption ability urges us to preserve them by canning, freezing, drying, or preparing a delicious thick jam, to be enjoyed during long cold winter.

Last week on Saturday, Tom went to see a football match with his pals and I decided to have a short nap after light lunch. Before I could close my eyes, suddenly the doorbell rang. Hmm, I was not expecting any visitors…. I rushed to open the door.

Plums are a precious gift of nature
“Surprise, surprise, Wendy! We brought you something yummy!” It was my beloved bubbly aunt Katrin with my cousin Brenda. In front of them 3 big crates full of nice purple plums. Together with my uncle Albert, they own an orchard in a very fertile and sunny countryside, including a couple of plum trees. Almost every year they enjoy a great harvest and in the past even distilled a strong aromatic plum spirit. Not anymore, they do not have time and energy anymore and rather avoid alcohol due to some health issues.

“We just thought you and Tom need some vitamins—pure organic goodies, not like those imported and sold in a store chain. You never know what they spray them with… Albert was so nice, he picked for you just the best ones from the uppermost branches, he almost fell from the ladder!”

I shook my head “As always Katrin…enough to feed an elephant!” I hugged and kissed them both and thanked them for this healthy and tasty nature-sourced gift.  While genuinely happy, I also outlooked a hard work shift to process it all, no siesta napping after all. Fortunately, Brenda immediately dispelled my worries.

“Don’t worry, Wendy, I can help you with all that.” She turned to her mother “I can come back later by bus, what do you think?”

Katrin nodded in agreement “Little sweethearts have some fun then. You haven't spent much time together lately, have you?”  She then waved us goodbye and while walking to the car she turned back and added. “Later you will also get some apples, those Jonagold, remember you like them a lot…..”

Brenda helped me to bring the heavy-loaded crates in. The fragrance of fresh fruits immediately filled our apartment. We both knew the drill and immediately rolled up our sleeves. We had to do sorting first; to separate those showing signs of damage, being too soft, or too hard will be left to finish the ripening process. Most will be pitted; depending on the quality, some will go into mason jars, and others will be cooked into jam. Taking each plum into the hand, felling it, opening it to remove the pit…  there was something strangely satisfying about those plums. Such beautiful objects!

Plums are an excellent substitute for testicles
Sounds weird, but it brought back some fond memories of the self defense course. Linda always considered plums to be one of the best substitutes for testicles, she often brought in her own and used them intensively for our training. The right size, oval shape, firmness, how they react to squashing between the fingers, and how the fruit stone inside symbolizes the seed of the next generation… funny, those most resembling are grown together as inseparable twins, often one bigger than the other … a pity there is no hair on them…otherwise the word perfect could be used!

That pile of fruity treasure kept us busy, but also it was the best time to finally have a chat with my darling cousin. It might have felt to her like an interrogation but I wanted to get all the news and gossip: about her summer job as a waitress, her new butterfly-shaped tattoo (I actually do not endorse), and of course spicy updates on dating boys. I always considered Brenda to be quite the opposite of me. She is a restless untamed young lady who thinks her world is her oyster. Being her age, I have never changed boyfriends like socks and parties mainly meant weddings and proms. However, I was pleased to learn she is heading to university this September to major in economics. Not a bad choice.

Listening to her I realized, that her lifestyle is full of dangers she may not realize. I am not her mum but I was compelled to step in. Some topics are not as cheerful as others and can be awkward, but necessary to be brought up, especially when talking to young ladies confident their careless behavior does not come with any risks. I too hated to be mentored and preached at her age but now I am slowly realizing from time to time, that I should have taken some good advice from those more life-experienced.

It was nice to have some fun with my cousin Brenda 

“Brenda, you should definitely take care of your safety. Have you for instance considered attending a self defense course? The university offers an excellent one for free. I can only recommend, don’t worry no old ladies type of stuff,  I had a lot of fun and you can learn many things and make some new friends.”  

Brenda was clearly surprised by the unexpected topic I brought up.

“Hmm nope…, why? These courses are just scams and a waste of time. I don’t think I can stand a chance against a man, regardless of what the progressive feminists say.  No secret tricks can help... sorry… you know it's like with bears: run away fast or…pray!“

I could not believe my ears. A young capable and otherwise confident lady talks so self-deprecatingly!

“Brenda, you are wrong, the myth that a woman cannot fight a man is utter bullshit. He might be tall, he might be strong, he might be fit and muscular, he might be doped. But always remember. The chain is as strong as the weakest link. For a man, his testicles and eyes are among the weakest links. Destroy those and you destroy him.” I preached.

She cringed. I know it sounded awkward but I knew it was important so I did not stop. “Let me show you something,” I picked a nice healthy firm plum, “Look at this plum, a testicle is quite similar to it in shape and consistency. Imagine this is a testicle of a pushy man disrespected your no and he already exposed himself to letting you fondle his genitals. Now you can conveniently put it in the palm of your right hand, close your fingers to create a secure grip, and by digging your thumb deep into the center of the fruit, you crush it completely in no time.”

I prefer plum twins for demonstration of self defense techniques. 

I did exactly what I was saying until the fleshy inside oozed out between my fingers leaving only the woody pit and mush smear in my palm. “You just tore the testis's fibrous cover tunica albuginea and the squashy seminiferous tubules got pushed out and are being reduced to a dysfunctional pulp. Luckily the gross mess would be contained in the scrotum,”  I explained the result explicitly in medical terms and then dropped the remaining mush into the pot intended for the jam.  “Basically, you emptied his balls but, differently than he wished for,” I finished with a pun, in maybe too sarcastic tone. 

I continued “Remember, if you could squash this plum, you could do the same to a bad guy testis. Do you think the testicle owner will be ready to bring it on after that? No, most likely he will be on the floor unconscious. As one of the best alternatives. And this is just one of many techniques, you would learn in the course... and you will be allowed to test them in real on some cute fit boys!” I said in a mysterious tone and winked at her.

Brenda looked at me with a mix of disbelief and amusement and seemingly tried to shy away from the cringe-worthy topic. “Hmm nice, but let's rather check our delicious product, should be almost ready, I wager.” She looked into the pot with a slowly simmering, first batch of jam. The jam was not yet thick enough so she let it cook longer.

But I knew I sparked her interest. At first, trying to pretend she was not that interested in my talk and demonstration, she suddenly took a sizable plum and started to inspect it. She handled all kinds of fruits before but probably has never thought about the brutal stuff I just talked about. Then out of the blue, she replicated my act. Despite having smaller hands than me, she was very successful and some pieces of mushed fruit flesh even ended up on the countertop backsplash. I could see a grin on her face “Well, maybe I should have used that on that pig manager who was pestering me in the restaurant.”

She surprised me with her question. “So what else did you learn?”

I was pleased by her interest so I found a nice plum twin from the bowl. “You see, an almost perfectly representative medical-grade testicle model.  Let's just add a scrotum.” I wrapped the twins in the kitchen cloth and fasted it on the door handle – the right height of an average man's groin.

Testicles, just as plums can be
easily crushed in no time
I started a detailed demonstration “You should know that your hand is not that large to contain both male organs, so you have to quickly separate them and isolate one gonad using your thumb and forefinger, put it in the tight lock so it cannot escape, squeeze it forcibly, then twist it all it takes like a rug, and finally jerk hard away from his body to mess with the delicate internal plumbing beyond repair. Alternatively, fix it in place with one hand and hit it with the knuckles of your other hand in a closed fist.  Imagine you want to pulp the ‘fruit’ completely. My following detailed demonstration was even more startling. The poor sadly hanging object became completely distorted and unrecognizable as a model ball sack and light pink juice was dripping from it, which required a quick wiping the floor beneath with a rug.

Brenda exclaimed in awe. “Wendy, you are such a badass! Did you learn this all in that course?”

“I told you it was useful, no bullshit,” I said proudly.

“May I also try?” Brenda asked impatiently.

“Sure, just let me find you a new pair … this one is good for you!” I picked another nice twin in the pile.  

“Exactly like my boyfriend's! Just less wrinkly!” she exclaimed and I could see in her eyes she became very excited to reveal her new superwoman power. With quite some ferociousness and focus, she performed the newly learned move and destroyed the two poor fruits like a pro. I felt pity this was not an official Olympic discipline 😊 at the same time lucky Katrin was not aware of the waste of her precious plums.

Just before I was about to show her how to employ other body parts: knees, heels, insteps, and teeth as deadly testicle destruction weapons I could hear the key turning in the lock and someone entering… Tom was back! Before we could clean the mess and hide our peculiar activity, he entered the kitchen.

“Hi Brenda, how are you, I haven’t seen you for a long time!  Yeah, great! This year’s plum delivery from Katrin and Albert, hope we are having some plum cake today?!” he asked.

 “Look at the little bummer, maybe you should help us first!” I expressed my anger with his audacity and laziness.

Ignoring my comment, he grabbed a plum for a snack and was about to leave us when he noticed the mess around the door handle. “Jeez, what were you two doing here?”

Tom was puzzled by the mess in the kitchen 

Luckily Brenda saved the day. “We were just using plums for testic… testing a new recipe for a purée, it requires pressing it through a cloth, it did not work out that well, though.”  We both giggled. Luckily he got fooled and did not investigate further. Nevertheless, his presence in the house stopped us from this inventive and engaging educational activity. At least, we did not waste any more precious plums and focused again on fruit preservation.

 After all that hard work and cleaning the traces of our testicle-crushing exercise, Brenda and I just dropped on the couch exhausted. We spent the rest of the time chilling and listening to some pop music. When the time came for her to leave for the bus, she took a plum from the nicely arranged bowl on the coffee table, split it with her fingers in half, and ate it with pleasure. “I think you convinced me, Wendy, I will take that course, it seems I will be having some fun…”

 

Saturday, 22 June 2024

To make egg sandwiches 🥪

Men spread their legs when sitting.
This puts them in a vulnerable position. 
 In one of the previous posts, I already talked about the phenomenon of how men tend to sit in a relaxed position with their legs spread at a wide angle. The reason for this is anatomical as well as sociological and psychological. Today I want to look at this issue from the important self defense perspective. As I mentioned several times, Linda went far in the idea that we learn to react effectively in all possible circumstances with all available tools. One such, often-neglected scenario is when the attacker is sitting or in a reclined position. This can for instance happen during a date rape attempt, office harassment, in the car when encountering the wrong guy during hitchhiking, or when enjoying the sun in the park on a bench and some pest starts bothering you. Luckily, Linda provided valuable tips and tricks for these situations and highlighted the most applicable techniques. Of course, our two darling attackers Bob and Peter did not dodge their duty and were heavily involved in the related educational and training process. We learned that it does not take much to turn the tables and to use male anatomy and macho behavior to our advantage, the lesson, our two guys learned is to never blatantly spread legs or… 😊

Linda explained to us: You probably noticed when a man rests on a seat, he often assumes a typical male pose, legs spread to give his testicles some ease and air to breathe but at the same time it puts him into a vulnerable position as it also creates a convenient opening for certain types of strikes. However, some staple techniques such as kicking and kneeing are not generally applicable, grabbing is, but getting a good lock on a partially seat-shielded scrotum can be tricky, as opposed to a freely hanging sack. Punching with the fist ultimately appears to be the best option but it must be done properly to get the best result. For instance, a hammer fist is not something I recommend, let me show you why. She took a small apple from her bag, possibly the latest harvest from her orchard, and put it on the wooden bench. Look, in a classical hammer fist strike, if I hit this apple like this, despite quite good momentum, my hand bounces up and the power dissipates because of the low hardiness of the striking surface, the bottom of the fist. It surely hurts…. but rather my hand. She demonstratively smashed the apple like a mallet with quite some force, yet causing only mild distortion of the fruit.

Forming the N sign with your fist
creates a deadly striking weapon.  
“Now to do significant damage, you should fold your hand like the letter N in sign language”,  of course, we stared at her confused so she immediately explained Like this, she swung her arm up for us to see. Put the thumb below the pointer and middle finger, which you bent so their knuckles protrude sharply outward in a V shape. See how the thumb firmly fixes the bent fingers. This is a great striking piece for any soft targets including testicles. She turned her deadly weapon towards us and tapped the sharp double bump with the other hand’s fingers to make the point. Then she swung her arm up and impacted the same apple from above, using those two knuckles as a spear. A horrible crushing sound followed, the apple got almost completely split and the pieces of apple splashed all around. Target destroyed! commented Linda her success with obvious satisfaction, as she wiped off the apple remnants from her fingers.  

The sandwich maker gave the name to a
brutal technique of female last resort self defense 
“When striking testicles, ideally each knuckle is intended for one of his testicles. In many cases, this is not possible, especially because of the shielding by the penis, but you can do a number just on one testicle as well, especially if you manage to follow the right angle. What helped me crush this apple was the hard bottom support of the wooden bench. When a man sits, consider the relaxed freely hanging testicles resting on the seat surface. In this case, the best if the strike comes from above or at least at a 45° angle to sandwich the organs between the seat and your fist. That’s why I call this method a sandwich maker because it reminds me of how I prepare my favorite sandwiches with poached eggs. It is like clapping the hot top metal plate of the appliance and sandwiching the delicate juicy eggs between the two toast bread slices. They stay compressed and sealed between the toasts …an excellent quick lunch, or when traveling… highly recommend…. yummy.  After this quick culinary tip, she went back to the main topic of the session. So visualize you are making a sandwich with his ‘not-so-hard eggs’ as a filling between your fist and the seat.  As always, as oddly as they sounded, these fruity and eggy approximations actually helped. At that quick instance, we all imagined making a ‘testicle sandwich’, and such weird surreal thinking drew grins on our faces.

Visualize preparing a sandwich from poached eggs.  
Linda continued This method works perfectly on low-hanging scrota, if he has already removed his pants and underwear, and you can visually locate the target. Even if not, you can perform the move anyway. In this case, however, the strike must come in a horizontal line, imagine your fist is like a piston and the arm is a drive rod, the hard backing is his pelvis bone.  She made us make a few rounds with our arms like an old-type locomotive. You often cannot see the target because you are positioned sideways or because of his clothing. It does not matter, you can effectively use the contour of his leg to guide your fist toward the opening between his penis and inner thigh, directly into the goolie, left or right, depending on your position. As the piston of an engine…hit continuously as many times as possible in quick succession. added our self defense guru.

Linda suddenly turned her head towards the opposite corner of the dojo, where our two darling attackers were innocently relaxing on a bench. In the beginning likely just checking the latest results of sports competitions or playing games on their smartphones but Linda’s loud apple-crushing routine grabbed their attention and now they both looked quite concerned. Linda turned back to us. You see, both are in their typical comfortable position with their legs open, excellent, it calls for some real demonstration!  We followed Linda and surrounded the guys in a semicircle, in anticipation of another interesting presentation.

The sandwich-making technique.
Compress the testicles between the knuckles of the pointer
and the middle finger and the hard backing of the seat. 
Linda sat next to Bob and gently put her hand on his shoulder. This was maybe to ease the anxiety, which was obviously not ungrounded.  She looked into his eyes. I must show the girls something and need you to ‘go like Adam’. Knowingly he couldn't get away from her demands he followed the code and shyly pulled his gym shorts and briefs down and sat again but this time he somewhat instinctively closed the gap between his legs and got into a more decent pose. To Linda’s dissatisfaction. Sit like before, she requested resolutely and once he, still a bit reluctantly did, she started the detailed explanation. Some of the girls came closer so they better see between his legs, they knew it was the place where the show takes place.

Ladies, look at his testicles resting on the seat surface protected by his flaccid penis laying on them.” She used her finger to point at the area of interest where the two hairy orbs met the wood of the bench. If my fist comes from above, I can easily forcefully compress them, and they have no room to escape. She formed an N sign fist, pushed the soft penis to the side, and gently pressed the full sack, each knuckle one testicle till they bulged under the pressure, like two balloons before bursting. Luckily she did the demonstrative move only for short and without passing the danger threshold, just for us to see the mechanism and the effect.  Still, we sighted it as it looked malicious and painful. The brave young man yelped loudly and was now breathing heavily. However, it was not the end.  Linda continued Now in a horizontal type of strike, I use his inner thigh surface as a guidance and his pelvic bone as the hard backing. Her arm shifted the angle and performed the sandwich-making technique in that direction. She did not need to push the penis aside, the convenient crevice was there, just his right testicle was unlucky this time. Once she released the push, I noticed the fear-shriveled scrotum turned a bit reddish as well as Bob’s face. In real life, use the greatest momentum of your arm to gain the full force and speed for explosive punching. Then a testicular rupture is ensured. She patted him on the head as a sign of appreciation for his help. The visible sign of relief on Bob’s face was telling.  He deserved a break so she turned to Peter waiting disquietly. Luckily for him, this time she did not ask for genital exposition, as she sought we see the action in such a situation.

Play along approach can be the best strategy
for executing the right techniques
including the sandwich maker.
Let's play out a common scenario. Peter is going to be a young over-amorous guy who sat next to me on a park bench and starts to misbehave, being rude and touching my boobs, without permission. He looked at Peter, which meant ‘Action!’ He very shyly wrapped his right arm around Linda’s back, so his hand reached Linda’s right boob. This would normally mean came his lucky day, but he knew, that luck wouldn't last long. For an overconfident horny attacker, his face looked too nervous. Linda shook her head What a shy bogus attacker, please give it more passion! Peter gathered all his courage and grabbed the big boob like a real man, even smirking a bit to display his gained confidence and bravery. Linda smiled back. That’s better!

Linda communicated her plan To get rid of him, I apply a play-along approach. I return his interest and use my hand to express a sign of sexual favor. She gently rubbed the young man’s muscular thigh, so passionately I could see his thin black hair stand up. The slight movement in his shorts indicated something else was moving up as well.  He cannot see or guess my intentions. When my hand is in the right position I use the moment of his excitement that it goes his way, I quickly rotate and arch my arm, make an N sign fist, accelerate it along the thigh… and bang! and bang! again! She did that and immediately commented on the expected outcomes. The sharp blows stunt him, he crosses his legs to protect his testicles against further blows and puts his hands over his crotch. However,  this exposes his upper body.  I use my other hand to grab his hair and jerk his head sharply backward. Gosh, she was rough, poor boy might lost a few hairs. She continued  I just keep my right fist in the N sign, go up with my arm, and smash his exposed Adam's apple… and another one just for good measure,  and finally I finish with a sharp strike to his temple before I safely leave the wrecked thug and the scene.

The whole sequence was quick, and although she softened the strikes, barely touching the male sensitive spots, poor Peter experienced quite some discomfort, his muscular body stayed folded, legs crossed, weakly whining. Well, as one could expect, grabbing Linda’s boob won't be without consequences 😉.  She ruffled his pulled aching hair and whispered in his ear Thanks for the assistance.” The whole thing looked so wild, dangerous, and brutal, that we again sighted in awe.  After a quick moment of silence Laura excitedly asked “May we also try?” Susanne stepped in “But not before we check if they both are OK”.  “And after we eat the juicy testicle sandwiches!” added humorously Ana.  We all burst into laughter…

Sunday, 12 May 2024

The Legacy of Shirley Temple - inspirational story #7

We all must learn from the lessons of the past. Unfortunately, some important stories we could learn from are not told loud enough or even at all. With this post, I continue the popular series of inspirational stories to educate and empower.

Shirley Temple in 1941
Despite not considering myself a crazy movie fan, I have always been intrigued by the Hollywood golden era of cinema. In my mind, it was a unique time of excitement, glamour, and cultural boom. I recently read a very interesting biographical article about one of the female movie stars from that era, Shirley Temple. She started acting at a very early age and gained incredible fame. Despite having great success in the movie industry and even in diplomacy, she went through many difficulties in her life. One of the deeply troubling issues in her acting career, she recalled in her memoirs. Being an attractive young actress, she was constantly sexually attacked by powerful executives, producers, and co-workers. It seems the way how it works in the entertainment business: I get sex and you get the job, is apparently a pattern over a century-long and was fully exposed just recently by the MeToo movement. The paradox is, in comparison to the actresses from the modern era, she handled some uncomfortable situations extremely well. I want to share with you an account I took from a media network Ranker.com:

For the entirety of her brief film career, Temple was forced to fight off sexual predators, as she was regularly groped, threatened, and terrorized by men.

After she rebuked one Hollywood producer for his advances, he responded, “Look, I’m going to be a big executive. We’re going to have to get along... What I had in mind was just a workplace formality.”

“It may be in your contract, but not mine,” she replied.

“Sex is like a glass of water,” the man she simply refers to as “Wizard” continued. “You get thirsty, you drink. You want sex, you have it.”

Then there was the beloved comedian George Jessel, who once invited her to his office to “discuss a key role” in his upcoming film:

Lift my skirt without permission, get a knee,
that's how it worked in the golden era of Hollywood. 
We were standing a pace apart, eyeball to eyeball. In one swift movement he opened his trousers and, with a sudden reach, encircled me with one arm… I could feel his other hand groping to lift my shirt. Hard on the heels of the Wizard, this new assault seemed unreal, but little could I do but thrust my right knee upward into his groin... Pain, disgust, and hate flickered across his face, but I felt no mercy. More and more the adult movie business seemed populated with a bunch of copulating tomcats.

Shirley reacted swiftly, responsibly, and resolutely. I assume she had not attended any fancy self defense course and despite that, she was able to handle the situation extremely well. It reminded me of another inspirational story from an actress, I already published some years ago. 

As Shirley said, the asshole deserved no sympathy. Hopefully, he learned his lesson; he could feel lucky she did not use any other more brutal self defense techniques, given his genitals were exposed and in the end did not lose any of his two precious organs. Maybe I would go far with this comment, but I truly think if all young actresses were told how to handle pushy horny men, we could have avoided all those tiring Hollywood sex attack scandals and allegations. What an inspiring story from such a wonderful woman….

P.S.

Some of you wrote me very interesting stories via email and I want to publish them all in this renewed series, just that I must find time to provide the necessary commentary. I ask you for patience.

Sunday, 24 March 2024

Interview with Tina

Tina is a busy young female academic doing
controversial but important research. 
In some of my previous posts, I mentioned that Linda is not just a female self-defense trainer, she has a faculty position at the Faculty of Physical Education and besides teaching several courses, and coaching a women’s football team, she also does cutting-edge research in the relatively new but also controversial field of experimental female self-defense. I have been always intrigued and wanted to learn more and make a blog post about it. When I contacted her recently, Linda told me that unfortunately she is going through some medical treatment soon, and the best would be to interview Tina, a recently graduated Ph.D. student in her group, whom I already briefly met once when I was interviewing Linda. I thought it was an excellent idea, so I immediately wrote her an email and arranged a meeting. I was very excited when I met her in her office at the university. She offered me a cup of coffee, I made myself comfortable in an armchair and looked around. Her office looked like a typical working place of a busy young academic; shelves were filled with various books, and on the walls were hanging pictures from meetings and conferences as well as snapshots of training sessions and successful experiments and some medical posters and art. On her desk, she had the most special piece, a detailed plastic anatomy model of male genitals in real size.

One of Tina's office wall decorations.
This art signifies she has to deal with different
penis and testicle types.
It was very enjoyable to meet such an ambitious and knowledgeable young female scientist. Tina is very passionate about her work, and I especially appreciate her openness and transparency about some sensitive topics. The interview with her was an eye-opening experience, and I am sure you will enjoy it as well.

Thank you very much Tina for agreeing to this interview, I think what you and Linda do is quite fascinating but a bit shrouded in mystery. Can you tell us a bit about your research field?

The field I and Linda work in is now called experimental gyneaftoamynology from the Greek words gynaíka - female and aftoámyna - self-defense as a newly established branch of physical education. Its primary aim is to make female self-defense systems most effective through empirical investigations. It means that instead of relying on some anecdotal evidence or unproven theories and assumptions, we put the theories to the test. It is a multidisciplinary discipline, and it combines different aspects from human anatomy and physiology, to psychology, and physical education.

Interesting, so what does your workday look like?

Like all scientists, I am busy from early morning to late afternoon. Basically, I run on coffee… there is always a lot of new literature to read, then I am often occupied with writing manuscripts and reports, filing, and submitting applications for grants and ethics commission approvals, recruiting test subjects, planning, and then, of course doing the experiments…this is what I and Linda like the most. But nothing is easy, and it requires a great amount of commitment and hard work. In the end, it is always so rewarding to get the hard-earned results. Sometimes we must go down the rabbit hole with unexpected outcomes popping up…can be quite thrilling.

What attracted you to this research field and how you made up your decision to do a PhD?

Initially, I wanted to become a high school physical education teacher. In the second year of my study, I was so amazed by Linda’s lectures. She was talking about things I had never heard before, I realized that this is the research that saves lives but hardly makes headlines. As an undergraduate student, I learned about two cases of a sex attack on campus. One sadly ended in rape, and the other one failed as the girl, trained in Karate successfully defended herself.  The ‘poor’ attacker was left with multiple serious injuries including a ruptured testicle after a well-executed Kin Geri. I too was harassed during my first year by a guy and did not know how to properly react. I realized the outcome of a sex attack does not need to be predetermined; a girl can win if she is provided with the right knowledge and skills. To help to drive a paradigm shift in society I embarked on a mission to help Linda use science to equip women with the best knowledge and tools to accomplish their safety in this dangerous world.

What do you think about Linda? How is it to work with her?

I admire her a lot, she is an outstanding scholar, a great supervisor, and a role model for the generation of young female scientists like me. She is a fountain of unconventional ideas. You probably know her, a little bit special personality from the course, she is strict and very demanding but also focused and goal-oriented. One might argue that she occasionally crosses the line or maybe she is too uncompromised when it comes to male test subjects, but it is necessary to reach the desired goal. Not only is the research topic difficult, but she also must cope with many criticisms and obstacles. It is commendable how she can materialize her real-life experience including the time she worked for the SIREN program and that she is not afraid of directly, without any euphemisms to address any awkward topics. She can talk nonchalantly about the details of testicular injuries and eye gouging the same way as about gardening and cake cooking…squeamishness is definitely not in her dictionary. But I guess you know that from the course (Tina was smiling).

You recently defended your doctoral thesis. What is the title and topic?

My thesis has the title Evaluating physical last resort strategies to prevent rape. It covers a thorough investigation and evaluation of the techniques and finding the best strategies for incapacitation the attacker and enabling the victim to flee. We evaluated the effectiveness in targeting all vulnerable points on the male body: eyes, Adam's apple, penis, and testicles. To some extent, I investigated almost all of them, but I mainly focused on my and Linda’s favorite, testicles. As you know there has always been a lot of controversy surrounding these sensitive male organs. You can hear so many conflicting arguments and different pieces of advice, so we wanted to settle this debate once and for all. We wanted to address issues such as: How incapacitating it is, which techniques should be used to a level a woman can cause an injury, and even what is the best method to apply the most secure grasp even when the man has pants on. Now, we can confidently claim, that the success of targeting testicles is much higher than previously admitted, we have solid proof and evidence it simply works in many different situations and is highly incapacitating. I hope with our outcomes we put the long-standing debate to an end. However, we found out that, to achieve success, women must be taught these things properly without any reservation, and they must practice regularly as the automatic, correct, and right-moment execution of the techniques is crucial.

How did you find out? Can you tell us about your experiments?

Well, there were many, but I can tell you about one very interesting experiment in which we had two groups of female students. The control group was not taught any physical techniques, and the other test group was provided with detailed comprehensive information on the male anatomy and the vulnerable points of the male body, and how to injure those. Pretty much they were taught the same things as you were in the course. They could even practice some techniques on silicone testicles (We will talk about it later).

Many female participants report an empowering experience that they
share with their peers and express willingness to come back
We arranged a simulated scenario when they had to subdue a man attacking her. The first group's success rate was app. 20%, quite low in comparison to the second group for which the success rate went through the roof, reaching 70%. It was hilarious to see all those young guys on the floor clutching their anguished groins. We even had some medical emergencies, but luckily no permanent injuries, just some bruising and swelling of the scrotums. Sometimes we even had to step in to stop overenthusiastic women in their rage to prevent harm to male subjects. We calculated we could reduce the incidence the rape by at least half if we properly teach young women these techniques. This shows the barriers are not that difficult to break, we just need to find a better way how to empower women instead of saying: You are weak sex, live with it…and all that bullshit…excuse my language. It was amazing to see the ladies leaving the room with great confidence, evidently empowered, bragging about their new skills and ‘injuries’ they were able to cause on male organs when chatting with the other group…and the knowledge of newly gained power was transferred.

That’s quite fascinating. Any other experiment?

Part of my thesis was to find the best way to attack testicles with a hand in different situations on clothed or naked attackers. A serious issue, but I cannot recall having other times such great fun. We had two guys, with distinct types of scrotum: tight and loose. They exchanged different underwear and pants and of course, at some point, they had to undress completely. We had to cope with frequent unwanted erections, faints, intermittent screams, importantly also ‘Eureka’ moments. One female participant satisfied she finally managed to apply a secured lock on a tight scrotum, exclaimed: ‘Now is the time to test the best method for testicular rupture!’ The other girls around laughed, and the poor boys cringed. Well, it could be an interesting activity, but we cannot afford to put their delicate reproductive organs at such risk. Sometimes, the screams combined with loud laughter from our lab can be heard in the hallways, and we have people knocking on the door, being horrified, and asking what’s going on…Well, that’s the price of doing such innovative research. Now Linda can go to the course and teach you confidently what should you do when a filthy scrotum appears close to your hand.  

I would expect it to be difficult to get volunteers for your experiments, isn’t it? How do you attract them?

We recruit both female and male test subjects among faculty students; male subjects are usually semi-professional athletes. We prefer young fit men, with a good physique. It is telling to see their strength is in vain when applying the right techniques to the core of their masculinity. Before admission, they have to go through a rigorous selection process and we do not accept everybody. We look at the size and type of their pressure points including their genitals to account for as many variables as possible.

Male participants are selected from faculty students
based on different parameters. Muscular physique and
types of their genitals are some of them. 
And what does attract them? Surprisingly, there is no shortage of volunteers. Linda made several funny recruitment ads (Tina pointed at the posters on the wall with interesting graphics and text ‘We need your balls’), but I don’t think this is the reason. The motivations of the participants are diverse and differ between males and females. They usually get some ECTS points for volunteering and some small monetary compensation. I think many of them come out of curiosity and sometimes guys make a bet with their pals, or they are convinced it is just a prank and at the end, they are often unpleasantly surprised. The shock often comes the moment we ask them to expose themselves for genital evaluation. But that’s the game we play. They must sign a waiver and we brief them about what kind of participation we expect. Surprisingly many come back and want to participate again, even without any reward. Female participants often in the final questionnaire account for how empowering experience it was to participate in the project, and whether there is an opportunity to help more. Interestingly, since we started our research, we noticed fewer rape attempts reported here than other faculties. 

What is the most difficult part of doing the experiments?

Sometimes the experimental part is very demanding and not a piece of cake for the experimenter as well as a female, or male participant. First, we must break common barriers such as squeamishness, prudence, and shyness but we also must consider safety. The experimental setup inevitably involves handling bare genitals and causing pain, which can't be avoided. We often must repeat an experiment several times, even if we see the male subject cannot take it anymore. Simply we need enough repetitions to make a solid statistical conclusion. But how else would you answer the question of whether a particular technique is effective or not, without actually performing it in real? Some interesting questions were posted by your blog readers, regarding for instance the type of testicles and different situations that need to be investigated. But we always weigh the benefits and possible risks. Nevertheless, I admit some experiments can be fun and bring a lot of satisfaction in case of positive outcomes.

I heard from Linda about one unfortunate experiment when a volunteer ended up in the hospital can you tell us more about it?

So-called freezing is often considered a common problem in female self-defense. We wanted to investigate this phenomenon closely, so we simulated an unexpected hyperrealistic attack on me. I did not know when and where it was going to happen. One of our volunteers Mike, played out an attacker in the dark parking lot when I was leaving the campus. Maybe because I undertook training I did not freeze and reacted the best I could. A sharp elbow rear jab and a swift back kick with my heel did the ‘intended job’. The ‘attacker’ unfortunately…well if in real life fortunately…ended up in hospital with a broken rib and contusion in his left testicle. He recovered through but did not want to participate in our research anymore, which was a pity. I liked Mike a lot, he was a very useful male test subject.

I admit it was enjoyable when we trained with Bob and Peter. However, many women cannot train male partners. What is for example the best simulant of testicles or eyes? You already mentioned the silicone model...

Training self-defense and proper targeting of vulnerable points such as testicles or eyes is undoubtedly difficult. Of course, a real set of testicles is the best, but not always available so some realistic models help. In a small project, we tested different everyday objects and compared them to testicles, on all parameters including the texture and pressure necessary to cause rupture. We can recommend lemons and limes. These fruits are readily available in all grocery stores and when squeezing all the juice out, is a good exercise for gaining finger strength… of course, they are also a great source of vitamins as well. Plums and small apricots are also suitable analogs because of their right texture, shape, and size. As for the eyes, the gooseberries are excellent but sometimes hard to get. We sought to develop something more durable and nondisposable so we recently collaborated with a urologist from a nearby clinic Dr. Lane, and developed a prototype of a very true-to-life durable simulant of male genitals for some hardcore training. She provided us with critical parameters and valuable advice on anatomy and variables. No one knows better male genitals than someone handling them every day (Tina reached for the peculiar object and handed it to me for inspection. It was indeed almost like the real piece).

Realistic silicone models are being developed
for female self-defense training.
This thing is made from high-quality durable silicone and contains hard rubber testes with the same resistance as real glands with detailed plumbing attached including epididymis and spermatic cord. No death pinch will ever fail! With this strap, it can be easily fastened to common leather-kicking dummies and is perfectly sanitizable so can be used for training biting techniques as well. Linda has a pair of these and is going to use them in her course. We contacted some silicone molding companies for mass production, but all showed no interest, luckily, we found one with a female CEO who was very enthusiastic and wanted to help even without any financial profit, so I hope we can get it on the market soon.

I guess you need some ethics approval and what about funding such research?

That’s right, we have to apply for the ethics commission approvals, and it is always a pain in the ass. In the last couple of years, we have been lucky because of our female dean, who has been very supportive of our cause and not afraid to accommodate controversial research topics and ideas at the faculty. She clearly understands the significance and impact of the field and that the path to the results is challenging and not well-trodden. Without her, I have a doubt we could continue our work.

Not only ethics approvals, but it is also extremely difficult to get sufficient funding because of the contentious and neglected topic. We regularly receive a lot of harsh criticism, mainly from male management and application reviewers. We even get a type of response: Why does she need funding, all she does is squeeze testicles all day long, what kind of research is that? Damn, how ignorant! (Tina was visibly upset)

I heard you also gather and evaluate the data from real-life situations...

Testicles can swell to the size of oranges
after some proper 'treatment'.

Indeed, experiments are just part of our activities and medical and police reports are a very valuable source of data. We gather and review those and critically evaluate and statistically process all cases, both successful and unsuccessful. We also perform interviews with women with experience in such situations. It is interesting how many success cases go unnoticed by the press and media, which is a pity. Dr. Lane provided us with some valuable data from the emergency cases she encountered while working at the urology ER. I have seen pictures of attackers' genitals significantly ‘modified’ as a result of a successful counterattack. Not for the fainthearted, but quite telling. I did not know a scrotum could swell to the size of an orange. Dr. Lane said the best rapist deterrent would be to post them everywhere.

What are you working on right now and what are your plans for the future?

At the moment, I am writing a paper with a tentative title Glands and Glans - from neglect to focus.  It will be a more sociological/historical study of how perceptions of male genitals in the context of female self-defense have changed throughout history and what were the implications for the era. I would like to stay in academia and continue researching some novel innovative techniques Linda proposed; they all sound brutal and effective but at the same time very exciting to explore. I also have ideas about some unconventional methods for distraction and deception, which we can develop and evaluate on volunteers. But it all depends on the funding and whether we continue to receive positive support from our dean.

Thank you, Tina, for this interesting interview, I wish you a lot of success in your scientific endeavors!