Interview with Linda (part 3)

For the last couple of days, I have been working on the translation of Linda’s interview. In this part, we will learn more about Linda’s principles and philosophy in teaching self defense to young women. It is a very enlightening reading. 

Linda, what do you think makes your course different than the others?

I think you are going to be surprised by the answer. My course is free of charge and is led by a woman, and this makes a whole lot of difference. There are many different courses out there, the dojo owners all brag about how great a job they do, they do not teach any bullshit like the others, they are realistic, simple, etc. However, keep in mind that these are commercial projects with money-making as their prime focus. Women’s actual needs are not on the top of the list of priorities. How a course can be called ‘reality based’ if you use a heavily padded model attacker with restricted movement hardly reacting to any hits.

Karate is a nice martial art but impractical
for female self defense 

The course responsible are often practitioners of martial arts, they always think that just adapting the martial art they are familiar with is enough and can be taught to women.  Although few ‘experts’ would still argue that learning Judo or Karate is sufficient self defense training, this type of thinking unfortunately remains. My system is not based on any martial art, just the research I and my peers have done with a strong focus on simplicity and effectiveness.

In other systems, there is also too much emphasis on basic or first response techniques and very little, if anything, on last resort self defense. This is maybe appropriate when teaching men but is poor when teaching tactical strategies to young women. Female self defense is not a contest but rather a fight for survival in which one of the opponents is limited by a smaller size and weaker strength and this must be taken into account and balanced out. In my opinion, many courses provide just a false sense of security rather than true empowerment which is absolutely needed.

Can you tell us more about why teaching last resort self defense is important?

There is this flawed idea that the scope of a self defense course should not go beyond wrist lock releases, punches to the nose, or elbow to the stomach. It somehow implies telling: “So, the wrist lock release did not work, now expect to be raped, we did not teach you what to do next.” An attacker with his pants down and his genitals exposed is much more vulnerable and defeatable than the moment he just jumped out of bushes doped with adrenaline. A state-of-the-art course should cover all the situations and stages of a sex attack and should focus on techniques and strategies, even a petite girl can do before the worst happens.

Many trainers feel uncomfortable going into more sensitive and touchy subjects. For a male teacher, it might be awkward to talk about his own male parts and how vulnerable they are. For this reason, the best is when a female teaches other females, this way one can also avoid any unwanted sexual backdrops.

Lastly, I often read a very stupid argument that learning self defense is worthless because women are in majority attacked by someone they know. The self defense techniques I teach can be used in different situations and against anybody, including an abusive husband or boyfriend. All men have Adam’s apple and testicles.

Can you explain to the readers what are the main principles of your system?

Deception is an important element 
of last resort self defense

My system is based on simple principles in both learning and execution. If in a sticky situation a woman should follow the ‘4D’ principle which comes in sequence: decision, deterrence, deception, and determination.  The ‘decision’ means to learn to make the right decision at a given moment. For instance, running away can be the best option in some instances. Freezing can be a problem, but I also teach how to overcome this through some mental training.

If immediate escape or alerting the crowd is not possible a woman might decide on deterrence at different levels. Depending on the seriousness of the situation she can use some psychological tools or less serious techniques such as ‘fire quenchers’. A deception should follow if everything failed so far, the aim is to make the attacker off guard and his targets exposed. Using trickery is key in manipulating the attacker to a position he becomes vulnerable and creating a window of opportunity for the execution of a debilitating counterstrike. Momentary cooperating, making him remove his pants, and gently touching his genitals can be a prelude to the most serious no-fail techniques. This should be done with a determination which is an important component when resorting to physical resistance; it has to be done with full force, violently, and without hesitation. 

The aim is to subdue the attacker till he is no threat to you. The attack should be targeted at the three most sensitive targets: his eyes, Adam’s apple, and testicles, the best in a sequence BCD: ‘Blind him, choke him, desex him!’ Sometimes it is necessary to make him pass out. This can be done for instance by stomping sharply between the attacker’s splayed legs so there is no doubt he will stay down, and you can make your way out to safety. This is rarely taught in any other courses.

However, there has been a controversy about how you teach these techniques…

How would one expect women to learn something when they cannot try it out during training? Nobody ever learned a new language just by listening.  So why should we, for instance, teach a lifesaving technique such as GTP just by saying You know, BTW you can also grab his groin? And the only time a would-be victim would execute or at least try it is in the most stressful life-threatening situation. It is then too late to figure out how it is actually done properly. I understand that the readers have some concerns about our male assistants. Pain and occasional embarrassment are a small price they have to pay. There are higher stakes than that for women not provided with the ability to defend themselves.

Once you told us that the female self defense training should involve both psychological and physical aspects. What are the psychological aspects?

The road to mastering the art of self defense starts in the head. Women are naturally non-violent lenient creatures; they do not want to hurt anybody. The psychological component of my training is to change their mindset to find inner aggression and unleash it when needed. I aim to accomplish true female empowerment and to build self-confidence. That’s why I insist any woman should try out the techniques as close to reality as possible, including those that are normally taught just orally such as attacks on testicles. Not only does a woman memorize it well, but she can more easily repeat it when really needed. It leaves a deep imprint in her mind: “I managed to take down a training assistant, I can do it again in real life and it works.” 

But still, I often have difficulties convincing some girls to go full force. I often hear “Linda, but this might permanently maim the attacker! I don’t want to castrate him!” I explain to them, that in this horrible situation they should not worry if they injure him, even if they castrate him. Their goal is to get away from the situation using whatever it takes, even if it means castration.  I tell them “Think for a moment, you are not only saving yourself but potentially any other girl in the future.” I wish the girls leave my course not just as course graduates but as true female warriors.

And what about the physical aspect of self defense?

Some exercises can be done
during other daily activities 

The self defense training is not only about mastering the techniques and getting the appropriate knowledge and skills. It should not end after a lesson or after a course. I always tell my students that staying fit and physically active is not only healthy and for good looks but increases your chances of a successful encounter with a violent dangerous man. I suggest building a dummy out of pillows with attached testicles made from a sock with rubber balls and keep practicing daily at home things that you have learned in the course. 

Doing punches, kicks, knees, gouging eyes, and grabbing testicles regularly increase movement memory and are a good workout improving physical capabilities. Too lazy or tired for a day? Use the time to keep your grip strong by squeezing stress balls or fake testicles while watching Netflix or reading the news. You can also involve your partner in these activities. But be careful with his eyes and testicles, thou.  

I really liked the lectures and theory classes, how important are these?

We had a lot of fun during the classes

I am glad you liked it. Success stories, examples, and videos are another important part of my training; it makes self defense training less abstract and more relatable. Although I aim to rather keep a serious tone, it makes a lot of fun, girls love it. It is not uncommon that girls starting applauding when I read a story from a newspaper about a young girl who sent her attacker to a hospital with a ruptured testicle. A home video or an MMA match of some accidents involving men’s most sensitive parts is sometimes more convincing than 1000 words and helps with overcoming the psychological barriers I talked about before.

I have to say I learned a lot about male anatomy in the course. Can you explain why is it important?

Knowledge of the male anatomy is
 another important element of learning 
self defense

Yes, girls are really surprised by how much emphasis I put on the knowledge of the anatomy of the male body and particularly its most vulnerable spots. “Know your enemy from head to toe!” is another essential principle of my system. Physically but also psychologically. It means not only weak points on his body but also in his mind!  Girls say they learned more on this topic than in their sex-ed and biology classes. They are university freshwomen, not that sexually experienced yet, so it really counts. Most are amazed at how fragile and also variable male genitals are, and they learn what is the significance for self defense. Again, this topic should not be taught only theoretically but practically as well. That is why Bob and Peter and other male assistants come in so handy…

 to be continued….

Busting the ball myths (part one) - a bag of pain

I have been quite busy lately and had no time to write new posts. However, I found some time this week and today I continue with a series of posts in which I would like to look more closely at some of the myths and misconceptions often perpetrated in the self defense and martial arts community, and particularly those related to the testicles as a target. In one of my earlier entries, I already touched upon some of those controversial issues, but recently I realized some topics require more attention and a deeper discussion.

First, I would like to note that this ‘debunking’ will be backed by some extensive and thorough research in this area done by Linda and partially also by me. So, most of the information I will present in these posts is well supported by scientific data, not just anecdotal evidence, or someone’s opinion.

The first myth I would like to discuss in this series is that any hits to the testicles are not that painful, the effect is always exaggerated in the movies, it can be shrugged off easily and, in the end, it will just make him angry, and therefore is better to aim for…

The roots of these claims are often deeply embedded in denialism of the existence of any male weak spot stemming from the male gender self-indulged assertion of dominance and physical superiority. When I became more interested in female self defense I soon realized men are much more comfortable in exposing and presenting pressure points shared between female and male bodies (e.g. eyes, knees) but subconsciously avoid highlighting any male-specific target area. This could be because of their qualms to expose their own vulnerability or simply this topic, in general, creates some kind of natural embarrassment or awkwardness for a man. For this reason, it is always better to have a lead female self-defense instructor and male assistants as model attackers. Although extremely interesting, I don’t want to discuss the roots of this myth in this post further and leave it for later, so back to the main point of this post.

Many of you would maybe ask why this topic is so important. Well, the purpose of physical self-defense is to eliminate the ability of an attacker to continue his attack either by causing him intensive pain and/or shutting down his vital functions (breathing, seeing) and/or his ability to move (e.g. by breaking his knee) or via a psychological effect resulting in defusing the escalated situation or preventing further aggression. Well executed attacks on testicles generate not only sharp pain and physical ‘shut down’ but also affect the mental state of an attacker. So any defensive technique that with a little effort, skills or strength would result in these effects is a preferred defense maneuver of any woman, regardless of her physical capabilities. So are testicles indeed so sensitive, do they hurt so much if hit or is it just an exaggeration of the moviemakers or wishful thinking of female self defense instructors?

To understand the best would be to start with the anatomy and physiology of the testicles. Testes are glands of inner secretion that during the human evolution appeared outside the male body pouched in the scrotum (not all males in the animal kingdom have testicles in the same awkward position). So if for instance ovaries were positioned in some funny floppy skin sacks on the body, one can be pretty sure they would be a super-sensitive target as well, but luckily for us women it did not happen😊. 

Testes are covered by thousands of pain receptors and nerve endings. Their purpose is to signal the owner the danger of damage to these two vital organs. And they can be damaged easily because they hang outside and are not covered by any bones or a strong layer of muscles. Men often report so-called referred pain, especially in the stomach area. This is because during development testicles descend from the abdominal cavity to the scrotum but remain connected via the spermatic plexus with the whole sympathetic nervous system. I am a woman so I cannot describe the testicular pain. Some compare the intensity to childbirth, but I have not delivered a baby yet so again I cannot tell. The best is to listen/read about it from guys themselves.

This website collected accounts of 15 young men who describe what they feel when being hit in the testicles. Some descriptions are quite metaphoric but quite telling 😊 they all report gut-wrenching pain they do not want to experience again.

This excellent blog from Allison Gibbons and this educational video from a urologist Dr. Rena Malik describes in detail the medical details of the testicular pain response, and why there is such a plethora of physiological effects and trauma on the male.

Even the toughest MMA fighters are not 

immune to the testicular pain 

However, the best evidence is to see the man’s reaction for real, and such a unique opportunity is provided by MMA matches. Neither I nor Tom is a big fan of this type of entertainment but researching groin shots always refer you to numerous videos of mishaps in MMA fights. Linda also recommended watching these videos to get an idea. I guess the very wild nature of the fighting style inevitably results in occasional accidental (or nonaccidental?) hits to the testicles usually by a foot or knee. Here is one of the compilations on Youtube. Many of those strikes do not even seem to be that powerful, yet they act as an instant fight stopper, and I guess those fighters are tough men, high on adrenaline and used to pain. Sometimes it seems a good kick or knee to the testicles just accelerates the gravitational force around the man and he drops down immediately like a sack of potatoes.

From these examples, one can see that the immediate reaction of a man is to bend over, fall on the floor, and assign a fetal position. Medical records report systemic effects on the body such as all-consuming pain in different body parts, nausea, convulsing, drowsiness, sweating, and increased heart rate. Vomiting and passing out is not uncommon after more serious impacts or techniques. In some cases, the attack on testicles can trigger a neurogenic shock and even death. But this rather happens in men with serious heart issues. Notably, men with hurt testicles are usually unable to continue with any sexual activities which is a side effect especially important during a rape attempt.  

Try an experiment with flicking a ball.

Logically pain intensity correlates with the intensity of the technique used. I already mentioned fire quenchers such as groin slap, which serve as a milder reminder of his wrongdoing till determined counterattacks during rape/murder attempts such as GTP which can lead to serious permanent damage - testicular rupture or torsion.

I know that many of the male readers will be upset, but if you still have doubts try an experiment for yourself.  If you have a boyfriend or husband and you are dealing with his naked lovemaking tools (e.g. during oral sex) try to flick his testicles very gently with your fingers (note I say gently!) and watch his reaction. I guarantee he will feel it and react to it. But don’t worry, the pain should dissipate completely in a couple of minutes and you can continue with lovemaking. I know what I am talking about as I tried that on Tom. He still thinks it was an accident though😊. Now imagine what a serious defensive technique would do to a man.

Admittedly, some men are naturally less prone to these effects, and it is possible that some of such instances might actually add to the myth, but this is a minority. Interestingly, Shaolin monks often condition themselves and ‘harden’ their testicles. Think, they would not do it if testicles were not their vulnerable spot! But it is highly unlikely you are going to encounter a Shaolin monk outside Asia 😊.  

As with other techniques, nothing is bulletproof, and as I said numerous times the techniques have to be taught properly and executed properly, without hesitation and telegraphing. However, it is extremely empowering and revealing to get knowledge about the sensitivity of testicles and the option we have when defending ourselves. It constitutes one of the pillars of effective female self defense training, but unfortunately, it is still often ignored or shrouded in myths. I am glad it was not the case having Linda as our self defense guru.

To quench a fire🧯: groin slap

Groin slap effectively 'quench the fire' in
case of unwanted sexual advances 

Since I started this blog, some of you might have got the impression I only advocate for the most brutal response to any type of attack. However, Linda’s course was not only about last resort self defense. She did teach us awareness and avoidance, as well as less violent methods of deterrence. These can be used in not overly dangerous or life-threatening situations for instance if your new date is too overzealous and pushes you to something you do not want, or your horny colleague is making unwanted sexual advances. Unlike for instance kneeing the testicles, there is little risk of a serious injury. Linda called these techniques ‘fire-quenchers’. Al Marrewa in his self defense book ‘The feminine warrior’ refers to them as ‘attention-getters’. 

He tells a very interesting story demonstrating their applicability in real-life scenarios:

Elizabeth was in a crowded elevator when a man standing behind groped her between the legs. She could have responded with verbal self defense but decided to use an attention-getter instead. With his body pressed against her, she knew exactly where he was. So without turning to look at him, Elizabeth reached behind her and slapped the man’s groin. He grabbed his crotch and actually fell to his knees (he was also humiliated in front of others). The doors opened moments later, and Elizabeth calmly left the elevator. Her aggressor was still on his knees, moaning in pain. 

Al Marrewa,  The feminine warrior: a woman’s guide to verbal, psychological, and physical empowerment. (1998) page 119-120

Common reaction to a groin slap

In this case, Elizabeth used one of the simplest yet very effective attention-getters—the groin slap. It was not missing in Linda’s portfolio of techniques either. She told us why it is so useful and should be in every girl’s arsenal. The woman’s hand is always in the same level and the proximity of the groin of an approached attacker. It can be used, as Elizabeth did when he is standing behind you as well. The groin slap should be done as a non-telegraphed, surprise attack, it is then very difficult to block or evade it. Once the attacker buckles reflexly, you can follow by striking him on his neck with your elbow and pushing him forward ideally to make him slump on the floor or into the wall. 

Slapping testicles is similar to scooping water 

Linda sought to explain the principle of the defensive moves by relating them to the things and activities we were already familiar with. In this case, she said: “Do you remember when during summer you jumped into a lake or sea, and you got into a fight with someone by splashing water at each other? You firmly pressed the fingers together, so your hand formed a cup which you used in sharp and quick swinging motions to scoop as much water as possible towards your opponent? The groin slap is based on similar mechanics, but instead of water, you are scooping up the attacker’s testicles.”

For a perfect execution, it is important to remember these points: The striking area is your fingers. The palm of your hand or the heel of your hand should not be preferred for this as the whole hand cannot penetrate easily between the thighs. A larger area also dissipates the force upon the impact. On the other hand, fingers pressed together form a sturdy spear-like structure. Sudden sharp contact with a pointy striking area makes it count. It is important to note that, unlike when kicking or kneeing which rely on an upward movement, the penis does provide relatively good protection against slapping. So you should avoid striking just the front of his groin or in a downward direction. The movement of your arm should be a fast pendulum-like motion with good swift momentum, so your fingers flick sharply to the bottom of the scrotum.

Linda demonstrated the proper execution of the groin slap on our kicking dummy with fastened silicone testicles. I remember how each slap produced a thud sound and the silicone testicles bounced erratically evidencing a spot-on hit. Linda then let us practice on the kicking dummy, and once she saw we got it right we step into training in pairs with Bob and Peter. We made two girls only and two mixed pairs, but we were supposed to rotate to give every girl a chance to practice with a boy. Linda told the girl ‘attackers’ to put two balls of crumpled paper in their gym shorts to simulate the testicles. We trained the groin slap alone first and then the whole sequence ‘slap-hit with the elbow-push forward’.

Because of the relative mildness of this move, it was actually the first time we could try out a technique on our darling attackers without them wearing any protection. However, we were supposed to 'deaccelerate' our hand right before hitting the target, which is of course not fully possible due to the gained momentum of our hand.

So the poor boys were occasionally hopping in pain, groaning and clutching their manhood, while the girls with paper balls were just giggling as it rather tickled their girly parts and felt a bit weird. Sometimes the surrealism of Linda’s course was indisputable...

I again allowed anonymous comments. I am happy to discuss anything and I accept constructive criticism, but please behave.

The Nutcracker – the beauty and pain of ballet 🩰

When discussing the alarming negligence in wearing protection in many men’s sports, one commenter made a very harsh comment I should not stick my nose in men’s business but rather do something more feminine, for instance ballet. This comment just got me. Actually, I did take ballet classes when I was a teenager. Well not for long, I soon realized that neither do I possess enough talent nor the necessary endurance to continue.

Ballet means both beauty and pain

Ballet is not for weaklings. Any aspiring ballerina or danseur learns from the beginning one of the basic rules of ballet—pain means gain. Forgoing bodily comfort and embracing pain as a part of the training is essential to achieve the desired goal, in this case a flawless performance. In the comments we already touched upon the so-called ‘sympathy pain’ men feel when seeing other men being hit in the testicles. Honestly, I feel something similar when watching the party scene from the movie Titanic when Rose (played by great Kate Winslet) got en pointe just in her pantyhose.

I got a backlash from some of the commenters when I wrote that Peter and Bob offered their bodies, often without any protection to us girls for achieving realism in our self defense training and some argued that the pain they inevitably experienced (including the testicular pain) was not justified. Here I ask the question why an artistic performance is worth the pain more than the ability of young women to defend themselves in a life-threating situation.

I quitted ballet soon after I started, but my dear friend Amalie continued in her endeavor to become a professional ballerina. She studied an academy of performing arts and now has a contract in a ballet company. When we meet from time to time for a chat, she tells me a plenty of interesting stories, so I got a quite some insight from the professional ballet world. I wanted to see her in The Nutcracker so badly just before Christmas, but it was cancelled due to another covid wave. It is so sad how this pandemic took a toll on some professions.

Dance belt prevents testicular
injuries and hides the genitals

But to the point of this post. If you haven’t noticed yet, male ballet dancers do protect their testicles. Not only from the injury but also from the sight of spectators. They wear a special garment called the dance belt. In a way it is similar to the jock strap I already talked about before, but in a form of a thong. It has multiple functions both protective and aesthetic. When wore correctly, it lifts the male genitals up and onto the body and holds the testicles in the front and the penis pointed upwards.

Amalie explained me it is not a very comfortable piece to wear. Her dancing partner and her boyfriend is always relieved when he can take it off. Although not very convenient, without it any routine would be difficult or maybe not possible at all. Why to keep the male organs in such an awkward position? Well surprisingly the worse enemy for a danseur’s testicles is his limbs. Hanging loose, the testes would be frequently crushed between the thighs. And a danseur should fully focus on the dance not on his aching balls.

When Tom learned that I attended the ballet classes in the past, he started to brag in front of his friends he dates a ballerina. This is of course bullshit; I hardly remember the basic positions. Last time he demanded I show him some steps. I promised to do so only if he tries to do a changement completely naked for me in return. Well, not that easy move for a beginner but even more difficult with a swinging tender scrotum between the legs 😊.  As I expected, he ended up upset on our sofa ‘manspread’, giving his baby makers a bit of rest, and angrily commented “What a stupid activity, this should be done by women only.” I just laughed, patted him on his head and told him “My dear Tom, I told you, pain means gain, and not only the pain here.”  I pointed with my index on my toes.

Frequent compression of testicles between thighs might be quite uncomfortable, however, some of the most dangerous situations for the testicles happen during pas de deux, the dancing in pairs. For instance, when a ballerina does a pirouette and her knee spins around in a great speed very closely to the danseur bulged-out testicles. Look at the GIF how the danseur is focused when performing this routine. At this point a sudden loss of balance or misestimation of the distance can result in a horrible injury.

Another risky move are lifts. In this case a ballerina’s leg travels up and down inconveniently close to the man’s most sensitive parts. Any momentary hesitation or loosing the firm hold and her leg instead off the ground meets the danseur’s bulge. In the GIF below you can see such an accident. Luckily, this time the ballerina’s foot missed the partners groin by just a couple of centimeters. 

Amalie told me in her ballet company they have a nickname for such an accident, they called it the nutcracker 😊. So now you know The Nutcracker is not only the famous ballet piece I miss so badly because of the pandemics. Amalie also mentioned that these mishaps rarely happen during the actual performances but are quite common when rehearsing. The more inexperience the dancers are, the higher likelihood and frequency of such fails.

She admitted that once she accidentally kicked her ballet master in the groin when she was practicing the grand battement at barre. It is a move involving quick swings of the straight leg forward, sidewise and backwards. Unknowingly she is about to practice this move, he approached her to ask something when she suddenly thrusted her leg backwards and in her words “My heel just lifted him up off the ground by his balls. It was so funny as he was trying to keep composure and pretending like nothing serious happened, but it was obvious he was in great pain. I felt so sorry for him; he lost all his previous cockiness but luckily no ball. He avoided to talk to me for days.”  

She noted that some of these ‘accidents’ are not accidents at all, there is a lot of rivalry and competition between the dancers. Dirty tricks are often used to freeze out adversaries to gain opportunities etc. Outside the theatre stage, ballet is not such magical and glamorous world as many people believe. 

Some ballet steps resemble
self defense moves 

Amalie was very interested in the Linda’s self defense course. As all ballerinas she is beautiful with a perfect body, so she receives a lot of unwanted attention. She was thinking some of the techniques are similar to the ballet steps and it would not be difficult to learn them at all. She also added, “Well, I don’t need to be taught about the sensitivity of the testicles this I know already.” We started to laugh so loudly that the all the café guests’ eyes were on us.

Back to the topic of this post. It is important to note that the question of wearing a dance belt is not solely the danseur choice, it follows the visual preferences of the audience and enables to wear tights. The light padding smoothens the outline of the male organs, so they become less noticeable. Also, ballet involves vigorous movements and flopping and bouncing balls and penis would be quite distracting and embarrassing. It can even hide (at least to some extent :) any spontaneous boner. This also happens believe me, Amalie told me quite some hilarious stories. 

In conclusion, do I have the right to speak about the necessity of protective cups during sports? Yes, I think so. Do I support wearing a protection of male genitals during any sport or artistic performances? Yes, I do and not only for safeguarding the most sensitive and precious male parts.  

Zap those balls! ⚡

During the last lockdown we watched with Tom a lot of movies. The selection was quite diverse, Tom likes thrillers and action movies, I rather prefer movies to be romantic or artsy, so we had to alternate styles to satisfy both of us. It somehow happened we stumbled across a movie called ‘Eight legged freaks’ about inhabitants of a small Arizona town terrorized by giant mutated spiders. Rather a B-movie sure, but I admit it was actually a quite entertaining slack, not to mention seeing young Scarlett Johansson before she became famous. In one scene Ashley (played by Johansson) and her boyfriend Bret (played by Matt Czuchry) ended up in a pickup truck in the middle of the Arizona desert. For the horny guy it was apparently a right moment to try to push their relationship to a more intimate sphere. However, Ashley wanted to keep her virginity for a little bit longer and maybe did not see that dirty truck in the dusty desert as a very romantic setting. When the overzealous boy disrespected Ashley’s NO, she took a stun gun from her handbag and zapped his balls. This made a full stop to his unwanted advances. If you haven’t seen the movie, don’t worry I won’t make any more spoilers here.

There is always a risk in disrespecting a girl's NO

Tom and I had completely different reactions to this scene; Tom commented “A hysterical bitch.” I opposed his opinion “No Tom, the boy just got what he deserved. Next time he will be more attentive to the wishes of his girlfriend.”  Tom just shook his head in disagreement but then rather focused on the following action.

These movie scenes are not always a non-realistic fiction and sometimes do provide quite good ideas on different scenarios in female self defense, often not covered by conventional courses. Self defense tools for women’s protection is a broad and interesting topic, and as other aspects of female self defense, are shrouded in many controversies and dangerous misconceptions. You can hear or read a wide range of opinions from “The best thing you can do is to buy a pepper spray, you’ll be safe” to “These stupid gadgets are just to make money and do not work.” We already talked about the pepper spray and the penis as a neglected but highly sensitive target for capsaicin. Today I will discuss the stun gun also called the electroshock weapon.

As I mentioned before, Linda has never been a huge proponent of self defense tools but at the same time she has never disregarded them. She worried they might create a false sense of security and rather emphasized the idea that a girl should always learn the hand-to-hand techniques first and then to complement these skills with a protective tool. We had a couple of sessions where she described the proper usage of some of the common ones: pepper sprays, stun guns, keychains but also protective jewelry. Attacks usually come as a surprise and the tool might be just lying in your handbag or purse when needed. For this reason, when you appear in a risky situation, for instance being in a secluded area, you should firmly hold it in your hand to have it ready for the right moment. Often overlooked and rarely discussed is the applicability of these tools for last resort self defense. Even if a tool got forgotten and left unused initially, it might come in handy at the later stage of the attack. Linda covered this aspect in great depth during one of our training sessions. She brought three different types of stun guns. One was really big and scary looking; the second one was just a right size for a small woman’s hand. But our attention really grabbed the third one which looked like a pink lipstick.

Would you guess the pink lipstick
is actually a small stun gun?

“I would definitely buy this one as it looks super inconspicuous” exclaimed Laura and immediately told us a story. Once one of her friends was talking to a bunch of guys, one of them was her secret crush. She accidentally dropped her handbag, and besides all that common girly stuff – makeups and brushes etc., a pack of condoms, a huge pepper spray and a stun gun fell out. The boy she liked joked “It seems you have prepared a whole arsenal against us.” She told me it was quite an embarrassing moment; she was blushing like hell, but saved the situation by saying “Sometimes I simply have to stimulate guys with these.”

We were all laughing. Linda commented “Yes, professional models, like this black one, are used by police and are much powerful generating several millions of volts. But the lipstick-looking one, when used properly, can be effective as well, especially if used on the most sensitive areas of the attacker’s body. Their discreet appearance and small size are a plus. I do understand a woman feels much more comfortable carrying such a cute gadget rather than a huge weaponry”. She then explained us “The principle of the stun gun is to generate a high voltage which creates an electric arc between two electrodes. The discharge causes the muscles to spasm and a lot of pain. It is a non-lethal weapon, but it leaves two burn marks which also tag the attacker. You should always aim at the most vulnerable areas such as the neck, the armpit or the genitals. The highest effect can be achieved if these points are exposed, but it works through clothing as well.” 

She then surprised us and took out a piezoelectric gas lighter from her backpack “Who wants to try out how does it feel to get zapped?” Linda asked the audience. Ana, as always, boldly volunteered. As instructed by Linda, she put her finger in the nozzle of the lighter. Linda then pressed the trigger and Ana immediately shook her hand and screamed in pain “It f.cking hurts!”

“You see, and this is not even 1000 volts. Now imagine what several million volts can do. Any other volunteers?” No surprise, there were none.

Linda then announced the next activity “OK girls, now let me demonstrate the usage of this stun gun in some common attack scenarios.” She put the middle-sized stun gun in her rocker style black handbag, hung it over the shoulder, and called out Bob and Peter to play out bad guys. For the first scenario, she asked Peter to grab her in a front bear hug. I think both boys loved, but at the same were dead afraid of these very close contacts with Linda. Some hesitation was always apparent.

Linda, in Peter's tight hold, then explained step by step what she was doing “As you can see my movement is restricted by his hands, but I am still able to sneakily put my hand in the handbag to grab my weapon. The most available area in this case is his genitals. It is the target closest to your hand and out of his sight. As soon as she was holding the gun in her hand, she quickly pressed the electrodes into Peter’s prominent bulge. Suddenly a harrowing cracking sound came out! We all got shocked, but you should have seen Peter’s face as he almost jumped out of his skin.

The silence was broken by Laura whispering in awe “Did she just zap his balls?”.  

Linda was just smiling and hugged her ‘attacker’. “Sorry Peter, that was just a sound effect, I defuncted the arc generator.” Despite that affectionate hug, Peter looked at her in anger, but as usual this was his only protest.

Proper use of a stun on exposed testicles.

After a couple of demonstrations of other types of attacks, she moved on to discuss the instances when a stun gun can be used as a last resort self defense tool. As an example, she used the case of forced oral sex. “As always, the key is to deceive him. You can for instance tell him you want to use a condom you have in your purse. This creates a window of opportunity to secretly get hold of your weapon. It is important to never telegraph your intentions, try to keep it out of his sight as much as possible. His naked testicles are an excellent target for the electrocution. The best effect can be accomplished if the electrodes are positioned one at each testicle, so the discharge arc goes all across his genitals. Additionally, if the contact is made at the back of the scrotum, it makes it more difficult for him to budge or to pry it off him. You can even push him to your weapon with the other hand. Once he is stunned, use the opportunity to deliver additional debilitating blows. Do not hesitate to make his balls ache even more. Alternatively, if he has an erection, you might consider directing the electrodes to the exposed head of his penis. Greatly effective in eliminating any dirty sexual desires as well.”

She then turned to the cringing boys, raised her mighty device and triggered that horrible sound effect again “Bob, now it is your turn to help me with the practical demonstration…”

Interview with Linda (part 2)

In the first part we already learned about Linda’s occupation, how she got into self defense and about her interesting research. In this instalment we will discuss male volunteers, how she found Bob and Peter and get them involved. I also hope she will satisfactorily rebut some of the concerns about their treatment during the course.

Linda maybe we can now talk about the course you lead. How long have you been teaching the course?

This year it is already the fifth season.

You mentioned that you received some backlash from the management. What happened?

The new dean gave the Linda's course a green light

When I was setting up the course, I knew that my style of the teaching will not be everyone’s cup of tea, but to be honest I was not expecting such a resistance. Apparently, there have been some anonymous reports—I don’t know from who—to the departmental management that I promote violence and I ‘misuse’ the male volunteers. I was told that I must ‘readjust the curriculum to follow the university moral codex and protect the dignity of all participants immediately.’ 

However, the atmosphere changed with the election of our new dean. One of her goals is to cope with epidemics of sexual misconduct and to increase safety on campuses. I had a brief meeting with her, and she told me she alone was a victim during her studies. She supported me in everything I do, and said to me, “I do not care if it is offensive or what your methods are, if it works, teach it! Linda, I need you to teach those girls proper self defense. If I had more time I would love to join and learn how to properly kick balls.” The allocated budget is also quite generous so I could buy some new equipment and give some small cash to Bob and Peter, so they have another reason to stay. It would be a pity to lose them.

I remember all the rumors about your unconventional approach. Some of us girls were afraid to participate, one of my classmates called me crazy because I did. Do you know you even got a nickname?

Not really, what is it?

‘Cruelinda’

(We both laughed). Well, I do not force anybody. Those not afraid to join my course—usually 5 to 8 students—are very committed and motivated and even thou maybe having some initial doubts and qualms, they soon realize why I do things the way I do. My mission is to teach self defense to young women properly, not to be politically correct.

Let’s talk a little bit about our two ‘darling attackers’, Bob and Peter. Have you had any volunteers before?

Yes, the course volunteers are usually the same I use for my research. Because Mike and Felix decided to leave due to that accident, I had to find new ones. I was very lucky I got Bob and Peter.

So how did you find them?

Linda recruits male volunteers 
among university students

They are our master students at the department. I was looking for the replacement of the two lost volunteers to be able to continue with my research and the course. At first, I thought I will make an advertising poster and stick it in a hallway, but one of my colleagues came to me that she already has two good candidates. She told me both were too focused on their training and forgot to take some theoretical courses and now they are missing some ECTS credits and whether participation in the experiments and the course can earn them some. So, I invited them to an interview to my office.

How did the interview go? How did you convince them?

Both were quite shy from the beginning. I think I explained them in all honesty what the goals and methods of my research are and what the course is about. I stressed that the training is very realistic, as will be their role as model attackers. I told them that I am looking for someone comfortable to get naked in front of the girls and not being afraid of direct physical contact. This also means they should expect some trashing and pain, including the testicular pain. This cannot be completely avoided when teaching female self defense. I told them this is just a small price to pay if they are dedicated to make their female fellows safe. I promised them that I will arrange those ECTS points and such a volunteering activity will look good on their CVs.

How did they react?

They gazed at me in surprise first, then at themselves, but finally nodded in agreement. I guess they really needed those ECTS points. But then I said “All right, show me your true commitment and drop your pants!” You should have seen they surprised faces. Peter asked, “You mean like right now?” I insisted, “Yes, I am serious, I need to see your genitals.” Reluctantly, with a blushing face, but they did. This wasn’t just to test their true commitment—they passed—I also wanted to see if they are suitable for the purpose of the particular research objectives and to be able to demonstrate variability in one of the most important targets. As you could also notice, they have a bit different testicles and penises.

Are you satisfied with them?

So far yes. I was glad we are going to have assistants in the same age group as the female participants. Statistics are clear, most university-aged women will be attacked by an attacker of their age, often classmates or dates. It does not only add to the realism of the training, but it also helps in bonding. Surely it can get quite intimate sometimes. Their athletic body type and stamina is also a plus. One of my philosophies is that girls should always go through that important empowering step of taking down a man regardless of their height, size or muscle mass. I always ensure this experience happens for every girl during the course.

How would you react to those accusations that you did not treat them well?

Linda arranged sperm count for
Bob and Peter to rebut any concerns 

Those boys are not from sugar. Both do sports on a semi-professional level. This means they must obey an authority and submit to a strict discipline. They train and workout daily, so they are used not to be treated with kids gloves. Last but not least, they were informed and agreed to help with the class with all it takes. Importantly, they also signed a waiver. When there was a problem I or Susanne took a good care of them. By the way she would be a perfect andrologist as well. She could be very empathetic with guys and also gentle with her hands. I admit that occasionally they left the dojo limping, with some bruises and they might have had to skip sex from time to time, but I am sure they have not sustained any permanent injury. However, once they earned those ECTS points to keep them for the next round I remunerate them with some pocket money. So technically they are not volunteering anymore. 

There has been a heated discussion in the comments, whether they got ‘harmed’ or not.

I always try to find a good balance between the realism and effectiveness of the training and the risk of permanent injury of our dear assistants. You can confirm that in some instances, when a serious injury would be imminent, I insisted they wore a cup and a head protector. However, full force, ‘no punches pulled’ sparing is an integral part of my teaching and accidents cannot be completely avoided. So yes, from time to time we had to deal with bruises, black eyes, limps, and a swollen scrotum. Luckily, neither of those have required any medical assistance.

Nevertheless, some of you, especially Laura and Susanne were concerned about long-term effect on their reproductive health. To comfort them, I arranged a sperm count check at a fertility clinic where one of my friends works as a clinician. I also saw some anti-doping screening results so I can reassure everybody that their sperm count and the level of testosterone is perfectly normal for boys of their age. Their role was to play attackers so one can expect they got beaten and be harmed in the same way as one can expect they fall from a bike from time to time getting some nasty bruises. I am pretty sure if they did MMA they would be at higher risk of serious injury. 

Doing any kind of sport puts a male at
risk of testicular injury

This is what I would say to all my critics. If you have serious concerns about men’s ‘testicular health and safety’, advocate for mandatory cups not only in MMA fights but also in other sports such as soccer. Occasionally we do a mixed match between our female and the male soccer team, and I could never understand that strange carelessness when it comes to wearing cups. It is so tiring to deal all the time with a male player writhing on the playground in horrible pain. And it is also so heart-wrenching to see those young men anxiously protecting their genitals when making a wall during the free kicks. So who is a sadist here me or the coaches of the male team?

To be continued...

Does size matter? 🍒

Testosterone and sperm are the
two great products of testicles.

No, this post won’t be about the importance of the penis proportions. There is already a lot of articles out there about this topic, and of course I have my own opinion on the subject 😊. But today I will talk about the size of the two tender thingies dangling behind the man’s pride. The testes are male reproductive glands—extremely productive little factories producing both male hormones androgens and sperm. In one of my earlier posts, I already mentioned that their size and shape do vary significantly among men, the average size is app. 4 cm (1.6 inch) in length and 3 cm (1.2 inch) in width.

What is the significance of the testicular size for female self defense? The first thing to mention relates to the varying levels of testosterone. For years it has been a controversial theory, but several recent studies finally confirmed that testes with increased volume do make more testosterone. This also implies, the more ‘testicularly endowed’ a man is, the higher likelihood of him becoming a dangerous aggressor.

Not all testicles are high up on the scale. 

Ironically, large balls also represent a larger target for numerous techniques of female self defense. For instance, during kicking and kneeing the risk of balls escaping the impact is lower and the chance of hitting them 'dead on' significantly increases. However, a woman with small hands might have some difficulties to effectively grab such a sizable scrotum. In this case the best option is to focus the attack on just one testicle and possibly to apply the divide and conquer principle mentioned before. On the other hand, when the testicles are small, they tend to slip out of the grip more easily.

Throughout the course, Linda made a really great effort to cover all the possible variables in detail. During one training session we looked into the importance of testicular size both theoretically and practically. As I mentioned before, she often used various analogues of testicles in her teaching. That evening she brought a couple of different types of fruits. Some were from her garden, some especially those tropical ones, she had to buy in a supermarket. She laid in front of us pairs of gooseberries, cherries, strawberries, plums, figs, kiwis and small avocados and gave us some perspective first.

“Representation of testicles by fruits has deep historical and linguistic roots. For instance, the word avocado comes from the old Aztecan ahuakatl, which also meant testicle. And as you probably know ‘plums’ and ‘nuts’ are also used as colloquial expressions for testicles in English.” She explained us that the fruits she brought depict the wide range of testicular sizes of men. The average testicles more closely resemble plums, but it is not uncommon that they reach the size of small avocados. Then she also mentioned that given the positive correlation between the testicular volume and testosterone production, it is quite likely that a woman would encounter an attacker with overgrown glands.

 Range of testicular sizes represented by various fruits.

After this intro Linda initiated a group work. “Girls divide into two groups and discuss and specify which of these fruits resemble Bob’s and Peter’s testicles the most.”

“Linda, you mean just size-wise or also how hairy and wrinkly they are?” Ana asked  humorously.  We all immediately burst in laughter.

Linda was smiling as well. “This time focus on their size, but of course you can comment on other aspects as well.”

We already got quite familiar with both of our ‘darling attackers’ young balls, yet we have not reached a unanimous opinion on the task. After a couple of minutes-long, very heated discussion the leaders of the groups were about to announce the outcome.

Ana started on behalf of her group. “We finally agreed that Bob’s testicles resemble smaller kiwis by both size and hairiness, Peter’s figs by their size, but avocados how bumpy the skin is.”

“Thank you Ana, and what about you?” Linda inquired the other group. Laura responded, as always quite shyly. “Well, we actually had quite some disagreement in our group, but the final outcome is that both do not have testicles larger than these plums.” She used her index finger to point on the two plums lying on the mat. “However, some of us believe that maybe those of Bob reach the size of these figs.” She then moved her finger over the figs.

“Well, I see there is indeed quite some disagreement.” Linda commented these results, “OK, lets have a look who got it right.” She called the two boys to leave their smartphones and to join the girls’ discussion forum.

Once they stood in front of us, she asked them directly, “Boys, will you show us your balls?”

Linda used the fruits like a
regular orchidometer

They already lost their shyness and got used to Linda’s ‘weird’ requests and without much hesitation they pulled down their shorts and proudly exposed their genitals. Linda then gently scooped up each scrotum with her hand, removed the penis to the side with her thumb and by putting the suggested fruits next to them she was able to make a precise comparison. Exactly like a doctor would use an orchidometer. This measurement proved that neither of the two groups made a correct estimation. Bob’s testicles were more like plums and those of Peter were as big as strawberries. 

“You little bit overestimated their family jewels. However, both are perfectly in norm and as you can see they produce enough of testosterone to make them good sportsmen with nice muscular bodies.” She gently caressed their six-packs to signify her statemen.

“Thank you boys for this kind demonstration!” She looked at them with satisfaction and helped them to pull up their shorts and at the same time she patted both affectionately on their buttocks. “OK, now go back to your smartphones, I will call you once again for the practical session once I finish the theoretical part with the girls…”