To make egg sandwiches 🥪

Men spread their legs when sitting.
This puts them in a vulnerable position. 

 In one of the previous posts, I already talked about the phenomenon of how men tend to sit in a relaxed position with their legs spread at a wide angle. The reason for this is anatomical as well as sociological and psychological. Today I want to look at this issue from the important self defense perspective. As I mentioned several times, Linda went far in the idea that we learn to react effectively in all possible circumstances with all available tools. One such, often-neglected scenario is when the attacker is sitting or in a reclined position. This can for instance happen during a date rape attempt, office harassment, in the car when encountering the wrong guy during hitchhiking, or when enjoying the sun in the park on a bench and some pest starts bothering you. Luckily, Linda provided valuable tips and tricks for these situations and highlighted the most applicable techniques. Of course, our two darling attackers Bob and Peter did not dodge their duty and were heavily involved in the related educational and training process. We learned that it does not take much to turn the tables and to use male anatomy and macho behavior to our advantage, the lesson, our two guys learned is to never blatantly spread legs or… 😊

Linda explained to us: “You probably noticed when a man rests on a seat, he often assumes a typical male pose, legs spread to give his testicles some ease and air to breathe but at the same time it puts him into a vulnerable position as it also creates a convenient opening for certain types of strikes. However, some staple techniques such as kicking and kneeing are not generally applicable, grabbing is, but getting a good lock on a partially seat-shielded scrotum can be tricky, as opposed to a freely hanging sack. Punching with the fist ultimately appears to be the best option but it must be done properly to get the best result. For instance, a hammer fist is not something I recommend, let me show you why.” She took a small apple from her bag, possibly the latest harvest from her orchard, and put it on the wooden bench. “Look, in a classical hammer fist strike, if I hit this apple like this, despite quite good momentum, my hand bounces up and the power dissipates because of the low hardiness of the striking surface, the bottom of the fist. It surely hurts…. but rather my hand.” She demonstratively smashed the apple like a mallet with quite some force, yet causing only mild distortion of the fruit.

Forming the N sign with your fist
creates a deadly striking weapon.  

“Now to do significant damage, you should fold your hand like the letter N in sign language”,  of course, we stared at her confused so she immediately explained “Like this”, she swung her arm up for us to see. “Put the thumb below the pointer and middle finger, which you bent so their knuckles protrude sharply outward in a V shape. See how the thumb firmly fixes the bent fingers. This is a great striking piece for any soft targets including testicles.” She turned her deadly weapon towards us and tapped the sharp double bump with the other hand’s fingers to make the point. Then she swung her arm up and impacted the same apple from above, using those two knuckles as a spear. A horrible crushing sound followed, the apple got almost completely split and the pieces of apple splashed all around. “Target destroyed!” commented Linda her success with obvious satisfaction, as she wiped off the apple remnants from her fingers.  

The sandwich maker gave the name to a
brutal technique of female last resort self defense 

“When striking testicles, ideally each knuckle is intended for one of his testicles. In many cases, this is not possible, especially because of the shielding by the penis, but you can do a number just on one testicle as well, especially if you manage to follow the right angle. What helped me crush this apple was the hard bottom support of the wooden bench. When a man sits, consider the relaxed freely hanging testicles resting on the seat surface. In this case, the best if the strike comes from above or at least at a 45° angle to sandwich the organs between the seat and your fist. That’s why I call this method a sandwich maker because it reminds me of how I prepare my favorite sandwiches with poached eggs. It is like clapping the hot top metal plate of the appliance and sandwiching the delicate juicy eggs between the two toast bread slices. They stay compressed and sealed between the toasts …an excellent quick lunch, or when traveling… highly recommend…. yummy.”  After this quick culinary tip, she went back to the main topic of the session. “So visualize you are making a sandwich with his ‘not-so-hard eggs’ as a filling between your fist and the seat.”  As always, as oddly as they sounded, these ‘fruity and eggy’ approximations actually helped. At that quick instance, we all imagined making a ‘testicle sandwich’, and such weird surreal thinking drew grins on our faces.

Visualize preparing a sandwich from poached eggs.  

Linda continued “This method works perfectly on low-hanging scrota, if he has already removed his pants and underwear, and you can visually locate the target. Even if not, you can perform the move anyway. In this case, however, the strike must come in a horizontal line, imagine your fist is like a piston and the arm is a drive rod, the hard backing is his pelvis bone.”  She made us make a few rounds with our arms like an old-type locomotive. “You often cannot see the target because you are positioned sideways or because of his clothing. It does not matter, you can effectively use the contour of his leg to guide your fist toward the opening between his penis and inner thigh, directly into the goolie, left or right, depending on your position. As the piston of an engine…hit continuously as many times as possible in quick succession.” added our self defense guru.

Linda suddenly turned her head towards the opposite corner of the dojo, where our two darling attackers were innocently relaxing on a bench. In the beginning likely just checking the latest results of sports competitions or playing games on their smartphones but Linda’s loud apple-crushing routine grabbed their attention and now they both looked quite concerned. Linda turned back to us. “You see, both are in their typical comfortable position with their legs open, excellent, it calls for some real demonstration!”  We followed Linda and surrounded the guys in a semicircle, in anticipation of another interesting presentation.

The sandwich-making technique.
Compress the testicles between the knuckles of the pointer
and the middle finger and the hard backing of the seat. 

Linda sat next to Bob and gently put her hand on his shoulder. This was maybe to ease the anxiety, which was obviously not ungrounded.  She looked into his eyes. “I must show the girls something and need you to ‘go like Adam’.” Knowingly he couldn't get away from her demands he followed the code and shyly pulled his gym shorts and briefs down and sat again but this time he somewhat instinctively closed the gap between his legs and got into a more decent pose. To Linda’s dissatisfaction. “Sit like before”, she requested resolutely and once he, still a bit reluctantly did, she started the detailed explanation. Some of the girls came closer so they better see between his legs, they knew it was the place where the show takes place.

“Ladies, look at his testicles resting on the seat surface protected by his flaccid penis laying on them.” She used her finger to point at the area of interest where the two hairy orbs met the wood of the bench. “If my fist comes from above, I can easily forcefully compress them, and they have no room to escape.” She formed an N sign fist, pushed the soft penis to the side, and gently pressed the full sack, each knuckle one testicle till they bulged under the pressure, like two balloons before bursting. Luckily she did the demonstrative move only for short and without passing the danger threshold, just for us to see the mechanism and the effect.  Still, we sighted it as it looked malicious and painful. The brave young man yelped loudly and was now breathing heavily. However, it was not the end.  Linda continued “Now in a horizontal type of strike, I use his inner thigh surface as a guidance and his pelvic bone as the hard backing.” Her arm shifted the angle and performed the sandwich-making technique in that direction. She did not need to push the penis aside, the convenient crevice was there, just his right testicle was unlucky this time. Once she released the push, I noticed the fear-shriveled scrotum turned a bit reddish as well as Bob’s face. “In real life, use the greatest momentum of your arm to gain the full force and speed for explosive punching. Then a testicular rupture is ensured.” She patted him on the head as a sign of appreciation for his help. The visible sign of relief on Bob’s face was telling.  He deserved a break so she turned to Peter waiting disquietly. Luckily for him, this time she did not ask for genital exposition, as she sought we see the action in such a situation.

Play along approach can be the best strategy
for executing the right techniques
including the sandwich maker.

“Let's play out a common scenario. Peter is going to be a young over-amorous guy who sat next to me on a park bench and starts to misbehave, being rude and touching my boobs, without permission. He looked at Peter, which meant ‘Action!’ He very shyly wrapped his right arm around Linda’s back, so his hand reached Linda’s right boob. This would normally mean came his lucky day, but he knew, that luck wouldn't last long. For an overconfident horny attacker, his face looked too nervous. Linda shook her head “What a shy bogus attacker, please give it more passion!” Peter gathered all his courage and grabbed the big boob like a real man, even smirking a bit to display his gained confidence and bravery. Linda smiled back. “That’s better!”

Linda communicated her plan “To get rid of him, I apply a play-along approach. I return his interest and use my hand to express a sign of sexual favor.” She gently rubbed the young man’s muscular thigh, so passionately I could see his thin black hair stand up. The slight movement in his shorts indicated something else was moving up as well.  “He cannot see or guess my intentions. When my hand is in the right position I use the moment of his excitement that it goes his way, I quickly rotate and arch my arm, make an N sign fist, accelerate it along the thigh… and bang! and bang! again!” She did that and immediately commented on the expected outcomes. “The sharp blows stunt him, he crosses his legs to protect his testicles against further blows and puts his hands over his crotch. However,  this exposes his upper body.  I use my other hand to grab his hair and jerk his head sharply backward.” Gosh, she was rough, poor boy might lost a few hairs. She continued  “I just keep my right fist in the N sign, go up with my arm, and smash his exposed Adam's apple… and another one just for good measure,  and finally I finish with a sharp strike to his temple before I safely leave the wrecked thug and the scene.”

The whole sequence was quick, and although she softened the strikes, barely touching the male sensitive spots, poor Peter experienced quite some discomfort, his muscular body stayed folded, legs crossed, weakly whining. Well, as one could expect, grabbing Linda’s boob won't be without consequences 😉.  She ruffled his pulled aching hair and whispered in his ear “Thanks for the assistance.” The whole thing looked so wild, dangerous, and brutal, that we again sighted in awe.  After a quick moment of silence Laura excitedly asked “May we also try?” Susanne stepped in “But not before we check if they both are OK”.  “And after we eat the juicy testicle sandwiches!” added humorously Ana.  We all burst into laughter…

The Legacy of Shirley Temple - inspirational story #7

We all must learn from the lessons of the past. Unfortunately, some important stories we could learn from are not told loud enough or even at all. With this post, I continue the popular series of inspirational stories to educate and empower.

Shirley Temple in 1941

Despite not considering myself a crazy movie fan, I have always been intrigued by the Hollywood golden era of cinema. In my mind, it was a unique time of excitement, glamour, and cultural boom. I recently read a very interesting biographical article about one of the female movie stars from that era, Shirley Temple. She started acting at a very early age and gained incredible fame. Despite having great success in the movie industry and even in diplomacy, she went through many difficulties in her life. One of the deeply troubling issues in her acting career, she recalled in her memoirs. Being an attractive young actress, she was constantly sexually attacked by powerful executives, producers, and co-workers. It seems the way how it works in the entertainment business: I get sex and you get the job, is apparently a pattern over a century-long and was fully exposed just recently by the MeToo movement. The paradox is, in comparison to the actresses from the modern era, she handled some uncomfortable situations extremely well. I want to share with you an account I took from a media network Ranker.com:

For the entirety of her brief film career, Temple was forced to fight off sexual predators, as she was regularly groped, threatened, and terrorized by men.

After she rebuked one Hollywood producer for his advances, he responded, “Look, I’m going to be a big executive. We’re going to have to get along... What I had in mind was just a workplace formality.”

“It may be in your contract, but not mine,” she replied.

“Sex is like a glass of water,” the man she simply refers to as “Wizard” continued. “You get thirsty, you drink. You want sex, you have it.”

Then there was the beloved comedian George Jessel, who once invited her to his office to “discuss a key role” in his upcoming film:

Lift my skirt without permission, get a knee,
that's how it worked in the golden era of Hollywood. 

We were standing a pace apart, eyeball to eyeball. In one swift movement he opened his trousers and, with a sudden reach, encircled me with one arm… I could feel his other hand groping to lift my shirt. Hard on the heels of the Wizard, this new assault seemed unreal, but little could I do but thrust my right knee upward into his groin... Pain, disgust, and hate flickered across his face, but I felt no mercy. More and more the adult movie business seemed populated with a bunch of copulating tomcats.

Shirley reacted swiftly, responsibly, and resolutely. I assume she had not attended any fancy self defense course and despite that, she was able to handle the situation extremely well. It reminded me of another inspirational story from an actress, I already published some years ago. 

As Shirley said, the asshole deserved no sympathy. Hopefully, he learned his lesson; he could feel lucky she did not use any other more brutal self defense techniques, given his genitals were exposed and in the end did not lose any of his two precious organs. Maybe I would go far with this comment, but I truly think if all young actresses were told how to handle pushy horny men, we could have avoided all those tiring Hollywood sex attack scandals and allegations. What an inspiring story from such a wonderful woman….

P.S.

Some of you wrote me very interesting stories via email and I want to publish them all in this renewed series, just that I must find time to provide the necessary commentary. I ask you for patience.

Interview with Tina

Tina is a busy young female academic doing
controversial but important research. 

In some of my previous posts, I mentioned that Linda is not just a female self-defense trainer, she has a faculty position at the Faculty of Physical Education and besides teaching several courses, and coaching a women’s football team, she also does cutting-edge research in the relatively new but also controversial field of experimental female self-defense. I have been always intrigued and wanted to learn more and make a blog post about it. When I contacted her recently, Linda told me that unfortunately she is going through some medical treatment soon, and the best would be to interview Tina, a recently graduated Ph.D. student in her group, whom I already briefly met once when I was interviewing Linda. I thought it was an excellent idea, so I immediately wrote her an email and arranged a meeting. I was very excited when I met her in her office at the university. She offered me a cup of coffee, I made myself comfortable in an armchair and looked around. Her office looked like a typical working place of a busy young academic; shelves were filled with various books, and on the walls were hanging pictures from meetings and conferences as well as snapshots of training sessions and successful experiments and some medical posters and art. On her desk, she had the most special piece, a detailed plastic anatomy model of male genitals in real size.

One of Tina's office wall decorations.
This art signifies she has to deal with different
penis and testicle types.

It was very enjoyable to meet such an ambitious and knowledgeable young female scientist. Tina is very passionate about her work, and I especially appreciate her openness and transparency about some sensitive topics. The interview with her was an eye-opening experience, and I am sure you will enjoy it as well.

Thank you very much Tina for agreeing to this interview, I think what you and Linda do is quite fascinating but a bit shrouded in mystery. Can you tell us a bit about your research field?

The field I and Linda work in is now called experimental gyneaftoamynology from the Greek words gynaíka - female and aftoámyna - self-defense as a newly established branch of physical education. Its primary aim is to make female self-defense systems most effective through empirical investigations. It means that instead of relying on some anecdotal evidence or unproven theories and assumptions, we put the theories to the test. It is a multidisciplinary discipline, and it combines different aspects from human anatomy and physiology, to psychology, and physical education.

Interesting, so what does your workday look like?

Like all scientists, I am busy from early morning to late afternoon. Basically, I run on coffee… there is always a lot of new literature to read, then I am often occupied with writing manuscripts and reports, filing, and submitting applications for grants and ethics commission approvals, recruiting test subjects, planning, and then, of course doing the experiments…this is what I and Linda like the most. But nothing is easy, and it requires a great amount of commitment and hard work. In the end, it is always so rewarding to get the hard-earned results. Sometimes we must go down the rabbit hole with unexpected outcomes popping up…can be quite thrilling.

What attracted you to this research field and how you made up your decision to do a PhD?

Initially, I wanted to become a high school physical education teacher. In the second year of my study, I was so amazed by Linda’s lectures. She was talking about things I had never heard before, I realized that this is the research that saves lives but hardly makes headlines. As an undergraduate student, I learned about two cases of a sex attack on campus. One sadly ended in rape, and the other one failed as the girl, trained in Karate successfully defended herself.  The ‘poor’ attacker was left with multiple serious injuries including a ruptured testicle after a well-executed Kin Geri. I too was harassed during my first year by a guy and did not know how to properly react. I realized the outcome of a sex attack does not need to be predetermined; a girl can win if she is provided with the right knowledge and skills. To help to drive a paradigm shift in society I embarked on a mission to help Linda use science to equip women with the best knowledge and tools to accomplish their safety in this dangerous world.

What do you think about Linda? How is it to work with her?

I admire her a lot, she is an outstanding scholar, a great supervisor, and a role model for the generation of young female scientists like me. She is a fountain of unconventional ideas. You probably know her, a little bit special personality from the course, she is strict and very demanding but also focused and goal-oriented. One might argue that she occasionally crosses the line or maybe she is too uncompromised when it comes to male test subjects, but it is necessary to reach the desired goal. Not only is the research topic difficult, but she also must cope with many criticisms and obstacles. It is commendable how she can materialize her real-life experience including the time she worked for the SIREN program and that she is not afraid of directly, without any euphemisms to address any awkward topics. She can talk nonchalantly about the details of testicular injuries and eye gouging the same way as about gardening and cake cooking…squeamishness is definitely not in her dictionary. But I guess you know that from the course (Tina was smiling).

You recently defended your doctoral thesis. What is the title and topic?

My thesis has the title Evaluating physical last resort strategies to prevent rape. It covers a thorough investigation and evaluation of the techniques and finding the best strategies for incapacitation the attacker and enabling the victim to flee. We evaluated the effectiveness in targeting all vulnerable points on the male body: eyes, Adam's apple, penis, and testicles. To some extent, I investigated almost all of them, but I mainly focused on my and Linda’s favorite, testicles. As you know there has always been a lot of controversy surrounding these sensitive male organs. You can hear so many conflicting arguments and different pieces of advice, so we wanted to settle this debate once and for all. We wanted to address issues such as: How incapacitating it is, which techniques should be used to a level a woman can cause an injury, and even what is the best method to apply the most secure grasp even when the man has pants on. Now, we can confidently claim, that the success of targeting testicles is much higher than previously admitted, we have solid proof and evidence it simply works in many different situations and is highly incapacitating. I hope with our outcomes we put the long-standing debate to an end. However, we found out that, to achieve success, women must be taught these things properly without any reservation, and they must practice regularly as the automatic, correct, and right-moment execution of the techniques is crucial.

How did you find out? Can you tell us about your experiments?

Well, there were many, but I can tell you about one very interesting experiment in which we had two groups of female students. The control group was not taught any physical techniques, and the other test group was provided with detailed comprehensive information on the male anatomy and the vulnerable points of the male body, and how to injure those. Pretty much they were taught the same things as you were in the course. They could even practice some techniques on silicone testicles (We will talk about it later).

Many female participants report an empowering experience that they
share with their peers and express willingness to come back

We arranged a simulated scenario when they had to subdue a man attacking her. The first group's success rate was app. 20%, quite low in comparison to the second group for which the success rate went through the roof, reaching 70%. It was hilarious to see all those young guys on the floor clutching their anguished groins. We even had some medical emergencies, but luckily no permanent injuries, just some bruising and swelling of the scrotums. Sometimes we even had to step in to stop overenthusiastic women in their rage to prevent harm to male subjects. We calculated we could reduce the incidence the rape by at least half if we properly teach young women these techniques. This shows the barriers are not that difficult to break, we just need to find a better way how to empower women instead of saying: You are weak sex, live with it…and all that bullshit…excuse my language. It was amazing to see the ladies leaving the room with great confidence, evidently empowered, bragging about their new skills and ‘injuries’ they were able to cause on male organs when chatting with the other group…and the knowledge of newly gained power was transferred.

That’s quite fascinating. Any other experiment?

Part of my thesis was to find the best way to attack testicles with a hand in different situations on clothed or naked attackers. A serious issue, but I cannot recall having other times such great fun. We had two guys, with distinct types of scrotum: tight and loose. They exchanged different underwear and pants and of course, at some point, they had to undress completely. We had to cope with frequent unwanted erections, faints, intermittent screams, importantly also ‘Eureka’ moments. One female participant satisfied she finally managed to apply a secured lock on a tight scrotum, exclaimed: ‘Now is the time to test the best method for testicular rupture!’ The other girls around laughed, and the poor boys cringed. Well, it could be an interesting activity, but we cannot afford to put their delicate reproductive organs at such risk. Sometimes, the screams combined with loud laughter from our lab can be heard in the hallways, and we have people knocking on the door, being horrified, and asking what’s going on…Well, that’s the price of doing such innovative research. Now Linda can go to the course and teach you confidently what should you do when a filthy scrotum appears close to your hand.  

I would expect it to be difficult to get volunteers for your experiments, isn’t it? How do you attract them?

We recruit both female and male test subjects among faculty students; male subjects are usually semi-professional athletes. We prefer young fit men, with a good physique. It is telling to see their strength is in vain when applying the right techniques to the core of their masculinity. Before admission, they have to go through a rigorous selection process and we do not accept everybody. We look at the size and type of their pressure points including their genitals to account for as many variables as possible.

Male participants are selected from faculty students
based on different parameters. Muscular physique and
types of their genitals are some of them. 

And what does attract them? Surprisingly, there is no shortage of volunteers. Linda made several funny recruitment ads (Tina pointed at the posters on the wall with interesting graphics and text ‘We need your balls’), but I don’t think this is the reason. The motivations of the participants are diverse and differ between males and females. They usually get some ECTS points for volunteering and some small monetary compensation. I think many of them come out of curiosity and sometimes guys make a bet with their pals, or they are convinced it is just a prank and at the end, they are often unpleasantly surprised. The shock often comes the moment we ask them to expose themselves for genital evaluation. But that’s the game we play. They must sign a waiver and we brief them about what kind of participation we expect. Surprisingly many come back and want to participate again, even without any reward. Female participants often in the final questionnaire account for how empowering experience it was to participate in the project, and whether there is an opportunity to help more. Interestingly, since we started our research, we noticed fewer rape attempts reported here than other faculties. 

What is the most difficult part of doing the experiments?

Sometimes the experimental part is very demanding and not a piece of cake for the experimenter as well as a female, or male participant. First, we must break common barriers such as squeamishness, prudence, and shyness but we also must consider safety. The experimental setup inevitably involves handling bare genitals and causing pain, which can't be avoided. We often must repeat an experiment several times, even if we see the male subject cannot take it anymore. Simply we need enough repetitions to make a solid statistical conclusion. But how else would you answer the question of whether a particular technique is effective or not, without actually performing it in real? Some interesting questions were posted by your blog readers, regarding for instance the type of testicles and different situations that need to be investigated. But we always weigh the benefits and possible risks. Nevertheless, I admit some experiments can be fun and bring a lot of satisfaction in case of positive outcomes.

I heard from Linda about one unfortunate experiment when a volunteer ended up in the hospital can you tell us more about it?

So-called freezing is often considered a common problem in female self-defense. We wanted to investigate this phenomenon closely, so we simulated an unexpected hyperrealistic attack on me. I did not know when and where it was going to happen. One of our volunteers Mike, played out an attacker in the dark parking lot when I was leaving the campus. Maybe because I undertook training I did not freeze and reacted the best I could. A sharp elbow rear jab and a swift back kick with my heel did the ‘intended job’. The ‘attacker’ unfortunately…well if in real life fortunately…ended up in hospital with a broken rib and contusion in his left testicle. He recovered through but did not want to participate in our research anymore, which was a pity. I liked Mike a lot, he was a very useful male test subject.

I admit it was enjoyable when we trained with Bob and Peter. However, many women cannot train male partners. What is for example the best simulant of testicles or eyes? You already mentioned the silicone model...

Training self-defense and proper targeting of vulnerable points such as testicles or eyes is undoubtedly difficult. Of course, a real set of testicles is the best, but not always available so some realistic models help. In a small project, we tested different everyday objects and compared them to testicles, on all parameters including the texture and pressure necessary to cause rupture. We can recommend lemons and limes. These fruits are readily available in all grocery stores and when squeezing all the juice out, is a good exercise for gaining finger strength… of course, they are also a great source of vitamins as well. Plums and small apricots are also suitable analogs because of their right texture, shape, and size. As for the eyes, the gooseberries are excellent but sometimes hard to get. We sought to develop something more durable and nondisposable so we recently collaborated with a urologist from a nearby clinic Dr. Lane, and developed a prototype of a very true-to-life durable simulant of male genitals for some hardcore training. She provided us with critical parameters and valuable advice on anatomy and variables. No one knows better male genitals than someone handling them every day (Tina reached for the peculiar object and handed it to me for inspection. It was indeed almost like the real piece).

Realistic silicone models are being developed
for female self-defense training.

This thing is made from high-quality durable silicone and contains hard rubber testes with the same resistance as real glands with detailed plumbing attached including epididymis and spermatic cord. No death pinch will ever fail! With this strap, it can be easily fastened to common leather-kicking dummies and is perfectly sanitizable so can be used for training biting techniques as well. Linda has a pair of these and is going to use them in her course. We contacted some silicone molding companies for mass production, but all showed no interest, luckily, we found one with a female CEO who was very enthusiastic and wanted to help even without any financial profit, so I hope we can get it on the market soon.

I guess you need some ethics approval and what about funding such research?

That’s right, we have to apply for the ethics commission approvals, and it is always a pain in the ass. In the last couple of years, we have been lucky because of our female dean, who has been very supportive of our cause and not afraid to accommodate controversial research topics and ideas at the faculty. She clearly understands the significance and impact of the field and that the path to the results is challenging and not well-trodden. Without her, I have a doubt we could continue our work.

Not only ethics approvals, but it is also extremely difficult to get sufficient funding because of the contentious and neglected topic. We regularly receive a lot of harsh criticism, mainly from male management and application reviewers. We even get a type of response: Why does she need funding, all she does is squeeze testicles all day long, what kind of research is that? Damn, how ignorant! (Tina was visibly upset)

I heard you also gather and evaluate the data from real-life situations...

Testicles can swell to the size of oranges
after some proper 'treatment'.

Indeed, experiments are just part of our activities and medical and police reports are a very valuable source of data. We gather and review those and critically evaluate and statistically process all cases, both successful and unsuccessful. We also perform interviews with women with experience in such situations. It is interesting how many success cases go unnoticed by the press and media, which is a pity. Dr. Lane provided us with some valuable data from the emergency cases she encountered while working at the urology ER. I have seen pictures of attackers' genitals significantly ‘modified’ as a result of a successful counterattack. Not for the fainthearted, but quite telling. I did not know a scrotum could swell to the size of an orange. Dr. Lane said the best rapist deterrent would be to post them everywhere.

What are you working on right now and what are your plans for the future?

At the moment, I am writing a paper with a tentative title Glands and Glans - from neglect to focus.  It will be a more sociological/historical study of how perceptions of male genitals in the context of female self-defense have changed throughout history and what were the implications for the era. I would like to stay in academia and continue researching some novel innovative techniques Linda proposed; they all sound brutal and effective but at the same time very exciting to explore. I also have ideas about some unconventional methods for distraction and deception, which we can develop and evaluate on volunteers. But it all depends on the funding and whether we continue to receive positive support from our dean.

Thank you, Tina, for this interesting interview, I wish you a lot of success in your scientific endeavors!

The greatest women’s weapons 👠 (part 1)

 Carrying guns or any self-defense tools is impractical and, in some countries, even illegal. There is an old saying in my community that the greatest woman’s weapon is her charm😊. Who would disagree but not very useful in a self-defense situation, is it? However, there are some other weapons that we often wear or carry without even realizing.

One day Linda surprised us at the end of the class with an unusual announcement. “Next class we are going to have a party, so come adequately dressed. It applies to you two as well, she pointed at surprised Bob and Peter.” We all were already accustomed to her strange ideas and unconventional pedagogic approaches but why not?

“Party with Linda, that’s gone be fun! With all those exams and stress, I am ready for some fiesta!” joyfully exclaimed Ana when we headed for the showers…

Burgundy midi dress was
my choice for Linda's party 

In the afternoon before the class, standing in front of my wardrobe I got into total panic mode. I was a university student living on a budget, so my closets were not overfilled with the latest fashion pieces. I did not go often clubbing or to parties and by no means I am a show-off person. I spent my spare money on casual clothes I could wear on different occasions, classes, exams, and visits to my family.

“Damn it, it is what it is!” I grabbed my wine high school prom midi dress, beige high heels sandals, and a small purse I got from my mom. What a relief it was that the dress still fitted almost perfectly. I put my hair in a low bun and put on make-up, rather modest. “Should do just fine!” I assessed my look in the mirror. It is going to be a self-defense lesson after all not a fashion show.

When I entered the dojo, I was greeted by loud chatter, careless laughs, and the smell of perfume and some oldies music, all indicating a real party was already going on. Linda, most of my classmates and Bob and Peter were already in. It was amazing how other girls dealt with Linda’s unusual request. One could see all types of dresses, some more casual outfits such as a white shirt and jeans worn by Rebecca to some creative high-end pieces such as Louise's chic sequin bodycon dress. Bob and Peter just wore some fancy slim-fit T-shirts and jeans and sneakers. But still, they looked cool, their fit bodies were always their prime peacock plumage.

Linda waved at me and offered me a drink. Non-alcoholic of course. She looked completely different in a one-piece pantsuit with a floral pattern. That strict athletic trainer we used to know, now became a glamorous party enchantress.

The mood was great but unfortunately, the fun did not last long.  Linda suddenly interrupted our excited banter, turned off the music, and announced that it was time to start the class. She finally revealed why all of this.  

There are different types of high heel shoes,
all can be an excellent weapon

“Well, it was no mistake I asked you to come dressed like this. I want you to be prepared for all possible situations and most likely you won't be attacked when in sneakers and gym sweatpants. Statistics show that many sex attacks occur during parties, celebrations, team building, and other social gatherings when inappropriate sex behavior and sex attacks are driven by alcohol, flamboyant atmosphere, and revealing dresses. Importantly, always remember you can turn parts of your outfit into very useful self-defense assets. No need to carry any cumbersome and conspicuous self-dense tools, that are hard to fit in a small purse. This is the reason we are having such an unusual class today. I want you to teach me how to utilize the things you have readily at your disposal in these situations”  

She glanced at our legs. “I see most of you put on different footwear types with high heels on. Good choice! Self-proclaimed experts often say that you should prefer wearing something sportier that allows you to run away fast when needed. Hmm…Those people probably did not see Claire running from the old Tyrannosaurus in Jurassic World 😊.”

“Joking aside,” Linda continued, “If you need to run fast from any danger, obviously you should take them off, but you can also turn such footwear into an excellent weapon. Let me demonstrate.”

Take the high heel shoe off and use it as a weapon.

She removed one of her red stiletto shoes and held it in front of us. “Because of its form such a shoe is a versatile defense tool, you can use it when you still have it on your foot as a hard spikey extension of your leg or by firmly holding it in your hand. The heel part is a great poking, hooking, raking, or trampling device. The thinner and harder the heel part, the better.”  

She pointed at the black top piece. “The surface area of the top piece is app 1 to 2 square cm and when standing you exert pressure over 200 atmospheres!”

She took a walnut from her pocket, put it on the floor, and trod it. It immediately shattered into small pieces and splatted all over the place. I just recalled how difficult it was when we learned the nutcracker technique and tried to crack the walnuts in our hands.

“Not only heels but also a hard-toe box is an excellent kicking surface against any soft area on the male body.”  We all knew what kind of prime target point she had on her mind.

She asked Peter to come closer so she could show us all the possibilities for the male body's anatomical destruction. “I see an attacker approaching me, or he is close to me and already touching me without my permission and making some unwanted sexual advances. So, I take off one of my shoes. It is important to hold it like this, very firmly. I can now poke him in the eyes or hit him in the temple, and once he is now covering the injured parts on his face and being distracted, I can go downwards, and with a sharp circular motion I hook the scrotum sack, well behind like this and pull sharply outwards, like you wanted to completely remove that pendent part of his body.” We sighed as she, totally insensibly to the scared expression on Peter’s face, demonstrated the move, not forcefully but informatively. We all cringed as Peter's bulge protruded because of being hooked by Linda’s new fashion weapon of mass destruction.

Linda explained further. “This move is effective even if has his pants on, of course, the best effect can be achieved when he is in underwear or exposed.” After those words, Peter looked absolutely agitated, clearly because realizing he was not going to get away from such a type of detailed and realistic demonstration. “With the shoe still on my foot, I can kick, stomp on his instep, or rake his shin.”

She turned around so Peter appeared behind her. “Especially deadly are rear scoop or mule kicks with high heels.” To show us what she means, she swung up swiftly her leg and the stiletto gently lifted one side of Peter’s package. “When done with force and precisely, testicle destruction is inevitable,” Linda added. I don’t think none of my classmates would have any doubts the moves Linda was showing are to be devastating. Peter's expressions showed he would not either. 

“Now let’s see how it works when the target is fully exposed,” she made a commanding gesture toward Peter. Peter, obviously not that willingly, unfastened his belt and pulled down his pants and boxers. Not the first time we got a full sight of his willy and hairy young man’s low hangers, but some blushing was unavoidable.

Hook the testicles well in the groove
in the back of his scrotum and pull sharply outwards. 

“So now we have a situation where the attacker is close and exposed, he wants to proceed with a forced sexual act. No obstruction ahead, time to do the hooking unexpectedly but resolutely. But be sure you latch the top piece well in the groove of the rear skin pouch and pull as much as possible, using the momentum of your arm.” She again did that, and the scrotum was tugged upwards and away from his body. Poor Peter got lifted on his feet and moved forward to ease the pull. The two hairy oval organs jutted out and the penis got pushed to the side.  

We wanted to be sympathetic and professional but some of us could not resist chuckling a bit. The sight was simply too funny. But we understood the necessity of these demonstrations for learning the techniques and that if performed in full force Peter or any other guy would lose his two orbs forever. Linda finally eased the tug, let the male organs again hang in their place, patted relieved Peter on the shoulder, and let him take care of his little bit disturbed testicles. And we were looking forward to the following practice….

How my knee met Bob's testicles

I got a feeling there was nothing more controversial than when I wrote that during the course Linda allowed us to test our freshly obtained self defense skills on Bob and Peter not wearing any protection, leading to an unfortunate accident when my knee ‘met’ Bob’s testicles in a quite unpleasant way. Linda sought to provide us with the unique possibility of getting as much realism in our training as possible, which is simply impossible with heavy groin guards and padding. It wasn't a piece of cake for either of us, but luckily nobody sustained any real injury, although sometimes it was a close call. I would say it was a miracle, given the seriousness and brutality techniques we learned and the ferocity with which we tested them on the two boys.

Looking back this was the Lindas course's added value and the uniqueness of her approach greatly helped us build our confidence and empowerment. Exploring the male body and its weaknesses on our own and ‘learning by doing’ was part of Linda’s pedagogical philosophy which made the course very special and effective (unfortunately also controversial).

When our training endeavor was approaching the end, we became increasingly proficient in whole action sequences, not only knowing how to attack testicles properly even till the point of their rupture but also other sensitive spots: eyes, Adam’s apple, knees, penis, and even the coccyx.

I did not realize the young guy in the hood
having me in a bear hug was Bob. 

Ultimately Linda gave the boys instruction to realistically play out a vicious attack on each of us that would come in surprise; we did not know when and where this try-out would happen. Bob and Peter were told not to hold back and act like real attackers and we were supposed, not to pull any punches in our response. This was the occasion to show our mastered reflexes, our situational awareness, our ability to unleash what’s inside us, what we have learned, and whether we can use it when needed. This concept scrutinized our readiness for the dangerous real-life world.

The day the unfortunate incident happened—it was late afternoon—I was coming back from lectures and was excited for the class, to have fun with other girls and Bob and Peter. This time I came in a bit early. The hallways towards the dojo were long, shady, and quite creepy but I confidently walked through and was about to enter the dojo when it happened out of the blue. Suddenly two strong hands wrapped around me putting me in a tight bear hug. I got completely immobilized and my hands were pinned. Because it was dark at that spot and the person was wearing a hoodie, I could not see who it was, but my strength was no match to his.

After the initial shock, the adrenaline and training just kicked in, and thanks to God, I did not freeze. I made a quick plan in my head; some of my strong body weapons were not blocked. In the first step, I made a sharp head-butt to startle him and to loosen his hold a bit, which was followed by a sharp knee strike. I could not see the target so it was like a shot in the dark, I just hoped my knee would be guided by his thighs toward the intended target. But it was not a perfect shot, I could not feel the softness of his genitals. So, I quickly re-aimed for the following attempt, this time I went deeper between his legs, and voilà, the striking zone landed perfectly. His thin fabric shorts offered no protection, and I could feel I was forcefully compressing one of his testicles between the pelvic floor and my knee as I was lifting him. My kneeing concert continued. The second time I tilted the trajectory a bit, so the other male egg got equal treatment, and as Linda said don’t forget there is also willy, so I went with my knee also right in the middle, so all three friends down there were treated equally. This time my lower thigh greeted the tip of his penis, while its two eggy friends just got only a friendly whack from my patella.

The attacker’s reaction was as expected, he bent over and let me go. I followed by a sharp chop to his neck which just accelerated him to the ground.

Breathing heavily, in a dissipated adrenaline rush I looked down on the young man's muscular body, which was now folded, kneeling, holding his manhood, and cursing. I was just about to conclude the defense sequence with a resolute finishing move - a toe punt kick to the sweet spot below his butt cheeks where the back of his ball sack was exposed by his position. Luckily, before doing that, I just realized the guy on the floor was one of our darling attackers—poor Bob! I was horrified… Shit… I squatted next to him. “Are you OK?!” I asked him, but he just shook his head in clear anger.

I put his head in my lap and made him comfortable. 

“Let me help,” I wrapped his arm around my shoulder and assisted him to get on his feet. He limping, and I supporting him, we got inside the dojo. I let him lie on the bench and relax. I allowed him to spread his legs to remove any unnecessary pressure on the agitated spot and put a small pillow below to provide some cushion. To further ease the pain, I fetched an icepack from the kitchenette and helped him to place it gently on his anguished groin, sat next to him, let his head rest in my lap so he gets the best comfort possible, and affectionately went with my hand inside his blond curly hair, ruffling it a bit.

“Do they ache, Bob?” I wanted to break a bit of awkward silence.

Should not have asked, his reproach glance at me talked by itself. “Of course, they ache, stupid me,” thought to myself.

“I am sorry,” I whispered to his ears, even though we were not supposed to eat humble pie in this situation as we would not do it for a real attacker.

Ice packs are essential equipment
for female self defense classes. 

As a sign of my attentiveness, I pulled up his T-shirt halfway and started rubbing his pubic region with my hand. Not sure if it helped or not but at least I was doing something. Seeing and touching his naked body I realized how ripped he was. Why he wouldn't, he was a student of PE doing many sports and exercising daily. Bad thoughts started to flow into my head, and I became troubled there could be some serious testicular damage, a rupture, or torsion. This was not far-fetched we learned how to knee perfectly with the ability and intention to do such damage. This was the moment I was a bit angry with Linda she let this happen and put the boys' ability to produce testosterone and sperm and being such young hunks in jeopardy. Was it worth it for the sake of our training? I let the readers of this blog decide...

The almost idyllic moment was disrupted by someone who stood over us. It was Linda.

“What happened?” she asked.

“We just had a small ‘accident’ with Bob during a mock attack. I am unharmed and free, but Bob’s balls took their toll.” I answered guiltily.

From the look on her face, it was not clear whether she was happy I could defend myself successfully in a realistic scenario or she was dissatisfied that Bob was put out of action and now cannot ‘serve’ as an attacker for other girls impatiently waiting to learn male anatomy and practice their self defense skills.

“I worry, it might be serious, and he needs to see a doctor.” I conveyed my worries to her.

“OK, let me check,” Linda replied.

Without any explanation or asking for approval she quickly slipped her hand into Bob’s shorts. The examination wasn’t very gentle as Bob at some point yelped and shook a bit. It seemed she was palpating the glands meticulously but also vigorously, checking for any signs of trauma: bruising, hematoma, torsion, or rupture. She then removed her hand from the shorts, and I was anxiously waiting for the outcome.

“Well yes, I see there is indeed a serious problem… it seems our Bob is a lazybone and wants to shun today’s class,” and with the same hand she just seconds before probed his male organs gently slapped his cheek and a bit mischievously added “Isn’t it like that, Bob?”

Then she changed her tone to serious. “Don’t worry Wendy, no emergency, when he is fine, just bring him back. I planned a lot of things for you today, and the girls are impatiently waiting.”

Testicular examination is like probing
fragile eggs for any cracks. 

When she left, I could not resist thinking of doing the testicular check by myself. Not that I did not trust Linda, but I had the urge to take Bob's bag in the palm of my hand and probe the oval testes with my fingertips on the whole surface, to completely relieve my concerns. But I was hesitating to do my investigation because of the already rough handling of Bob’s testicles first by my knee and then by Linda’s hand.  

Before I could do it Susanne showed up and brought a glass of water and a pill. She handed it to Bob, but before that, she humorously commented. “Seems the dangerous attacker once again got what he deserved!” But she was nice, she advised us on remedies to mitigate the testicular pain, some were quite weird such as rubbing the toes! Again, not sure if it proved a magic cure but it was fun.

To my pleasure, she also suggested doing the genital examination under her supervision, so I do not feel guilty and can do it correctly. “We learn how to damage testicles but should also know how to heal them, or at least make an informed decision whether to see professional help” she winked at me.

I caressed Bob's head kindly and asked for permission.  He agreed. It was a strange feeling. Susanne gave me, a dummy on this topic, a thorough guidance on how I should palpate the testicles and what signs and irregularities I should look for. “Handle them like fragile two eggs you examine for a crack. Not as good as ultrasound, but our sensitive fingers can do the job as well,”  she said.

We also pulled down his shorts and inspected the testicles visually, and although they looked a bit swollen and with a blue hue, Susanne assured me there was no indication of hematoma, the icepack should provide sufficient relief and the pain should go away in a couple of minutes.

Indeed, after some time, Bob showed signs of recovery, and I decided to follow Linda’s order to bring him back to business.  A little bugger, he was truly lazy, acting like being glued on the bench and not willing to get up so I had to use a mild enforcing technique like swinging my hand above his bulge to warn him what could happen if he did not follow my demands. Then I made a mock GTP movement in the air and asked him “Bob, you don’t want to be pulled to the class, do you?” This worked perfectly and he slowly moved out of his ‘den’. 

In the following days, I was often rewinding the moments of the incident, the initial shock and adrenaline rush, the tenderness of the orbs being crushed, and how impactful my technique was on a much stronger young guy. It was a very strange but at the same time, empowering experience and I am a bit ashamed to say I wanted to go through it again… Was it all Linda’s plan?… Who knows...

How to handle manspreading (self defense implications) Part 1

I already mentioned before that from time to time, I read a feminist online journal. Not that I would agree with everything written there but it is indeed interesting to see different views on some, often very controversial topics. Last time there was published a whole issue about so-called manspreading and how to deal with it. If you are not familiar with the expression, in short, men tend to spread their legs wide open when sitting, which especially on busy public transport causes problems by occupying limited space for other passengers. Because I commute every day, I have noticed this, but it has never come to the point it would bother me much or that it would offend me. Tom also likes to sit on our sofa like that when we chill out or watch a TV.

However, the author of the main article—a famous local feminist—claimed that manspreading is a serious societal misconduct and one of the typical signs of toxic masculinity. It is a very inconsiderate behavior, and we all should make a great effort to put an end to men thinking it is acceptable to shamelessly expose their filthy crotches to everybody and limit scarce sitting space for female travelers. As you can imagine there was a very heated discussion in the comment section.

Men are trying to defend themselves by claiming this is an anatomical necessity to prevent the discomfort of their testicles being compressed between their thighs. This was concurred by a female physician who wrote a comment that also the peculiarity of male anatomy of the pelvis and hips is responsible for this phenomenon. However, she also claimed that there is no justifiable reason to do this on public transport, and men should simply withstand those usually short rides in a normal posture with their knees together. Most female commenters agreed that manspreading combines men's laziness, lack of attentiveness and consideration for others, and the continuing urge to display their male dominance (and crotches). This male misconduct is putting women in a very awkward position, they are usually anxious and embarrassed to say something to a stranger in a crowd.

Spreading legs put this young man's
exposed testicles in serious danger. 

There were some very interesting accounts in the discussion and many women shared their sometimes very unpleasant experiences. One woman wrote: “Once I was sitting on a train in front of a man wearing a cyclist outfit, and at some point, he just assumed a pose like he was relaxing on a couch at home. The outline of his penis and testicles was so apparent, it almost looked like he had no clothing on. I had to look through the window the whole journey to avoid this disgusting sight...Why these guys cannot behave and be decent in public spaces?” she added.

Another woman said: “A young man sat next to me and immediately spread his legs. He was acting like I was not just there, with zero attentiveness, and zero consideration. With his right thigh, he pushed me against the wall of the cabin. Obviously, I did not want to make a scene, so I just made a gesture, angrily looked in his face, and then down there expecting him to get the idea. But nothing, no response at all! Then I saw one of his filthy dangly hairy testicles slipped from his loose shorts and was ‘proudly presented’ to all the passengers!  Bugger!!!…, he just kept paying attention to his smartphone. I was so upset that at the next station, I got off the train and took the next one…” 

Some women know how to effectively
 handle the issue of manspreading.
A heavy bag and stilettos is all it takes. 

How to solve this unpleasant issue? One woman posted a comment in which she explained a very effective (and to some hilarious) way she invented to deal with manspreading on the commuter trains, she takes every day to and from her job. This is how she does it: She carries a big handbag, in which she puts a lot of heavy books. This appears very innocent, just makes her look like a hard-studying student or a young teacher. She also wears stiletto shoes. When she spots a ‘manspreader’, at the right moment she walks by, pretending she is looking for a free seat or wants to get off the train at the next stop. The moment she is in the right position, she suddenly plays out an act that her stiletto heel slipped or got stuck in the floor and she drops. At that moment a bag full of heavy load lands on the slayed crotch of the misbehaver. Of course, she mastered aiming very precisely so that the corner of her bag hit directly the highly sensitive and the same time fully exposed bulge. According to her, the sharp edges of the books always do the intended job. She then innocently apologizes and quickly leaves. The man is, however, left in great discomfort, and his dramatic pathetic response and even cry, of course, draws the unwanted and embarrassing attention of all travelers. She finally added that this way men can quickly learn that exposing their private parts is inappropriate in public and doing so can sometimes cause their testicles more harm than good. She claimed that after a couple of such ‘interventions,’ the manspreading on her train line was almost eliminated! You can imagine she got a lot of likes from female readers.

I attended Linda’s course so have learned how sensitive the male gonads are in their awkward position hanging between their legs and frequently getting compressed. So, from my point of view, I understand and probably valid are the arguments that when a man spreads his legs it is just to give his testicles enough room and maybe some rest and air to breathe—something we women often find difficult to sympathize with because of the obvious differences between our anatomies.

Although a complex and controversial issue, manspreading has been discussed by Linda as it has some very important implications for self defense.  A sex attack can often happen when sitting, and a man for instance demands oral sex. In this case, a man often gets comfortable with his legs apart which means fully exposing his testicles. Good for us, we can conveniently utilize this situation when willingly provided unrestricted access to the scrotum. Linda used Bob and Peter to show which is the best approach in these situations and which techniques are the best and we even learned a new nasty technique called a ‘toast maker’…. To be continued…

Busting the ball myths (part four) – the delay in reaction

 A couple of weeks ago one commenter submitted a very interesting video about some crazy accident that happened in Peru. It was not that clear what was going on, but apparently, it was some kind of bet or rock-paper-scissors game between a young guy and a lady. The guy lost, and the lady immediately kicked him in the testicles with a perfectly placed and strong front kick. The reporter mentioned she was an expert in karate. The guy went down instantly and was in great pain; a nice example of proper kicking BTW. From what I understood he ended up in urology ER and one testicle had to be removed. It was just plain stupid to take such a bet. Apparently, he is a YouTuber and did it to get more views; did not earn any likes from me though. Ultimately he learned his lesson the hard way, but I hope he is fine known and will be much more careful with the remaining nut.

Looking at the video, I realize that there is an interesting topic to discuss as a continuation of the series about ball myths. When reading discussions and pieces of advice from ‘experts’ about female self defense online, from time to time there is a very weird claim popping up. It often goes like this ‘You should not try to kick a man in the groin because there is a significant delay in reaction, and during this period, he can keep fighting and do anything to the woman.’  Again, it would be interesting to know the origin of this myth. Well to me it is just one of all the myriad stupid excuses for some men (unfortunately often self defense instructors) to shy away from the reality of their vulnerability down there and rather go on with some laughable but non-controversial techniques (kick him in the shin instead, probably no delay in reaction with this one LOL). I have seen and experienced plenty of substantial evidence this is simply not true.

They all go down surely and swiftly

Training with Bob and Peter and having their, often unprotected testicles at our disposal was a very good opportunity provided by Linda to bust such misconceptions once and for all. Trying by ourselves was worth the thousands of words. On numerous occasions, the moment I felt the squishy soft tissue of a boy's little bag with my fingertips, the palm of my hand, the knee, toes, or the top of the foot, the desired reaction basically instantly kicked in. Just a mild disturbance of the glands and what was a fit strong young muscular body in the blink of an eye just crumbles down and writhes in pain. Sure, a brief delay is there but can be a fraction of a second or maybe a second max. Not a convenient time frame for him to fix his tie and just keep fighting as some delusional men imagine. I understand that many women do not have the possibility to test things by themselves as we did in the course. Luckily, numerous videos posted online of some real-time accidents (or intentions :) such as funny home videos, MMA matches, or TikTok ‘Hit-him-in-the-ball challenge’ (apparently there was indeed such a couple of years ago, look it up) are a good resource to see the true physiological dynamics of a man being hit the testicles. Notice how the response comes immediately and is associated with the common protection reflex. If you are still eager to try it out, and you have a boyfriend or husband, just find the right moment and unexpectedly strike the area with a gentle slap. You can play it out as an accident if you do not want to reveal the reason for your experiment 😊.

Typical male reaction and protective reflex
after being hit in the testicles

It is logical as the testes are unprotected glands hanging outside formed by highly innervated tissue with thousands of pain receptors (nociceptors). When agitated they fire the signal which travels up to the spinal cord and brain. It has been established that the speed of the pain signal is around 1 m/s so it gets there in no time. The reason for this is to prompt the owner quickly: ‘Look your precious family jewels are in danger if you do not want to lose them, which can happen easily, just back off and take care of them.’ As Linda used to say, ‘Balls and brain talk fast, use it!’

To be honest from the neurological point of view the situation is not that simple and there is a bit of truth in the myth. In a medical article I read some time ago there are actually two pain responses, one is fast, and another is a slow effect which indeed comes after and is much stronger. The spermatic nerves are directly connected to the nerve system of the abdomen (testicles originated there and descended into the scrotum during development). That’s why the effect is also called the referred pain, and the typical reaction is bending over due to the cramps in the stomach area (vagal reflex). In conclusion, do not be discouraged by the myth perpetrated by those who often feel embarrassed or even threatened by the capabilities women have, to fight back. We should not submit ourselves to some pathetic bogus claims and rather follow the evidence.